Get A Little Action In

Saturday, April 9th: My husband and I rented Supersize Me. This documentary, for those of you who don’t know, chronicles a healthy man almost killing himself by eating nothing but McDonald’s for an entire month. Surprisingly entertaining. I’m not a big fan of fast food (do you know any vegetarians who are?), but I have been known to grab an occasional 7-layer burrito at Taco Bell or an egg-n-cheese croissanwich at BK.

NEVER AGAIN.

Like that guy I dated in college who thought miniature golf was a great date – as long as I paid – sometimes it’s better to make a clean break and never look back. Just like that. It’s over.

Saturday, April 16th: We rented The Corporation. This documentary explains the history of corporations, how they became legal persons and started ruining the environment, harming poor people, manipulating children, and torturing animals. Your basic, good-time, popcorn flick. Afterwards, I ran around the house throwing away products made by offensive companies. Husband suggested burning them in the backyard with the children helping – just to drive home the point that mommy’s a commie/liberal. No, I feared we would attract neighbors with six-packs and dart games, looking to party.

My boycott list now includes twelve new companies. In addition to fast food joints, I discussed with friends and family the need to start frequenting local establishments instead of chain restaurants. My mate’s thrilled that Chili’s has been replaced with Annie’s Diner where the special is always macaroni and cheese. Just thrilled.

Yesterday I asked him, “What should we watch this Saturday?”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I’m boycotting documentaries,” he said.

“Why?”

“I’m sick of going to bed depressed and waking up with fewer options. I mean, really. What the hell is wrong with Spanglish?”