Responses - Part One

People have funny ways of expressing grief. When I say we're moving to Colorado Springs, barring some last-minute intervention, most look puzzled - then slightly sad - before responding with one of the following questions or comments:

"Give me a kiss goodbye. Ignore the tongue."

"Who the hell is going to buy a blue house?"

"Wait until after the elections. I wanna see you throw up."

"Did you know the founder of Coors Beer is anti-Semitic?"

"Mountain air might be fresh, but those high-elevation nose bleeds are the worst."

"Don't become a John Denver fan, okay? He sucks."

"Poor Becky."

"One less Democrat in the neighborhood. Thank God."

"Are you going to host a going-away party for yourself? It'd be nice to attend an event at your house that doesn't require a donation of some kind. Get JGLB to play and I'm so there."

"Are Jews allowed in Colorado Springs?"

"You and cowboys and wild animals... I'm going to purchase some stock in Xanax. Two words: easy money."

"I'll focus on the bright side. No more Jim Davis fundraisers."