Time to Get Ill

“Into each life, a little rain must fall.”

When bad things happen, we have two choices: dwell on the disappointment or focus on the positive. Can anything good come from tragedy? Absolutely. Jennifer Lopez builds her career around it. Life is all about bouncing back – you just have to look at unfortunate events and spin them from another point of view. Some examples:

Downside: Natural disaster and not-so-rapid response from our government wipes out poorest of the poor.
Upside: Bush and Co. get to use favorite deflecting mantra (“This is, once again, for the fourth year in a row, not the time to criticize.”), allow gas/oil companies to gouge prices and score some profits, pretend to care during orchestrated photo ops all while neglecting a constituency that never voted for them in the first place.

See how this works?

Downside: Husband’s two year-old car breaks down on a Friday morning, forcing entire family to share mommy’s minivan – switching between Little Earthquakes and Rap From the 90s (depending on who’s driving) - while children complain they can’t hear Nintendo DS games. For the entire Labor Day Weekend. That's right; you heard me.
Upside: 1) together time; 2) husband embarrassed by feminist bumper stickers nevertheless gets high fives from local lesbians; 3) rap CD boasts Run-DMC and Arrested Development so Katie lets the Vanilla Ice sh*t slide.

This is getting fun.

Downside: Unstable and “How Low Can You Go?” platelets force Concerned Gynecologist to furrow brow and say, in scary drama voice, “Postpone pregnancy until we find out what’s wrong with you.” Who doesn’t love hearing that?
Upside: Meat-eating, chain-smoking friends/relatives now have proof to declare, LOUDLY, “Eating organic food and exercising every day doesn’t do one g*ddamn bit of good. Pass the pork please.”

Okay, maybe I’m the only one who can find humor in possibly bleeding to death at a young age. I'm trying to stay upbeat. For a real winning point of view, let’s get back to New Orleans, that veritable laugh riot.

Downside: Starving refugees right here at home.
Upside: Blame the French. Or Clinton. That always works.

I’m really cooking now.

Downside: Chief Justice Rehnquist, that old conservative with a bad attitude, dies and a spot opens on Supreme Court for someone else who wants to deny women equal pay, take away safe and legal abortions, and return us to pre-World War II-era social constraints.
Upside: While trying to juggle Katrina, Iraq, Roberts and Rehnquist, Dumbya might just explode. And the news media can still blame everything on poor, black folks.

Every grey cloud has a silver lining. Or, as my old peeps The Grateful Dead used to say, every silver lining’s got a touch of grey. Which will it be?

Downside: Depressing news, outrageous gas prices, broken automobile and diseased blood.
Upside: Goodbye cleansing – hello, happy hour!

Like I said, it's all in the way you look at it.