Kick it Over Here Baby Pop

Shopping season is upon us. Only a few weeks left to find that perfect gift.

I prefer to give and receive books. We even devote one night of Chanukah to such treasures - Book Night - because used or new, regifted or recycled, fiction or non - doesn't matter. Better than jewelry.

You heard me.

Funny story:

Years ago, Husband bought me a diamond bracelet. I opened the box, smiled and
thanked him profusely. The next morning, I grabbed my breakfast banana and
said,

"Can we talk about the bracelet?"

"Don't you like it?" he
asked. "Elise helped pick it out."

"That was your first mistake," I
said, laughing. "Elise eats veal, wears fur, and sparkles from head-to-toe. Now
her husband you could have asked, he still wears Birkenstocks."

Calm
down. Husband wasn't hurt. He's used to me.

"You really don't like it?"
he asked.

"I like it," I said. "I just can't, in good conscience, wear
it. Too many starving people in the world."

"Well," he said, "you
weren't born a Jewish girl. That's for sure."

"What do you mean?"

"You're talking about returning jewelry while going down on that banana.
Total convert. Trust me."

There are other gift ideas out there besides books. Taking Joel's advice, for Charity Night, I'm buying my children a membership to the American Civil Liberties Union. Cause why not.

And Joel spotted this winner first, but Jeff ran with it. So hot. Apparently I am not the only woman in America who wants to burn calories while looking like a porn star. We should form a club.

And this t-shirt design comes in children's sizes, right?