Flat, My Ass
University of South Florida
Fraternity Party
1992
Katie and Julie walk through the crowd.
Julie: What's wrong?
Katie: Some guy just called me a flat ass.
Julie: Oh yeah? Better than fat ass.
Several friends called me out last week during my Tour of Tampa. Kept making fun of my tushie, folks. Said it needed certain plumping exercises ("I must, I must, I must increase my...butt?") or just a better pair of jeans.
This is what's commonly referred to as: a recurring theme.
Nothing about me is flat. Tiny, maybe. But not flat.
Perfect just the way it is.
Whether standing or lying down with a good book.
Okay. Now that we've established the ass itself is not the problem, I'm going with the idea that I've been wearing the wrong sort of jeans for the past fifteen years. And motherhood has not improved my sensibility.
A buddy sent me this video on the epidemic.
Oprah even devoted an entire show to Mom Jeans and my sister once sent me a website on jeans for "my body type."
Okay, folks, I get the hint. I need some decent denim for my bottom. Cause apparently I'm not doing it justice. According to, like, everyone I know.
Intervention, over. I'm going shopping next week.
3 Comments:
gross.
Can't wait for the picture of that one. Side view please!!
ummm, where the hell is the "tushie 1" photo?
Post a Comment
<< Home