A New Teacher in The Springs
If you're a liberal writer/political activist and ever decide to move to the militaristic, conservative, white as sour cream, evangelical capital of the world - here are ten things you should *never say* your first week as a new social studies teacher.
10. "Lovely classroom. Where should I put my Che poster?"
9. "I'd love some! Are you serving anything that didn't once take a poop?"
8. "Sure, I can turn it down. Rage Against the Machine isn't for everyone."
7. "This is a framed picture of my kids in the newspaper. Cute huh? Yeah. They were marching in a gay pride parade. With Uncle Rita."
6. "I appreciate it, but no thanks. Christ is not for me."
5. "This area of my classroom is called the Peaceful Protest corner where students meditate and learn about nonviolent ways to resolve conflict. So those military recruitment pamphlets will have to go elsewhere. No judgments, though. Want some couscous?"
4. "I stand *silently* for the Pledge of Allegiance. It's my thing."
3. "Well, that's the way we did it in Tampa. And Boston."
2. "Anyone else looking forward to a third season of Weeds?"
And the number one thing you shouldn't say...ever...
"Go on and Google me. I dare ya."
posted by kate @ 10:59 AM
12 comments
12 Comments:
So, does this mean you will be teaching?
Plants poop. Plants poop oxygen. That air you're breathing? Yeah, that's plant fart.
I like the Peaceful Protest corner, though, and am also looking forward to Weeds third season. :)
Weeds is gonna rock. I just know it.
And yes, I am back in the classroom.
Should of shown them the picture of you almost nude also. It's a shame you don't understand you are in the minority not the majority on most of these issues. I feel sorry for your students.
The local chamber of commerce should send you a thankful note along with some money.
I am packing up the baby and grabbing the old lady and moving to where you live
"Should of shown them the picture of you almost nude also."
It's should "have"...sounds like you could use a teacher like me, baby. In more ways than one.
Don't worry. I'll post another one, soon. After all, it's why you come back night after night after lonely, lonely night.
Kisses.
I know I always come back for the partial nudity and strong adult content.
You go girl!!!
Too funny.
I'm so glad I found you (and have no idea how I got here but here I am, nonetheless... I do the same thing on the freeway.)
You are funny as hell and I'm totally enjoying reading your blog in entirety. So far, I'm through July... 2007. I've clicked all the links and watched all the YouTube videos and laughed and cried.
Your post about the Chinese Zodiac and "beware the cock" cracked be up. Been there; done that, with three little boys and a nice little buffet we can no longer visit. *sigh* Of course, our boys loved calling me a pig and on the last occasion we were there, I was called "Grandma" by the dude behind me in the line to pay.
You are terrific.
To quote ol' Keith:
"I think I love you..."
;)
And, yeah, evidently this blog IS a chick magnet.
lol
Great post!
As a fellow Springs person I sympathize.
My kids are in D49, the one on the cover of the Gazette last week for banning teachers from showing movies in class.
I'm sooo proud of that school board I think I'll mail them pictures of famous naked statues.
You're not the only exasperated lib'rul in our fair city-actually, there are more registered democrats in El Paso County than in Boulder-it's just that there are a lot more Republicans! But there's a certain geographic separation-Dems tend to cluster in the older parts of the city, and conservative evangelicals tend to be in the newer suburbs. Think of liberals as Kurds,trying to escape from the dominant Shiites/Sunnis-just call us Baghdad in the Rockies.
Cakes - Numbers 4 and 5 made me laugh so haaaaard hummous came out my nose.
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