Don't Go Changin'... to Please Me

A friend of mine might move to Chicago. I’m thinking, “Chicago….Tampa…no contest.” He hesitates because he’d miss many good friends (mostly me).

“You can keep in touch,” I said.

“Keeping in touch is hard,” he said.

Just like a man. What’s so hard about maintaining contact with people? In this day and age especially, it’s never been easier. “Free nights and weekends” mean anything? And for the time it takes to watch commercials during SportsCenter, five emails can be sent out. I know. I timed it.

What about mass distribution lists; or as my cousin calls them, “mass distros”? He emails over a hundred family members at once, saving enormous amounts of time, to keep us informed about the exciting life of a graduate student in NYC. As I wipe poop off toilets and tushies, I try not to hold that against him.

There are negatives regarding emails and most of them involve me. For example, I’ve been known to reply to perfectly good correspondence in a pissy manner which gets me temporarily demoted to “Don’t email while happy” status. I once parodied a friend’s form letter and hit the “reply to all” button. Major mistake. Haven’t talked to her in six years. (My old “I thought it was funny” excuse didn’t fly. The email was funny, though. I still have it somewhere if you want to read it and agree.) So, yes, I’ve gotten into my own share of trouble with emails. Live and learn. I still think it’s a quick, easy, and somewhat painless way to connect.

I should know. I’m an expert keepintouch-er. For someone who doesn’t like people, I sure have accumulated enough of them. With few exceptions, I maintain contact with everyone that’s ever been important to me.

I even reached out recently and dragged my sister’s first boyfriend back into the mix. Why? Maybe I need another Pasco County Republican to abuse. Seriously, Jack was an important figure in my life and one of Husband's closest college friends. My future husband fixed him up with Michele and, as a big THANK YOU, Michele fixed my future husband up with me. (Pause) No, we don’t hold that against them. Besides, Jack once volunteered to spend six hours in a car with me visiting Melbourne during Spring Break. He’s a keeper.

That’s why I hate to hear people talk about how hard it is to keep in touch. If I can do it while maintaining a healthy work-life balance (see, Scott, working in the Welch quotes to keep you interested), anyone can. I’m not that special.

Okay, yes I am, but it’s still not hard.

What if someone gets away? I have two approaches.

Old CW: Mail out the holiday card anyway so it’ll get forwarded or, better yet, the card will return to you with the new address printed on it.
New CW: Google search.

So, reach out and touch someone. They miss you and would love to reminisce about that crazy time you rolled Tony’s house. Trust me.

Need further proof? My school district recently demanded I remit two years of overpayments even though the discrepancy wasn’t my fault. I investigated and discovered they simply required proof of my teaching experience from the mid-nineties. I called my old company’s payroll department, yet they destroy records after seven years and couldn’t verify employment. Since I still talk with former co-workers, several happily signed whatever I sent them, my school district approved it and I saved thousands of dollars. That might not have happened if I didn’t sometimes pull people back into my life, kicking and screaming.

So go to Chicago, Sunshine. You're not going to lose anyone worth keeping unless you want to. In so many ways, old friends are worth too much to lose.