Dear Diary Vol. IV

1986 After reading this shit and remembering what I'd forgotten, it's becoming quite clear why I blocked it all out in the first place...

February 15: "Went to a church dance with Cathy and met Jon. We both like Violent Femmes and he's going to dedicate a song to me on the Radical Noise Show on WMNF this weekend. He's cute, but wears a trench coat so who knows? Becky's boyfriend Jeff fainted in school today. She picks some winners."

February 24: "Manic Monday. Got a job at McDonald's and worked french fries. Now I smell like one. Jon took me to see Pretty in Pink. My first real date and I hate his car and he never opened doors for me. Never again!"

March 10: "Becky's newest boyfriend goes by the nickname "Skip". When I made fun of him, he called me a c*nt and says whenever he looks at me all he sees are my tonsils. Becky says that means I talk too much. Another winner."

April 14: "We bombed Libya. Reagan sucks and mom says he doesn't do enough for "poor slobs like us". The fan in our living room started going backwards and smoke came out of it. Michele and Mom called the fire dept. and Michael slept through the whole thing. Maybe our new house is possessed. I was at a Thespian party with Becky meeting MITCH THROWER who is the hottest senior at Chamberlain even though no one else thinks so. I do. He's going to West Point next year. I love him."

May 5: "So get this. John comes up to me asking about Becky. He barked at me last year. I hate him!!! So I was mean. Then he asked Becky out and she said no. I told her good and that she better not. She told me not to be soo bossy and then "changed her mind" and now wants to go out with him. Best friend of the year."

May 14: "Becky and John were holding hands today so I guess it's really over between us. Forever. Got invited to her surprise birthday party. Called and said NO! Ran for president of Thespians and Ms. Nall decided at the last minute to stop the election and appoint the president herself. She picked Mieke! Over me! Biggest joke of the year. How's that for democracy? I had the election won so she picked someone else. Who does that? Dictators!! I hate high school."

June 6: "Last day of school. Last Saturday John stood up Becky. I laughed so hard. I feel kinda bad but not really. The problem with me is that I can't tan. Guys call me "Casper" and Cathy pretends when I'm in a bathing suit that the glare is worse than the sun. If I stay out too long, I burn. Good thing I'm in Florida - the SUNSHINE state."

July 16: "This guy Mike at work likes me. He's so nice and drives a Ford Mustang. I think he's Italian and looks like Corey Hart. It's nice to finally be pretty."

July 31: "Today is mom's birthday so gave her ginger ale, took her out to dinner and paid for it. Also gave her a ruby ring from all of us because Michele and Michael are kids and can't work. Mike drives me home every night from work and says he'd like to take me out. What does that mean???? I think I'm in love. Should be nicer to him, but he acts so weird. He said drama people are nerds. I got mad and he said not me. Still."

August 20: "Mike kissed me today at the pool party for work. He's great. But no tongue, just a lot of pecks. I thought Italian boys were supposed to be sex maniacs."

August 23: "Mike and I are through. He got mad because I jokingly said he had no body. He does! I was being funny, I thought. What a nerd."

September 1: "Well, I'm a senior now. Saw Becky and ignored her. Then felt bad and called her. We "made up". An extreme day. Ms. Nall is telling people not to hang out with Cathy and I because we are not "progressors". Hanging out with Josh - a sophomore but hot with long blond hair. Good kisser. But he listens to rap and grabs his crotch a lot. Staying neutral."

November 12: "Josh and I went to second base. To put it in one word: UNCOMFORTABLE. Not sure he knows what he's doing. He left roses on my front door for my birthday. Cute. Wish he was better you know where - in case Michele reads this and tells mom. I can't say too much."

November 20: "Me and Josh broke up because I wouldn't go all the way. Cried a little but know I'm doing the right thing to wait. Quit my job at McDonald's because they wanted me to rat out a friend who was skipping work and I walked right out. Just like Norma Rae. I'm proud of me."

December 31: "Mom finally joined the rest of the world and bought a VCR. Teaching Becky how to smoke cigarettes but she doesn't really catch on. "She's too pure to be pink." My new years resolution is to get a new job and fall in love. I'm beginning to think that love is made up and bullshit and only for people who never break out or have frizzy hair. That's what I think. I really do."