No Booze Allowed
This week at school, a bit of rain terrified administration and, as a result, we had an extended period where kids went to lunch one building at a time. While others ate, the rest of the kids stayed in class and teachers barked "pipe down" every few minutes. I listened to my students' conversations and wept for the future. As my brother would say: A heavy scene.
Hungry kids say the darndest things:
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"I don't believe in God, but I'm not an atheist because I have a spiritual side."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I believe in heaven."
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"There's this guy who'll pay you a million dollars if you can prove there wasn't a bomb in the World Trade Center before the planes hit. I'm going to New York after graduation and get me some of that."
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"If we evolved from monkeys, how come they're not still changing into humans?"
"Cause we hunt monkeys."
"Nobody eats monkeys. Why would we hunt them?"
"I've never heard of monkey season."
"That's a lie. We did come from monkeys."
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"I ain't never gonna marry a woman that's buffer than me. Cause I'd never hit her so I'd probably end up in one of those shelters."
"You'd be the only guy."
"That'd be a good place to find another girlfriend."
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"They can make a woman who's five feet at least 5 feet 7 with just a few operations. So I figure someone can take a few bones from my spinal column and make me shorter."
"They can't make you taller. Otherwise short people wouldn't be short anymore."
"They can! I saw it on Ripley's Believe It or Not."
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Then they started comparing Adam Sandler films. And all was right with the world.
posted by kate @ 8:41 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I don't know if I fully understand your attitude re these comments.
Without exception they would make a wonderful Adam Sandler film--or several films. (Send them to Sandler--he will eat them up)
And, as we all know, Sandler is a reflection of our society today, i.e., stupidity can get you elected President. Which begs the question, who is really stupid--the electorate or the electee? And, that leads to a further question--is the electee smart enough to realize the stupidity of the electorate? Or, is the question really the answer--the electorate always chooses--except in very rare cases--the lowest common denominator--,i.e., we want someone just like us.
I can't speak for everyone, but I'd want someone just like me. A witty gal who can complete the New York Times crossword puzzle, suck down a couple pints, and recite every lyric the Beastie Boys ever wrote. Plus - have I mentioned my rack?
Pick me out a candidate like that and she has my vote.
You said "suck down"
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