Chubby Chasers
Toward the end of high school/beginning of college, I hung with a group of guys affectionately referred to as "Trouble". By my mother after one of them, Dumb Chuck, downed an entire bottle of Old Spice in her bathroom just to rid his mouth of beer smell and left the empty bottle behind as evidence. ("Catherine - you've got some explaining to do!") They were a good group. Two words: lotsa pot. One of them, we'll call him Shane (cause that's his name) had a girlfriend on the hefty side; her name was Carol or Kathy or something like that. Shane called her "Moped". One night, after sitting on a Treasure Island beach with too many apples and nowhere to go, I asked,
"Why do you call her that?"
Shane said, "What does a fat girl and a Moped have in common?"
I shrugged my shoulders. Shane leaned forward and said,
"They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one."
He dumped her two days later. I know. Nice guy. This story would be better if I didn't admit to dating him myself a year or two later. And by "dating" I mean "fending him off at keggers." I bring up this story to illustrate a point. Why is a chubby girl not nearly as attractive as a chubby boy? Before you yawn and call this feminist drivel, hear me out.
Men who pack it are hot. They are. My sister hates that I admit to drooling over the likes of Jack Black, Lewis Black, and every other pudgy Jew who makes me laugh, but it's true. Brother doesn't even need to be Jewish. I have a thing for guys who are not obese, but definitely a bit on the large side. (Stop it.) This was not always the case. I used to hang with guys skinnier than myself (Mom called them anemic). They usually "played" in a band (I use that term loosely) and wrote really bad poetry. Then I met my husband and fell for the charms of a smart, funny man who could nevertheless squash me with his hand. If he wanted to. That turned me off to skinny, pretty boys forever.
Why aren't larger women hot? It's not fair! Even I will officially become part of the problem next June when I return to Tampa in order to be cut up and rearranged by Dr. Berger. And I'm slightly thin! Why is it that only men can work a beer belly into something tasty while women with a slight pudge are discarded by everyone but those weird guys who dig fat chicks? Really. I'm asking. Who thinks Janeane Garofalo is smokin'? Would you still get it up for your woman if she gained ten pounds? How about twenty? Inquiring minds want to know.
posted by kate @ 7:15 AM
9 comments
9 Comments:
VERY enlightening post.
I have always liked the more "zaftig" guy, tho the last few dudes i've been involved with were either skinny or athletically fit.
How can anyone NOT be attracted to Jack Black? Oy! Not that Jon Stewart isn't a cutie but he just can't hold the proverbial Shabbos candle to the "School of Rock" star...
As for women, "TV star" types anyway, you look at voluptuous Fran Drescher and you look at chunkster Roseanne Barr and you look at skinny Natalie Portman.
Who do YOU find most attractive out of that trio of brunette Jewesses?
Curious...
Hmmmm. I thought phrases like "Junk in the Trunk" and the elder "More Cushion for the pushin" meant that fluffy was in!
I love mah curves! I get noticed way more now than I did before I had Shayna. Then again, I also eat meat ;) (kiss, kiss) (vvvvvverta!)
By the way, who was it that coined the phrase "She could suck-start a Kawasaki?" Because talent like that CERTAINLY helps.
All I kept thinking as Jack Black flounced around during lame Nacho Libre was that if a woman did this - it wouldn't be considered funny. Showing her big belly, that kind of thing.
Then they actually showed a heavy female character and she was a source of ridicule because she was fat. The object of her affection was disgusted by her. Then a hot thin nun was supposed to be realistically paired with Jack Black. AND I BOUGHT IT! It seemed plausible to everyone watching.
How many times have you seen a thin pretty woman with a hefty guy? Plenty. Not so much the other way around. Heavy women are either paired with heavy men or alone or hooked up with an unattractive skinny guy. End of story.
I'll admit it. I've always had a thing for Janeane Garofalo. I do think she's smoking, but I don't like it when she is smoking.
I think, though, there's a difference between a few extra pounds and obesity for either men or women. Some of the new plus sized models are just fine. It's when the fatatude starts to affect the health (mental or physical) is where it becomes a problem.
Also, as you go from a hot/horny teen to realizing that what lasts in a relationship is something more than skin deep (uh, call it maturity for lack of a better term--which some never reach), you have less of a problem with the slight variations of body shape, hair and eye color, skin tone, height, and age.
Yeah, television and advertising try to sell us their version of perfection, but the reality is, deep, deep in our own hearts we know what gets us up in the middle of the night to head down to the allnight pharmacy to find Nightquil for our sick partner without a single cross word...and it has nothing to do with weight.
Just my two cents on what seems to be a very philosophical morning.
I could answer your rhetorical question, but I have to drive a couple of sumo wrestlers through Wendy's to get some Biggie Fries. Then we're gonna hit the clubs.
That sounds like fun. Can I come?
As a personnel trainer to someone close to your heart. I want to express to you that I was unaware of your addiction to big boned people.Please accept my apology for changing this persons body comp.
Work out all you want. His bones will still be big. And I'll still be happy.
Nobody touched on my situation. I am 5'5 114 but husband always said I was "fat." He left me for a woman who was a at least 200#. I do not have prob with bbw, I always saw inner beauty, but he gave me such a hard time- I am not getting it? He also insisted I not use my mascara or lipstick, yet same woman uses spackle and roller. Please help me understand why the disparity?
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