Friday, September 22, 2006

One Man's Ceiling is Another Man's Floor

Opened the mailbox at home yesterday and pulled out an envelope with my name/address typed on the front. No sender's name or address though.

Hmmm... Either a freak or potential life partner.

So I opened it. Of course. And found a few goodies.


A friend from Oldsmar? Come on, some 50-year marriages have started out in weirder ways. He/She also sent some awe-inspiring business cards.



Serious questions for a serious sinner. Perhaps this future lover is familiar with my work?

And several flyers suggest health problems, everyday frustrations,








and farm work are much easier to handle with the Lord on my side. These award-winning tracts are purchased from a God-fearing website that takes most major credit cards.

I've written items over the past year that incur either the wrath of neocons or the warmth of local senior citizens. However, this is the first time I've been given the gift of eternal life.

If you're seriously freaked out, consider: I had no clue my letter appeared in print until Secret Admirer sent this care package. Read it here. The Trib and Times all in the same one-week period. Better than sex!

So anonymous religious fanatics are good for something, I suppose.

11 Comments:

At 9/22/2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When someone sends an anonymous letter, they aren't really that committed to their cause.

 
At 9/22/2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Way creepy. Seriously.

Jeff is right.

Also, my guess is that your anonymous religious fanatic has WAY too much time on his/her hands.

 
At 9/22/2006, Blogger Danny said...

Holy god. that person is nuts in the head. I bet they don't even know what the History Channel is.

 
At 9/22/2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That package is such a cop-out. If they were really truly committed to converting the heathen and proselytizing, then they should actually go out and practice it. Sitting at home and mailing packages anonymously is weak. At least have the courage of conviction to sign your own name.

-- Anonymous blogger

 
At 9/22/2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd keep it in a plastic bag so the police can dust it for finger prints. Creepier things than this have started innocently enough.

 
At 9/22/2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And they have your name, address, who knows what else? great....

 
At 9/22/2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ooooohhhh, i love fill in the blanks! hmm, where would my soul want to go that begins with "h"? i think hawaii would win out; although, my inner child may be upset that my soul got to pick. i honestly try not to favor one over the other.

 
At 9/22/2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think.......it's quite flattering........Clarice. If you want to........uncover.....this ellipse-o-fanatic......first, seek your principles. Read.......Marcus Aurelius. Then of each thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does she do.......this.......crusading Oldsmarkian?

 
At 9/22/2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your soul is worth more than $0.39.
Could have at least sent it two day air.

;-)
t...

 
At 9/23/2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not a freak go to http://garart.squarespace.com/welcome

oh yeah, i'm 25 years married and i love!

Joe Garcia

 
At 9/23/2006, Blogger luckylucas said...

LOL I love the one Disappointed in Life? one - cute little ball & chain.

You should sign up for the American Family Assoc emails. You can buy a "It's not Gay" dvd to show in Sunday school - a film with recovering homosexuals... :D

 

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