Regarding the Violence Yesterday in Cleveland
Instead of the gunman and his parents *exclusively*...
I might just stroke out.
Right here.
In front of everyone.
posted by kate @ 10:41 AM
10 comments
Out in Left Field
Where parenting and politics meet, but don't always play nice.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
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10 Comments:
Parents are always responsible, in some way, for these kinds of events. Just as they are responsible when their kids do great, because parents are the child's first teachers. That's the deal when you sign on for parenthood. Plain and simple. How did this kid get a gun? Did he go to a store to purchase it? Unlikely, he was 14, right? Was it locked up properly and safely? Just questions I have since I have not fully read about nor seen on the news, the details surrounding this tragedy.
I have heard that he had a myspace site or whatever that gave a pretty good description of himself and his thoughts and actions.
It must have been prophetic, but it's gone now.
Maybe if we could have wiretapped him, we could have jumped in and saved the terror he was planning.
My point is we have wrong doing by parents and kids every day. It's next to us. We hear about it. We read myspace blogs about. It's in our schools around our kids all the time.
Where is the reponsibility of the kids and the adults that know all about what is going on BEFORE the violence.
We the people can be responsible for the welfare of society all the way to the point that violence occurs, and then suddenly we opt out.
Ok - let me hear it.
WMD wrote: at the same time we do not hold other kids and parents exclusively responsible for their tragic situations?
Like what?
I'm not sure how I'm opting out. My point is that when a kid shoots up a school - we ought to look at his parents. They are brought to court if their kid doesn't show up for class? How about if their kid shows up for class with a gun? Why are they not charged for that as well?
Makes zero sense.
I thought I was responsible for other's reproductive organs, their offspring, and their budget.
No problem. But I can't throw them under the bus just because the kid thinks he is owed something, get's pissed and starts shooting.
According to what I read, other kid's knew he had a gun and "tried to report it to the authorities" last week.
Since the girl that reported it is still living, we now know.
How ironic would it have been if the gunkid had killed the girl who knew. She couldn't have gone on national TV this morning to report she had "told someone".
If I, or my child, heard one of my peer's student was talking about his gun, hated authority figures, has a history of anti-social behavior -especially related to school, had a website that predicted violence, and gets expelled, do I just keep to myself and say: "it's the kid and his parent's responsibility exclusively".
If a kid says "I don't want to go to school, you made me, I got harassed and now you are going to pay", what do we do?
If I am going to be responsible for the welfare of our society, I can't pick and choose what I am responsible for.
The only thing wrong with mass murder/suicides is the sequence.
This was not an accident. It was not a reflexive action.
The kid was in an alternative school. I assume he was receiving related services that met the needs of his disability. So we would assume, with the reported history, that individual counseling and family counseling was written in his IEP.
I can assume there were goals and objectives that were aimed at increasing his social skills and developing his self esteem.
I can assume that a school wide positive behavioral support plan was written and followed by the teachers and the administrators.
Since he was in high school, we can rest assured that he was getting the necessary related services for years.
It's way too late, and easy, to only hold the parent and the kid responsible after the fact.
Teachers do have a responsibility to report kids who are a danger to themselves or others. Most teachers take this responsibility seriously, especially in this day and age.
And I never said otherwise.
But if we are to assign blame - that kid had problems that started way before he entered high school. Before he entered middle school. Before he entered elementary school even.
And if children are to be helped, it's better that the abuse or neglect they suffer at home not start at all. That's not easy. But that's the way it is.
Ok, Kate, you're gonna love me for this one:
While I do think children and their parents are ultimately responsible for horrible actions such as this, I also believe that sometimes a parent's actions are null and void.
You do your best, try to instill good values/morals/beliefs, and then you pray. Some kids listen to every word and follow them, some kids listen but have to learn the hard way, and I really believe some kids just have bad wiring and will always make horrible choices. Unfortunately, those horrible choices now include pumping someone else full of bullets.
Alternatively, we have completely dysfunctional people spawning completely dysfunctional kids.
Yes, he pulled the trigger, but in a society where violence is glorified, can you really put all the blame a screwed up kid and his (probably) screwed up parents? I don't think so.
Or, maybe he was a Boy Scout. ;-)
Becky, I see your point. A couple weeks ago I commented about the latest (violent) Pirates movie, and how there were more than a few kids watching it in the theatre with us, including toddlers. Kids see so much violence so young nowadays. I don't get parents. They are sometimes a mess themselves and don't see just how much damage they are doing to our most precious little people. Sad.
Oh funny girl. Boy Scout...
We're not talking about kids who simply make bad choices here. We're talking about someone who reacted to stress, issues, problems with extreme violence. That violence was most assuredly learned or tolerated at home. I've yet to hear of any *kid* who was raised with effective parents who turned to violence at such a young age.
Too many parents do a piss poor job and then say, "But I did my best and prayed" as a LAME LAME LAME copout.
And Asa's older brother was arrested for parole violation.
Too bad the gunman didn't wipe out the entire gene pool.
kssis - Thanks for proving my point. Who allowed those kids to see the movie? Piss poor parents.
And they wonder why their kids are f*cked.
There is a pretty good chance that if they are dysfunctional with their reproductive organs, their education, and their budget, they are going to be dysfunctional with their prayers.
Praying for the latest technology gadget so their kid will be happy may not be what any one's diety is about.
Obviously the teachers and administrators missed, or ignored, all the signs. When will our schools wake up???
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