Big Wheels Keep On Turnin’

Dad cut short a vacation and missed a few days of work to ride back home to Florida with me. All went well. Or at least that’s what I thought until I overheard a conversation between my parents.

Mom: Honey, are you regular?

(She begins every conversation this
way. After Dad nods, she continues…)

Mom: How was the trip? You
made it home so early.

Dad: Your daughter is hell on the highway.
Worse than me! ‘Hungry for lunch? Here’s some trail mix and a granola bar.
Thirsty? Bottled water. And if you have to urinate, use the
bottle.’
One of your grandsons had to go potty twice in two hours and she damn near broke
a
brain cell.

It’s true. My philosophy concerning road trips can be summed up in just three words: No unscheduled stops. I don’t enjoy cruising like a retiree in one of those god-awful RVs with bumper stickers insisting “Life is a Highway”. My favorite bumper sticker says it best: "Lead, follow, or get the f*ck out of my way."