Making Love to Yourself - No Longer The Safest Sex

I try to take care of myself.

Exercise every day, plenty of water and rest, good amount of flax seeds, granola, yogurt and fiber in my diet. Soy protein? Check. Local and organic fruits and veggies? Double check. And I stay away from things that are bad for me, like meat, trans fats and Fox News.

Normally, if I discover something is hazardous to my emotional/physical health, after careful research, the product or activity lands on my boycott list.

Until now. Cause a girl's gotta draw the line somewhere.

Apparently my vast collection of love toys (seriously, Jenna Jameson would be impressed) could cause...not sure exactly.

In an effort to make the materials softer and more lifelike, PVC plastics
suppliers incorporate one or more members of a family of compounds called phthalates (FAY-lates). To hear some environmentalists
tell it, using a vibrator that includes phthalates is akin to bathing in DDT.

I'm beyond disappointed.

Granted, there are some companies out there making safe and environmentally friendly love toys. (Big fan!) But even they recommend using condoms to ensure good health when dildo-ing.

Umm, part of the fun of f*cking alone is not worrying about disease or pregnancy. And no commandments are being broken, which is always nice. Explore and enjoy, that's my motto. Now some goddamn treehuggers are taking the fun out of my favorite hobby, too.

And do you know how expensive it is to replace a closet full of toys for new ones made of silicone? More than a teacher's salary, I can tell you.

When I told Becky the bad news, she shrugged and said, "It'd only hurt your health if you do it a lot."

I whistled and stared at the ceiling. I'm in all kinds of trouble.

Oh well, gotta die of something I suppose.

h/t Sheila