Sometimes These Posts Just Write Themselves
Some background: Parents send nastygrams to teachers every day. Here is an example of one such parents' initial contact with me. I changed nothing except the kid's name and identifying characteristics.
Enjoy. Or not. Completely up to you.
Her email:
I am very upset on why you keep doing note book checks and giving Adam "F's"when Adam has a problem with organization. He just cant get organized. Why don't you try grading him on his history skills. You are grading someone who has Asbergers Disorder. That is his disability. They don't have any organizational skills.This was my response:
Please change how you grade my son. You are failing him for his disability.
Dear Mrs. Moonhead,
Nice to meet you.
Since you were polite enough to introduce yourself, let me do the same. I'm Catherine Robinson, Adam's History teacher. Adam came to find himself in my 2nd period class after disturbing several other classrooms this year at Superior High School. When Adam was caught throwing rocks at the school's windows, he led several teachers on a foot chase down the street and into a restaurant before surrendering. Therefore, it should not surprise you that Adam's presence in my classroom has been distracting for other students and he has shown little concern for my classroom's policies or assignments.
While I would love nothing more than to grade your child based on his history skills, I cannot. See, Adam has only turned in two assignments. He'd much rather throw Skittles at his fellow students. Adam's lack of organization is the least of his issues and not really a factor in my grading system. Appreciate your feedback, though.
In related news, I had to write a referral because Adam was in school yesterday but did not attend my class. Student Affairs has no record of him signing out.
Is truancy also a sign of Asperger's Syndrome?
You take care.
Sincerely,
Catherine Durkin Robinson
Hey. At least I wrote "Dear" and "Sincerely". That's gotta count for something.
posted by kate @ 5:39 AM
16 comments
16 Comments:
This child has a long hard road ahead. Will a letter from mom in the future read something like this:
Dear sir/madam,
I am very upset that you keep doing performance reviews on Adam and giving him substandard evaluations for his customer service. You see Adam's strong point isn't interacting with customers, but he's very good at (making paper airplanes, playing drums with two pencils, surfing the Internet for porn) can't you evaluate him on his (paper airplanes, pencil drumming, Internet porn surfing) instead?
Now that was a solid letter. Put these bad parents, b/c thats what causes children to act that ridiculous, in their place, and force them to shape their kid up, so he would then have to take responsibility for something, and do his work for once. Well done.
I dunno, girl, is the sarcasm really necessary? The letter kinda writes itself without it, anyway, doesn't it?
You're right, but, well, flies, shit, honey, etc.
Yes, R*, I remember that you are not a fan of the sarcasm.
However, my sarcasm is funny. At least that's what my co-workers say as they high-five me down the hallways and my dept. head laughs so hard that tears come out of her eyes.
I am such a *whore* for that type of stuff...
What gets me is that she uses medical reasons as an excuse why the kid can't get his act together.
So I'm gussing "Adam" probably has heard this excuse used first hand to describe him... He'll carry on that excuse to keep doing EXACTLY what he's doing (nto focusing, distracting, disrupting, etc) and think it's A-ok. When he gets fired from a job he'll blame the company for discrimination (or at least make the excuse it's THEIR fault, not his).
I was dealing with a guy just a matter of weeks ago who was using disease as an excuse -- expecting to be given a free pass because he's ill. Expecting special treatment because he's had it rough. Sick (in any sense of the word) or not, you earn what you get. This guy earned a ban off a web site I administrate. I don't wanna' imagine what "Adam" will earn if things don't change in his life.
You don't sound like a compassionate Liberal to me. Do your job and teach the child!!!
Kate + R*
I think I'm having a sargasm.
OK, that response is seriously the first thing I have read that has made me laugh out loud in a long, long time.
And, I mean, I go through novels in a couple days.
Too, too awesome.
Since when does being a compassionate liberal mean you need to let bratty kids and their entitled parents walk over you and the entire education of a classroom full of others? Screw that.
I can't even fathom what Kate does. I did it for a year, and it sucked donkey balls. There's just no other way to put that.
A very good friend of mine is a school psych for the county, and I've had a few serious conversations with her about whether it's really the school systems place to try to work through personality and behavior problems and a lack of decent parenting.
I don't think it really is, though she says if not them who - and that they are there to get kids ready for the real world.
I'm not even that old, but when I was in school my family was a phone call away and they never hesitated to call my mom. That was all it took, and eventually the looming threat of it kinda kept me in line.
The parents are who truly kill me in all this. Best. Birth control. Ever.
I'll assume Ms. R* is alluding to my comment. If not, add some sarcasm to this comment.
David Jenkins,
In my experience, conservatives are about 90-10 in actually being firm and strict parents, and keeping the kids in line, and teaching them boldly to respect their elders, and show respect for their teachers and other students in school. I would include discipline in this definition when kids have been warned, or know what they are doing is wrong.
Liberals, in my experience, are about 55-45 towards firm parenting as mentioned above. The only ones that buy the pie in the sky belief that you spare the rod and spoil the child, are what i would call the completely out of touch parents, who dont understand the reality of what shapes kids behavior.
Now I dont mean to ruffle feathers, or get people angry at me, im not meaning to do that. I just know the people i know. My wife's sister and mom are 2 close examples of the non-firm parenting, and her sis's 4 year old and 8 year old are very difficult to be around.
I dont think its very much political, b/c only about 25% of all parents believe in this. They just happen to have this theory that if you just let the kids run amok in tantrums, that they will work it out. Its usually the same people who dont want anyone to make judgements about any behavior. The more the kids get away with, the more they will do. hence the kid kate deals with.
Rich - you sound like someone who's never set foot inside a classroom.
My worst behaving students don't come from liberal homes. (Those would be my most free-thinking and kind-hearted students.) They don't come from conservative homes either. (Those would be rednecks.)
Ha Ha. I crack myself UP.
No, my problem children come from homes where there aren't positive role models, zero political knowledge and little or no religious belief. And hardly any support system. Parents usually worship at the altar of television and drug/alcohol abuse. And their kids are pretty pissed about it.
End of story.
I realize this is purely anecdotal evidence, but in my experience around parents - at my job where I get to see them every day but not have to directly interact with them - is that the parents driving the ginormous couchmobiles back to Casa Carajo are the ones doing some of the worst parenting. They're the ones constantly making excuses, constantly giving themselves and their children permission to ignore the rules "because they're special."
Entitled, spoiled gits is more like it. I see a lot of "conservatives" teaching this directly to their children by word or deed. Or at least I'm going to assume they're conservatives by the number of W and SUPPORT THE TROOPS or 911 HUNTING LICENSE stickers I see.
They have money, too, or they wouldn't have their kids in these classes.
I don't see this as a political issue, I think that was my initial point.
If we wanted to, we could try to make this argument about race, economics, politics or anything and they'd all be fundamentally flawed arguments.
Being a decent human being and a proper, functional member of society is not tied to any of those things. Quit making excuses for people, seriously.
kate n david,
Both valid points. I guess I have been focusing in on that issue, b/c thats how they seem to split in the people i know.
I would concur that the 3 worst kinds of kids are the:
spoiled priveleged kids that the parents let them get away with anything, b/c they're special
and
the parents that dont really parent at all, like the kids are nothing but a burden to them, so the kids are not given any direction, so they find horrible direction by themselves,
and
the parents that will never punish their child except with "timeouts" after 15 warnings, and just make excuses for their horrible behavior.
Kate, you are right, I have NEVER been inside a classroom. I also would never be inside a classroom unless i had NO other option. I would have to make over 100K to teach bratty kids. Just my personal opinion... plus parents would not want me to teach their children, b/c i would not want to be there.
I have, however, been to our church's kidcare thing, and have met many children of people we know from our church, and we all know that all of us use the discipline approach, and the kids are by and large VERY well behaved.
"You raise your kids for other people to enjoy. When other people enjoy your children it makes for a happy child." - Ida L. (R.I.P.)
As a Reading Specialist I have found that the majority of students labeled as having "reading problems" really have behavior problems at the root. Once the behavior is addressed and fixed the reading problems are easily remediated and the student can make dramatic gains.
Unfortunately its just easier to medicate the student and keep him in a "program".
Your response was hysterical. If only more teachers were as grounded. If only.
Holy crap ur a smart ass! I love it, I could have used you as a teacher when I was 15...oh wait no that was Debra Lafave I could have used when I was 15...sorry!
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