"Why is he talking in slow motion?"

Years ago, while working in Boston, I had a friend named Dan Dangler.

I know. Porn name.

Anyway, one day, Dan was talking about a game that he, his wife, and several couple friends had played the night before.

The object of Scruples is to ask the participants questions and hopefully their answers would match your answer card: yes, no, or depends. If their answer matched, then you got rid of the question. If they didn't, you had to pick a new question. The first person to get rid of all their question cards won.

Dan said one of the questions had caused a horrific argument and they had to put the game away: If you discovered your spouse once had an affair with a member of the same sex, early in your relationship, would you contemplate divorce?

Apparently the women said, "Of course." The men said, "No, we'd ask you to invite her back."

Sounds about right.

I immediately wanted Scruples for my very own. Unfortunately, every game store in Boston said the same thing: "We got rid of Scruples because people kept returning it. Caused too many fights."

Best. Sales pitch. Ever.

I so wanted this game.

A few of our friends had similar stories about arguments and bad feelings when trying to get through a Scruples Game Night. They warned me to stick to Trivial Pursuit instead.

Amateurs.

A year ago, Husband found the game online and bought it for me. On New Years Eve, we played Scruples for the first time with friends Aaron and Melissa.

We're still friends today.

Here's the deal - you have to play with people who are open-minded, easy-going, and tipsy. Some sample questions:

You are in a drugstore and notice a twenty dollar bill on the floor. Do you keep it? (Aaron - "Depends. Is it a small store or a big store? Security guards? Oprah Show cameras? I'll return it if I'm going to be featured on YouTube.")

Browsing in an 'adult store' at lunch hour, you witness a colleague buying a large inflatable woman. Do you mention it to co-workers? (Melissa - "Yes." (long pause) "Would I have to mention that I was in the store, too?")

Your brother is engaged to marry someone who you think is bad news. He's in love. Do you try to reason with him? (Husband - "Yes. Although my brother would probably say, 'Third time's a charm'.")

You're in charge of a stakeout for a rapist. At the risk of tipping off the rapist, do you warn women in the neighborhood of the danger? (Me - "No. We catch the son of a bitch and string him up by the balls. More wine please.")

Rapists, sex toys, and ethical issues. Good times.

We played three or four rounds and laughed so hard water came out of Melissa's nose. Twice. We learned a lot. For example, Aaron was a ladies' man before he got married and his hair fell out. He'd also help just about anyone - including a boring old man who's talking about fruit flies. Melissa would turn in an elderly woman who stole some bacon, but she would allow her kids to give away lemonade to thirsty joggers. I'd fire an ugly anchorwoman to bring in more viewers but wouldn't sell a historical building no matter how much money was offered. Husband wouldn't tell potential buyers that the neighbors were loud, but he'd go broke burying his painintheass father wherever his painintheass father wished to be buried.

What other game do you learn about your friends, how long it took for them to have sex, their thoughts regarding stale bread in a restaurant all while drinking two bottles of wine and some champagne?

Better than watching Dick Clark, people. Seriously. That dude is scary.

Who wants to play next weekend?