Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Friday Night Lights

“You may ask, ‘How did this tradition get started?’ I'll tell you. I don't know. But it's a tradition... and because of our traditions... Every one of us knows who he is and what God expects him to do.”

Jews have been following a certain routine of rest for thousands of years and, in our house, Shabbat breaks down this way:

I light candles and cover my eyes, while everyone else covers their ears, before singing a prayer of thanks. I sound like Fiona Apple, I swear. Afterward, the man of the house holds up wine and Challah and sings his own prayer of thanks. He sounds like Neil Diamond; somehow it works. We then place hands over our children’s heads and pray they never vote Republican. Actually, the prayer is an affirmation of love and pride we feel for them. As evenings with the family goes, it’s not bad.


Then we sit and eat.

Sometimes we go to synagogue and sometimes we hang at home. Friday night is one night a week when we set aside distractions and concentrate on each other. We don’t answer the phone, watch television or post comments online.

Instead we:

  • Look at each other and try not to laugh.
  • Yell at Daddy when he tries to turn on ESPN.
  • Feign interest in conversations about Scooby-Doo.
  • Whistle and stare at the ceiling.

After the boys go to bed, Husband reminds me that headaches are a sin on Friday nights before falling asleep in the middle of my tangents.

That’s our Sabbath. It might sound trite, but these weekly meetings with the Lord keep us connected to each other and the rest of the tribe as well.

So here’s the deal: As a high school teacher, it is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore sporting events on Friday nights. These are not traditions that go back thousands of years; therefore it’s never been an issue for me. Perhaps my husband and I were waiting for the boys to enter high school before figuring it out. Maybe our kids would be part of the Goth scene and never even request a kitchen pass. When I was in high school, I only went to games when Michele or Becky performed special routines and requested my attendance. Cathy and I would show up half-drunk, throwing things and making fun of them. Good times.

My kids, though, they’re more like my man. You know, socially appropriate. These events are also pretty important in the lives of my students, co-workers, etc. This is where I work and where we live – our community – and we want to participate in events around us. (Not every event is up for discussion. I draw the line at carnivals.)

My rabbi used to say, “What are you going to teach your children? Sports are more important than family and tradition?”

My rabbi, he rocks with the guilt.

No, I’m not suggesting we do away with off-tune prayers and silent judging. It’s nice to have a night together – no matter what the rest of the world is doing. Thus, the confusion.

As is often the case when faced with Jewish Conundrums, I think of The Cohens. Every Jewish family should have The Cohens in their lives. I don’t know what we’d do without ours. First of all, Mrs. Cohen knows more than God. And Mr. Cohen may not know right then and there but he can find out. And when he makes up his mind, he’s always right. Seriously, they’re our best friends from Boston and more Jewish than anyone we know.

In her house growing up, Friday nights were broken down this way: Dinner was set in stone. Then everyone would go watch her throw her pom-poms around a football field. (How do all these fur-wearing, veal-eating, ex-cheerleaders find me?) Anyway, she grew up to revere the Jewish faith and raise her children the same way. Everybody wins.

If it works for them, it can work for us, right? As long as my boys and I are together, isn’t it okay to join the community as well?

This Friday, after our candlelit dinner, we’re going to watch my new school beat the pants off my old school in football. I feel good about showing my students some support. I just wonder how they’ll respond to a shout-out like “Shabbat Shalom!”

6 Comments:

At 8/31/2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will find a way to screw this up for Marc

 
At 9/01/2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apparently some of us are only Jewish when it's convenient.

 
At 9/01/2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always liked your Friday night tradition, kudos to family bonding! If the four of you are together, enjoying the same family time… does it really matter that you are at a school function once in a while? I mean, you can still be social at a game (something peeps don’t do while engrossed in television). Give yourselves lots of credit… you are excellent parents!
On the flip side, the Jewish people in our neighborhoods are always out on a Friday. They don’t drive, but they don’t stay home either. Interesting.

 
At 9/01/2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Katie,

I really admire your writing talents. Being an observant Jew in the disapora is very difficult, unless you are orthodox and seoldom mix with the non-Jewish community. It sounds to me that you are really giving all options very careful consideration and that you have figured out some compromises. After all, Jews should consider what the real purpose is behind observing the 613 commandments.

Hanna Zahava from Denver

 
At 9/01/2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Speaking of Jewish comedians, I highly recommend you see me in The Aristocrats. Leave the boys at home.

 
At 9/04/2005, Blogger mcgibfried said...

dude.. howie mandel is commenting? i knew it wouldn't be long before he was reduced to soliciting business on blog comments...

long time no see!

 

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