Frank Zappa Is Always Right

Favorite part of my pre-op appointment had to be when the nurse gave me this gadget

and asked me to suck.

(Insert your own favorite bong/blow job joke here.)

Seems after surgery I will be required to suck on my new favorite toy several times each hour to prevent pneumonia.

So I sucked.

And sucked.

And sucked.

Nurse was visibly impressed.

"Wow, you kept the lever up over 3500 for over 30 seconds. That's fantastic! How did you do that? Are you a former swimmer?"

"No," I said. "A former Catholic girl."