Just One Cock and She's Ready to Blow

"But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how I hold my gun
I got 99 problems but this b*tch ain't one - hit me."

First of all, don't let anyone tell you differently - the men who work your friendly neighborhood firing range are polite and charming. Sure they have buzz cuts and tattoos that, if you squint, look slightly racist. And they take the NRA way too seriously. Otherwise, though, they're hot.

Speaking of hot, Shooting Sports is at least 90 degrees and louder than the first row of a Tesla concert. Two booths down stood a couple on a real date, the kind that involves sex afterward, and I couldn't help but wonder if a movie and dinner wouldn't have been a better choice. The ear muff/eye goggle combo alone is a libido kill not to mention millions of micro-particle gun powder all over skin and clothes. Add in smoke from smoking guns and my fro was out of control even before sweating began. So not hot.

Still - one hell of a good time.

Even while shaking and shutting my eyes, I'm a damn good shot. The ever-popular "Osama bin Laden" target paper didn't stand a chance. Not to brag or anything, but I totally smoked his camel-biting ass.



Check O's face - if I were stationed in Afghanistan, this guy would be toast.

I did feel slighty sick after picking up a weapon and firing it several times. Powerful stuff and scary how something so small could end a life so easily. Then I got over it and eventually graduated to a 45 magnum. Make my day, motherf*cker.

Excuse me, where was I? Oh yes, guns are bad, bad, bad...

While firing round after round I mentally "talked to" my many victims. Osama played several different roles, but they were all variations of the same theme. An intruder whose ass I had to bust a cap in. "Freeze!" "Reach for the sky!" "Your ass is mine!" I was like a modern day Cagney. Or Lacey - whichever.

All in all, a good night. Favorite Hunter says next time we'll do a course where the targets pop up and I'll blow them away with semi-automatic weapons. Like Rambo. Good times - vigilante style. Maybe summer vacation won't be so boring after all.