Are You Loved?

If inclined to answer yes, then listen for a moment. Although, in theory, you have a right to do whatever you want with your own body (yes, I am pro-choice across the board) – I would argue that you shouldn’t knowingly do anything that might cause yourself harm. Hell, not even un-knowingly since when did ignorance excuse anything?

There. I said it. Straighten up and take care of yourself. Those who love you are owed at least that much.

Some say self-destructive behavior shows disrespect toward God. An interesting argument and yet, although I’m inclined to agree, I don’t think God’s approval or disapproval should be used exclusively to limit our enjoyment of certain “sins”. These sins have been known to include caffeine, sex, alcohol and several organic compounds that grow right out of the ground. (Big fan.)

Besides, moderation is the key. And while making countless bad choices shows a certain lack of respect for God and yourself, it shows downright contempt for loved ones. You do know better and “I didn’t mean to…” doesn’t cut it anymore.

For the love of everyone, please stop:

- Eating record amounts of dead animals and their poop.
- With the processed food. Just say no to partially hydrogenated oils, trans fats, and high fructose corn syrup. Yes, that means Oreos.
- Watching Fox News.
- Mixing hard drugs. Keep it simple, stupid.
- Making love to pork products.
- Drinking to the point where you’re round-the-clock obnoxious.
- Driving recklessly.
- Smoking. Period.
- Frying everything. It’s gross and contributes to bad funk.
- Voting Republican.
- Sexing it up all over town. STDs are so not hot.
- The spreading of your ass. Turn off American Idol and take a walk.
- Dating McDonald’s, KFC, and Burger King. Enough with making Border runs. Taco Bell is still fast food – that lettuce doesn’t count for sh*t.

In other words - take care of yourself. You owe us that. If you’ve done everything to lead a healthy life, when that death sentence is eventually handed down, you’ll at least know you had nothing to do with it.

And that will matter a whole lot to the people left behind.