Thanks - For Not - Giving

Once, when I was around six years old, my mother got sick.

Really sick.

So she asked me to check on her every half-hour and if she didn't wake up, I was to call family members and maybe the doctor. Can't quite recall but it was something like that.

I was six.

So during commercial breaks, while watching The Brady Bunch, I checked on my mom. Didn't have to check more than twice because after about an hour or so, the doorbell rang. It was Aunt Marie.

She didn't need a phone call. She knew something was wrong. She knew she was needed. So she drove up to our house with her suitcase in hand and stayed until my mom's appendix was removed and we were okay on our own once again.

Or maybe it was Mom's gall bladder.

I don't know. I was six.

I use this story to illustrate the type of family I come from - there are a million such stories from which to choose.

But not everyone rolls this way.

For example, some of our relatives live on the East Coast of Florida. 'Bout three to five hours away from where we lived in Wesley Chapel. They've had some emergencies in the past.

Hurricanes.

Diseases.

Lonesome holidays.

Husband has responded by driving over there, sometimes at a moment's notice, to rescue and attend to the situation while I held down the fort and took care of the kids.

Cause we roll that way.

Other relatives lived closer to them and could have helped but we always stepped up to the plate. In return, we never really got gratitude or appreciation. More like such behavior was expected from us. Which is sort of a compliment, I suppose.

Sort of.

Between 2006-2007, I spent approximately fifteen months by myself. My parents helped me immensely, thank God, and Husband flew in once a month. Otherwise, I was a single parent for more than a year.

During which time I was hospitalized twice and almost died once. Recovery took more than a month and a half.

Guess how many times East Coast family members came calling to help? Guess how many times they drove up to visit with my children, run errands, or simply hold my hand?

None.

Zero.

Nada.

In their defense, there *were* some important football games on during that time. Plus a Mah Jongg tournament or two.

It's all good. Some just don't roll that way.

Now they wanna know if we can, oh, I don't know, rent a car or borrow one. After we fly all the way from Colorado to Tampa. When we're home for Thanksgiving. To haul our happy asses another five hours and drive down south to see them.

Long pause.

Did we:

a) agree to inconvenience someone by using their car, sacrifice seeing people who care, to spend a fortune on gas and make the drive?

b) politely decline but suggest *they* come see *us* and then wait for pigs to fly?

c) laugh so hard we sh*t ourselves and then hung up the phone?

One guess.