Feed Your Pets - Leave Other Animals Alone

Everyone knows not to feed bears, mountain lions, and alligators. Because these animals begin to associate humans with food, lose their fear, and become aggressive. Then Dangerous Alligator eats Tony the Toddler and Bubba shows up with a shotgun - just in time for the Eleven O'Clock News.

Sure, a few idiots are entertained by such tragedy. However, by and large, most people stay away from wild and dangerous animals.

So I got a question for you:

Did you know you're also not supposed to feed *any* wild animals? That includes, but is not limited to, raccoons, seagulls, deer, squirrels, etc.

Did you know that if you continue to buy that extra loaf of bread for "the birdies", they will get fat and lazy and all of a sudden the fragile ecosystem is f*cked up with animals who've forgotten how to fend for themselves? Such animals are more likely to get sick and spread disease.

I understand, Assbag. You had no idea.

That's what I'm here for.

And when Deer and Company come to depend on humans for food, they march their happy asses into our neighborhoods looking for more tasty treats.

"Look, kids! Bambi! Isn't life in the Wild West just awesome?"

Any idea what kind of animals eat deer - especially fat deer? That's right - mountain lions and other predators march *their* happy asses into our neighborhoods as well.

And that pisses me off.

So put your bread away and leave wild life alone.

I've been here ten minutes and already I've figured this out.

What's your excuse?