Yo Baby; What's Up?

I don't go out too often. Several reasons.

The terms “acting-single mom” and “barfly” don’t really go together. Or maybe they do and I want to fight the cliché. Although one might suspect that lurking in a poorly lit facility filled with drinkers might make me more approachable, one would be wrong. I mean, have you seen my hair? Therefore I usually stay home with my two favorite men, Ben and Jerry, and watch the latest Owen Wilson film in peace. And peruse the Internet. But I digress.

Saturday night I braved the elements and dragged my friend Lynda along to The Blue Shark. Tommy was there with JGLB – and that alone is worth the trip from Wesley Chapel to Ybor City. Hell, I’d drive to Orlando just to see this group of guys sing and play their hearts out while scantily clad women gyrate in front of (and sometimes on) the stage. I especially love when Johnny and Tommy synchronize their dance moves. Too cute and I just wanna jump up there and squeeze them.



Brett walked right up and said hello. Even introduced me to his woman. Of course, this occurred before humidity hit me. Brett then dragged us upstairs where I met David Pinero and heard his theories on Internet revenue. Imagine my surprise when this mild-mannered man later busted a move on the dance floor. Few more beers in me and I’d have joined him.

Then I turned around and met these women.



For a second I thought my synagogue was sponsoring a “Roman Revelry” party somewhere on 7th Avenue. Turns out Carmine’s hosted Toga Night and these girls only looked like my mother-in-law’s Mah Jong partners. The resemblance was uncanny.

There is something admirable about ladies who have nipples that point to the ground, yet possess more body confidence than I ever will. Even after my plastic surgery procedure this June, I doubt I will feel as comfortable dancing in public as these delightful dames.

Check out the heart.



God love her.

Years ago, I used to drink alcohol through a straw because 1) it made American beer taste better; 2) it made American men taste better; 3) my lipstick lasted longer; and 4) funneling in public is frowned upon. Glad to see this habit is making a comeback.



As midnight approached, Lynda and I headed home. I look forward to future dates with Brett, David, and Brett’s super-cute sweetie. Tommy is always a charmer – I’d even pay a cover charge next time! And that saxophone player from the first band was hot. Of course, if I were truly single, the only action I’d see would be from this guy. I just know it.



Reason enough to stay married.