Democratic Dinner or Race Riot - You Decide

This was a social gathering I could get behind.

Latinos yelling at African-Americans yelling about who's really repressed.

White guys yelling that "this meeting has a (g*ddamn) moderator" and to "sit (your ass) down". To no one in particular.

Bob Null (andvoid) - Candidate for District 11 School Board - yelling at everyone that he's a registered Republican and to back off. Cause he's not so bad.

Allison Hunter, president and (g*ddamn) moderator, yelling that passionate debate is good - but could we please calm down before someone calls the cops on our asses.

I'm paraphrasing.

And then there's me. Yelling at my children to chew with their mouths closed. At least fifteen times.

Let's back up.

The El Paso Dems had their $10 all-you-can-eat pizza/pasta buffet last night. As I walked in, I noticed an extra-large crowd. More than a few of Hispanic descent and I couldn't help but wonder if the guest speaker on immigration was the reason for their sudden interest.

But who am I to judge? I show up for the pasta. And the hopes that someone will give *me* a free glass of wine.

We introduced ourselves and right away I recognized two of the four candidates I endorsed for District 11. As well as two candidates I called "a bit backwards."

Awkward.

But none of them read my sh*t. I'm safe for at least a year before I become overrated. And a superstar. So I ate my pizza in peace.

Homeboy from Immigration Enforcement Unit stood up and started talking about human trafficking and the sex trade. Nothing says family time like discussing underage prostitutes, but my seven year-olds were preoccupied with inhaling plates of complex carbohydrates. They didn't hear me whisper, "Breathe!", much less Officer Todd's energetic tutorials on blood in strange places.

Then the Latinos (who only had accents when they said the word Latinos) went all apesh*t on Todd.

My favorite was the guy in a purple dress shirt, reeking of Old Spice and a thinly-veiled superiority complex, calling:

Todd - a liar.
Immigration enforcement - institutionalized racism and pissing in the wind.
Those who disagree - idiots.

I try not to pay attention to elderly men who still wear mousse. Plus the garlic bread was out of this world.

An audience member who wasn't drinking Crazy Juice asked Officer Todd what we could do to help. He told us to view with suspicion any group of young girls, who should be in school, but were instead traveling with older men. Often they are kept in suburban homes with lots of male visitors.

Some bimbo in the back shouted, "Don't you really mean we should look out for cars full of Mexicans?"

Right.

The Mexicans had Mexicans on the brain. They wouldn't shut up about themselves.

Finally, the air thick with nastiness and too many "my people were wronged worser than your people" nonsense, I turned my baby blues to Officer Todd and raised my hand.

"As a lifelong Democratic activist," I said, "I am constantly dismayed at events where my fellow Democrats are hostile to soldiers and police officers and officials of authority. As a teacher, I too am told that we're part of the problem, we're not doing what we should, and that we're never going to make a difference. And I'm sick of it.

As an officer of the law, you work under tremendous pressure, in a thankless job, with levels of danger that I can't even comprehend. And so I think it's important that you hear a liberal Democrat say: Thank you."

Two people clapped. I was high for five minutes.

Almost turned to the Latinos and said, "Put that in your mojitos and slurp 'em down, b*tches. Next time - show some g*ddamn respect."

But I'm trying to make friends. And score some free wine.

That Allison. She throws a hell of a party.