Nor Do I Play Like I'm Hard

Everyone expected me to cry before the weekend was over.

"You'll hate being alone."

"After a few hours, it'll seem too quiet."

"Freedom ain't all it's cracked up to be."

Nonsense, my friends. Nonsense.

Every woman needs some alone time to recharge her batteries, bust a move, and clear away the cobwebs. Feel me? When everyone left Saturday morning, I felt momentary pangs of guilt. What kind of person stays home while her entire family - parents, siblings, children, and spouse -hangs in Denver (read: one degree weather) for three days? I watched them walk into the airport and remembered what my sister said,

"Mommy time isn't selfish, Kate. It's survival."

Godd*mn right. So long suckers!

I spent three glorious days getting to know myself all over again. But more on love toys later. This is a family show.

I:

- enjoyed friends I adore and never once had to glance at the clock.

- cleaned my house (second favorite thing to do) and each square inch stayed clean for more than just two hours. A boys' bathroom that doesn't smell like urine is a beautiful thing.

- tried to find a vegetarian Cuban sandwich (Tommy's idea) but gave up after the fifth person laughed and said something dirty in Spanish. I'm guessing. Could have been French.

- fired my realtor because enough is enough. Need an aggressive broker this time who will work his/her ass off and reunite our family - June at the latest. Can I get an Amen? Please?

- watched Dreamgirls (Eddie Murphy deserves an Oscar and Jennifer Hudson made me wish I hadn't boycotted American Idol at least during her episodes) and then snuck into The Holiday (cause Jack Black is hot). Right. That's my defense and I'm sticking to it.

- danced around my house to "Funky Cold Medina."

- treated myself to a manicure, pedicure, and facial at Serenity Spa and walked away feeling like a brand new woman. All serene and sh*t.

- didn't exercise or eat right or wear pajamas.

These are the days to remember. And now I'm ready to welcome my boys back and carry on like a grownup. Lost weekend indeed.