The Drama Continues
Parents feel free to criticize teachers, especially parents who have troubled children. They don't realize we're on the same team.
And they sure as hell can't stand up to the same scrutiny.
First, acquaint yourself with the story. Then read the mom's rebuttal.
If the school would let the parent know when a child skipped class, that wouldMy response:
be great also. Alot of times he is put in another class and teachers forget
and call him absent.
He tells me that he doesn't have any homework. He never had homework in his classes in middle school . Everything was done in the classroom. I am not told any different from any teacher until final grades come out. Maybe someone should show interest in Adam and get him back on track, instead of just failing him with no conference with his parents. Has anyone set a conference with me?? other than an IEP meeting in December, I got no communication, until we discovered Edline reports, in March. Superior's teachers are too busy to be involved with someone like Adam. He had A's and B's and C's in middle school. I believe it is the teachers that are not experienced enough to deal with Adam. There are ways to teach Adam and make him want to do good. But most teachers just give up as you have and give him F's
Hi there,She sent back another email quickly and her final decision should surprise no one. I want to tell her that Adam has exhausted his options and that I'm the only show in town. I want to tell her, "Good luck with that." I want to tell her to get help before it's too late.
So nice to hear from you again.
I'm not sure you understand the role of a high school teacher or our policies here at Superior High School. Luckily, I'm happy to help.
We are trying to prepare our students for the real world where they will be held accountable for their actions. Our educators know how to teach and deal with all kinds of students, Adam included. We do not benefit from parents assigning blame when they've never attended a conference night (we have four a year), requested a private meeting, or set foot inside our classrooms. Your son has many issues, most of which began long before he arrived in our school. Perhaps you'd do better to sort out those particular problems before coming down on his teachers. We see Adam for fifty minutes a day and cannot possibly undo sixteen years of unaccountability and bad
habits.
If Adam comes to class prepared and eager to learn, I will gladly
do the rest. An "F" is a reflection of his work or lack thereof, Mrs. Moonhead,
not a reflection of the teacher. Adam will never learn to be a responsible adult
if his mother continues to make excuses and blame others.
Please read this more than once if you need to: When Adam doesn't work, then his consequence here is a failing grade. When Adam breaks our rules, his consequence is
detention or suspension. If these consequences don't work, then I'd suggest
holding him accountable at home. After all, Mrs. Moonhead, you see him for more
than fifty minutes every day. It's really up to you.
We can only help those who help themselves.
Have a wonderful weekend.
But I won't. Less than five weeks left in the school year, I am hoping she takes a deep breath and thinks about it.
Anyway, I'll give her the last word. This is her final email. So far, anyway.
I really see now why you have no success with Adam. I want another teacher
assigned. You are something else I tell you.
18 Comments:
All things considered it's best you two part ways.
- Real World
I disagree. The best case scenario - realize a teacher who cares enough about students to not allow them to use disabilities as an excuse, to break rules or refuse to work, is an asset. To the family, the school, and community at large.
Teachers are not the enemy.
I didn't say you were the enemy. I said all things considered, it's best you two part ways.
- Real World
anonymous, the best thing for the kid is NOT to part ways. It will only delay his wake up call that he desperately needs.
Who better than an activist stubborn teacher to show this kid who has a bad parent and no discipline that he needs to shape up, or he will fail, more than in school, but in life.
No evidence that's always the case or will be the case in this instance, rich. No evidence that the parent is necessarily "bad" as we're only getting half the story. Not saying the kid may or may not need a wake up call. I'm saying someone else might be more successful than "activist stubborn teacher" at motivating the student. You know, that another might succeed where someone else hasn't is a distinct possibility, you realize that, right?? We are more interested in what's best for the student over egos, aren't we?
Besides, the parent (who is the responsible party) has requested another teacher to be assigned, and unless the school system is such that the parents wishes are completely disregarded (which would be a real pity), then the liklihood is they'll get the reassignment they desire. Let's see what happens.
- Real World
Kate, you are something..and she should be appreciative of that something. Truly, parents need to realize that their kids don't need excuses, they need goals and structure. Why would a kid want to do any better if mom is just going to get him out of trouble by playing the poor pitiful me game. She obviously has never had to deal with a boss that wants it done his way or she's fired.
Rich - *blushing* I do believe "activist stubborn teacher" is the nicest thing you've ever said about me.
RW - If moving this kid to yet another classroom would help him, then I'd be all for it. After several schedule changes, I do believe he and his parents should give me a go. And my philosophy that he complete assignments correctly in order to pass. It might just do the trick.
Thanks Addy.
I just want to say how troubling it was that Kate suggested holding Adam accountable and Mrs. Moonhead freaked and lumped more blame on her and the system.
Over and over again you see this now. It's the third parties fault. It isn't the initial decision or the consequence but the 3rd party. Be it teachers, be it rival political thoughts, be it society, etc. It's always THEIR fault.
When are we going to go back to the notion we're responsible?
Five weeks left, as Kate noted, and it's too late in the schoolyear for that mother to start looking into the situation with her son... Though it's curious what her circumstances are, it doesn't forgive the lack of accountability on herself and her son.
Why Kate, I was in fact in a way complementing, but by definition its true.
You take on many issues with writing campaigns, showing up to meetings, etc. That is activist.
Being a hardline liberal, or by that matter, a hardline conservative, is being stubborn. Neither one of us like compromise, for when that happens, many times the finished product is very watered down, and not effective.
Stubborn parents, daycare workers, and teachers are the best thing to put un-disciplined kids back in line.
>>RW - If moving this kid to yet another classroom would help him, then I'd be all for it. After several schedule changes, I do believe he and his parents should give me a go. And my philosophy that he complete assignments correctly in order to pass. It might just do the trick.<<
I must admire your desire to see this through, in your belief that you are the one who can help this situation end in the best result. However, if you've got a parent requesting their child be reassigned, then chances are you've lost their trust. In fact, I'm placing this in the "strong possibility you've lost their trust" category. The student sees the parent doesn't trust you, they'll follow suit. Right or wrong, in the eyes of a 16 year old who's failing your class, to him you've become the problem. Tough ground to make up.
Once again, it's a wait and see.
But never mind me, I'm mainly here to enjoy your perky breasts and nice butt. ;)
(waiting to see if I get a "nicest thing you've ever said about me" comment, too.) :) :)
Hoping for the best for all involved.
- Real World
Let me just say thank you to the majority of readers and commenters who get where I'm coming from. Even those who disagree with my politics seem to read and know that I'm, at heart, a kind and decent person who wants what's best for my students. Whether venting or reaching out for support, I appreciate your words of encouragement.
For the record - I've changed every identifying characteristic of this kid because, while I think it's important discuss parent-teacher relations as they exist in the real world, I'd never embarrass a student. From candy of choice to diagnosis, I've changed almost everything so that he'd even remain a mystery to himself. Or herself. KnowwhatImean?
Of course, there are always haters; Cho-like bloggers alone in their worlds of paranoia and pissiness. They read and see malice where there is none. Because such motives consume *them*, such motives must be present everywhere. I pity you. It must be hard living a life where you're on one side and everyone else is on the other.
Most of my readers are, like me, good people. To paraphrase a great movie, most of my readers see with better eyes than that.
My perky breasts and nice butt thank you.
wow. it's always amazing how so many parents just drop the ball
LOL !!
You mean most of your readers are anonymous.
And they all think just like you.
I think that's amazing. Yer amazing, too. LOL !
You and your readers have so much in common.
Just that you have gone into defensive mode with the anonymous ones is telling.
What a great letter you wrote! Indeed this poor kid has had the typical experience of most american school children- the complete lack of accountability finally catches up with them in high school. No wonder the national drop out rate is close to 40%. Too bad Mom doesn't get it.
Did Kate just call someone Cho-like?
Defamation of character and FERPA leap to mind.
Hey, it is kind of obvious how you never responded in the one post but had 'anonymous' do all your responding .. but you jumped right in on this one. It's so easy to spot these things with a tiny bit of looking but with you I only had to look at three posts.
Oh, that's probably a coincidence.
ummmmm are you the same one who said 'the masses are asses' and then said that it must be hard to be alone when everyone else is on the other side?
Whew. Unbelievable.
Just say anything as long as you can hear yourself typing.
LOL !!!!
The Sycophant of Sound Bites.
VP-It's rather amusing that you accuse Mrs. Robinson for comment fraud when I have bore witness to repeated comment removals and poorly executed comment edits on your own diatribe. Additionally, you've spent a rather inordinate amount of time on what you called in an earlier post this "lil blogger cat fight" when Kate "isn't even on (your) radar." I think we're all ready for the cat to get your tongue and see you disengage from this waste of your so obviously precious time.
Hopefully Kate will be fired and never be allowed to teach again.
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