Fun Conversations With Co-Workers (Part One)
Let’s review.
I’m a Jewish, vegetarian liberal who’s been known to frequent nudist colonies and meditate like a Buddha.
I teach high school with people who attend New Life Church, enjoy rodeos, and pray for my soul on a daily basis.
Makes for interesting conversations.
Conversations that drive me crazy.
Co-Worker #1 and I have talked about everything from abortion to whales. I don’t know why. He passes my classroom and feels the need to debate. Worried about my soul and all. He votes Republican, thinks Dick Cheney is a decent fellow, and wants everyone to talk with the Lord at least once a week.
Here is an excerpt from one of our conversations today.
Student: How does David Blaine do that stuff?
Me: Speaking of David Blaine, have you seen that video making fun of him? Hysterical.
Student: I love that video!
Co-Worker #1: There’s an aura around David Blaine that I’m so uncomfortable with…
(Wait for it. Want it.)
Co-Worker #1: He’s evil.
Me: (Laughing so hard that gum flies out of my mouth.) Seriously? Is this something you came up with on your own or did you hear it in church last Sunday?
Co-Worker #1: I came up with it on my own. But my wife agrees with me.
Me: Well, I’m so glad you two found each other.
(long pause)
Me: So let me get this straight. Dick Cheney heads up Halliburton, which poisons people with asbestos and profits from the war, lies to get us into the war with Iraq and then lies about lying. A catastrophe that continues to cost soldiers their lives. Cheney is also trying to get us into a war with Iran. And he's a good guy. But that Jewish illusionist who holds his breath under water – that guy's evil?
Co-Worker #1: That pretty much sums it up.
Me: I’m going to go hang myself now.
What the f*ck am I doing in Colorado Springs?
posted by kate @ 11:25 PM
10 comments
10 Comments:
The military brought my Jewish-liberal family to Colorado Springs. I know exactly how you feel.
Fear of the unknown and the ability to explain the unknown are the roots of all religion. Explaining most unknowns away as "evil" has been relied upon to quell the small minded masses for eons. Sadly this form of comfort lives on, and unfortunately for you thrives in the Springs.
Ex. 20:16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
Now I'm no scholar on the good book, but I always thought that this covers lying. How does this square with co-worker #1 and his pass for Dick?
Easily.
Ahh, the convenience of selective hypocrisy.
I talk with the Lord on a regular basis and he is not a big fan of either Cheney or Blaine, but would much rather we solve our own issues as he doesn't want to micromanage.
I just haven't had the same experience in CS. I must live in a completely different part of town... or I don't get out enough! Or worse yet, maybe I'm more conservative than I thought!
It doesn't sound like you're making much of an effort to fit in .. have you considered wearing more frocks? Calico would be nice.
:-)
-- Chase
This comment has been removed by the author.
Your co-workers are why I am an atheist.
Your co-workers are why I am an atheist.
>>So let me get this straight. Dick Cheney heads up Halliburton, which poisons people with asbestos and profits from the war, lies to get us into the war with Iraq and then lies about lying. A catastrophe that continues to cost soldiers their lives. Cheney is also trying to get us into a war with Iran.<<
See, that would have been the place and time where I was laughing so hard that gum flew out of *my* mouth.
rw, there you are!
I've been looking for you for days, and here you are dicking around with liberal bloggers!
You owe me money and I need it now!
and don't make me remind you why
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