What's Up With The Aarons In This Town?

In some sort of vain attempt to convert this strange location into my beloved home - I hung out the other night with an organized group of young, Jewish professionals.

I know. I'm not young. I'm not professional. But I play the part.

Plus I'm Jewish. With a winning smile. And since there are only a handful of us in The Springs, I thought, beggars can't be choosers. Either way.

One of the YPs mentioned an annual tradition round these parts called Mountain Minyan - a gathering of singing, praying, happy Rosh Hashanah celebrants where, I don't know, bears are allowed to join in the fun.

Bears love honey after all.

Out of the blue, a guy sitting next to me grumbled,

"No thanks. Bunch of crunchy, granola types holding hands? Not for me."

I immediately smiled. Nothing like a Rush-quoting right-winger to make this gloomy girl from Florida feel at home.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Aaron."

"Of course it is. I bet you have bad taste in t-shirts too."

Aaron and I became fast friends. Brotherman graduated from West Point a few years back and recently returned from a tour in Iraq.

"How'd it go?" I asked.

"Great," Aaron said.

"You've been there," I said. "You've looked around. What do *you* think the solution is?"

"Well," Aaron said, "the solution is simple. We need to nuke the place. Every man, woman, and child should be wiped off the face of the earth."

I sipped my Mojito and said what any other engaging young professional with a winning smile might say in a similar situation.

"Tell me more."

"You see, it might sound wrong, but it's true. Not a single Iraqi is worth an American life. Not even collectively are they worth one American life. So I think we should blow 'em off the face of the earth."

I've learned that nodding encourages crazy talk. So I kept nodding.

"I mean, think about it. Those people haven't contributed a single thing of worth. Not one benefit to the planet."

"Okay," I said. "Neither has Wisconsin. Should we blow them up, too?"

Dude actually considered it.

We talked about a lot that night. And by *we*, I mean *he*.

Iran (should be nuked as well), algebra (proof Arabs are f*cked), the upcoming elections (can't work for Hillary), Judaism (Orthodox is preferred, Conservative will do - don't get him started on Reform) and how a nice Jersey Jew like him turned into a fundamentalist Christian type. You know. Except he isn't Christian.

It's not every day a liberal gets to sit next to someone who's either gonna go one way, kill lots of people and wind up in jail or go the other way, kill lots of people and wind up a decorated war hero.

Depends on who writes the script.

Seriously. This is one crazy town.