Thursday, August 03, 2006

Baby's Mama Drama

I'm sick of so-called Mommy Wars. Too many women justify choices in child rearing by dumping on society, moms who choose differently, or their own children. Shut up already.

At-Home Moms: Good for you. You're putting up with less income, sh*tty diapers, and the kids will surely benefit from a full-time caregiver who, unlike Teenage Nanny, loves them more than daytime soap operas. I was a full-time mom for almost three years and don't regret one moment I spent with my children. (Except "How to Poop in a Potty" class - two hours I'll never get back.) However, here's a newsflash - full-time parenting can be tedious. Those commercials addressing people injured in an auto accident or in need of an online diploma will leave you feeling less than prepared for grownup conversation. After a while you might harbor resentment toward women who decide, either by choice or necessity, to enter the working world after giving birth. You might even start to berate them. Don't. Stick by your decision, join playgroups to alleviate monotony and hug your children. They'll thank you for it someday.

Working Moms: Good for you. You're teaching children to value hard work and provide an excellent example of women who contribute outside the home. You skillfully juggle two or three demanding roles every day. You also sacrifice sleep, sex, and often put your own needs on the backburner. After entering the workforce, I too learned how to teach, write, play mommy and attend to a husband without going insane. Sort of anyway. Guilt seeps into the system sometimes - deal with it. Don't look down your Gucci sunglasses at a spit-up stained mommy and tsk tsk the poor b*tch. She's not doing anything wrong and neither are you.

When we feel good about our decisions, we feel good about ourselves. The women who complain about sisters who stay home "wasting themselves" and hurting feminism are really self-haters in disguise. And mommies who feel superior because they stay home are hoping no one finds out they drink to get through the day. Even worse? This guilt-ridden mama says her kids are boring! Why can't she just own it and say loud and proud: I'm bored! It's not the kids' fault. They're just being children. I'm sure she wasn't a hoot and a half at age eight either.

Put scorn where it belongs - with men. After all, they get to work all day, hit happy hour or racquetball at night and never suffer guilt because of it. At-home daddies don't attack fathers who play poker two nights a week. They're too busy laughing at us while we duke it out. Let's pick on them awhile and leave each other alone.

h/t to Addison

1 Comments:

At 8/05/2006, Blogger KleoPatra said...

I love the blame men theory. :o) Good stuff!

 

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