Comments for the Commentary

I mention to a co-worker that my husband and I are (probably; haven’t decided for sure yet) going to try for another baby in August.

SIDE NOTE: This co-worker doesn’t read my site regularly as it challenges his Wal-Mart World and has nothing to do with killing innocent animals.

Anyway, I tell him this piece of delightful news and he slumps, sadly, and says,

“Catherine, instead of pumping out children, you ought to be doing something really great.”

I pause for a minute to digest his highly insensitive remark. Of course, there’s an underlying compliment. Maybe he thinks such a brilliant mind should contemplate the ways of the universe instead of ways to erase stretch marks. Maybe I should ignore the rest of his statement and focus on the positive. Yeah. Sounds like me. Besides, I had twin sons over five years ago – since then, my womb has been empty. That doesn’t exactly put me in the same league as Mama Walton, right?

“Umm,” I say, trying not to overreact, “Raising children is great.”

He shakes his head.

“No, I don’t mean great. I mean important.”

Ahh, well, that clears things up.

Why can’t he be more like Sloan? This friend and fellow blogger won Best Response when he said, “No more babies for you two, unless you're willing to commit to another set of twins or TWO more regulars and conversion to Mormonism. A third child is guaranteed to be listless in life and haunted by the creepy-telepathic-twin-bond of your boys.”

That response is preferable to one that taps into my own tug of war between personal goals and responsibilities. Shove those responses up your arse, thank you very much.

Here’s the truth: motherhood trumps other ambitions. Don’t get me wrong. Parenting little ones is filled with joy, eternal love, and a profound sense of purpose with which no career can compete. That doesn’t mean days are without frustration and, sometimes, a sense of loss. (What am I doing with myself besides removing vomit from a sofa and relying on Elmo Watchers for intellectual stimulation?)

My co-worker’s comment spoke to hidden fears. I’m not alone, I know. Any woman stranded in the suburbs with a degree and child struggles with the same choices. There are times I wish I knew more such moms. Unfortunately, I’m surrounded by AHMs* consumed with scrapbooking and soap operas. They don’t know Tim Russert from Tim Conway and I’m not going to explain the difference. I thought I was about ten years away from leaving this world of strip malls, yet we might be starting all over again. Is it worth it – another gift from God in exchange for a few more years of unbearable sunshine and sprawl? Just keep me away from Desperate Housewives and I think I can do it. Yes. Absolutely.

A few more months will be spent contemplating our change of heart, mind, and soul. Are you up for it? I am.

*At-Home Moms