When the Snow is Fallin' then I am Gone

My favorite brother - okay, my only brother - sent this email. Seems our former Florida boy is freaking out.

Dear loved ones,

Please help us. Wife and I are in serious trouble and
we need your help...

Crushed Ice is falling from the sky here in Kansas
City. Since we are from Florida and ill-equipped to deal with this situation we
are seeking your assistance.

My mom says that "Brandy Alexanders" are
the way to go because Brandy "warms you up."
(her words)

But those
drinks have, as you may or may not know, ICE CREAM as an ingredient. I thought,
perhaps, there was a schnapps to deal with this situation.

Any input or
advice you have would be greatly appreciated. Please keep in mind, however, time
is of the essence since the roads between our apartment and "Bagglia Liquors"
could be closed off very soon.

Our favorite Uncle had this piece of advice: Buy plenty of fruit syrup to make Italian ice cones.

Another gem of a relative let loose this wisdom: in such situations i am partial to the harder - straight to the brain type drinks - jack daniels - old grand dad - straight up or with a splash of water. my wife on the other hand is into the hot chocolate and brandy type things - either way - definitely no ice cream. life can be cruel and difficult.

Smartass Sloan was no help at all. What else is new: That's a shame because it's 80 and sunny in Tampa today. Why would anyone leave this place?

Anyone else wanna weigh in?