Lessons Learned So Far

Reunions can be fun. The Eau Gallie High Class of '86 gathering was a delight from start to finish - from the girl who showed everyone her breasts to the guy who "just wanted to lick tequila off someone." I found a funky and cool chick covered in henna who shattered the myth that only wacky Christians homeschool their kids. Plus, I thoroughly enjoyed hearing over one hundred anecdotes about what a wonderful man I married. Even better? More than a few complimented his taste in lifelong sexual partners (read: me). Add in Big 80s music - and that's a night of magic, folks. Pure magic.

I also learned that:

- Talking about vasectomies with men I've never met before can lead to awkward silences with spouse, who declares "no means no."

- A professional bass fisherman who wants to nuke most of the Arab world can still throw one helluva party.

- There are 78 religious billboards between Orlando and Valdosta alone. Each one is enough to bring up the greasy IHOP breakfast that refuses to work its way through my digestive system.


- Someone will steal a $200 DVD player from an unsupervised vehicle. Who knew?

- The only thing that smells worse than wet dog is my breath after eating a peach that's been out in the sun too long.

Welcome to Georgia!