Take My House - Please

Our humble abode has been on the market for over three weeks now and we’ve only had one family walk through and give feedback. The woman’s exact words:

“That purple guest room alone is enough to push me over the edge. Who sleeps in there? Barney?”

I like my funky flavors. Husband thinks they induce acid flashbacks, but even he has come to love our colorful home. Colors or no colors, as the real estate market slows to a snail’s pace, how do we get people in the door? At this point I’m open to any and all suggestions. My sister told me about an interesting tradition. Breaks down like this:

Bury a statue of St. Joseph in the yard. (St. Joseph was Jesus' earthly father - for heretics in the audience - and always had to uproot his family to escape harm. Apparently Brother knows a thing or two about relocation issues.) Some say he is to be buried upside down and three feet from the house. Others say to bury him near the “For Sale” sign. According to several relatives, this practice works like a…charm.

Hard-core Catholics (read: my mother) insist this isn't magic or superstition, but belief. St. Joseph intervenes after thoughtful prayer and devotion. Catholic groups that sell St. Joseph Kits some as low as $5.95)warn against secular agents touting the practice as good luck. I don't think Jews are allowed to pray to anyone but God. However, if it's more like conversation, where's the harm in that? In other words, can we talk?

More than a few testimonials and newspaper articles have publicized success stories.

Would St. Joseph, who was a Jew after all, see fit to help a Sister out? Perhaps I can get a Catholic relative to do me a solid. Husband suggested my mom, but she doesn't want us to leave and might reverse the curse. Maybe someone else out there would vouch for me and get this thing rolling.

Come on, I'd put in a good word to Moses if you asked nicely.