My Caucus

Twenty-one Democrats in my precinct attended the Colorado Caucus last night.

The last time a caucus was held, two people showed up. Therefore, twenty-one is considered a success.

Really, it’s a failure.

Back in Wesley Chapel, my home for almost six years, we had similar numbers of demoralized and conservative-Christian-fearing progressives. In our 2004 Democratic Primary, 150 voters came out and pulled the lever for their favorite candidate.

A pathetically low number, but better than the numbers here.

Voter turnout is one important reason we should do away with the caucus system and hold primaries instead. Primary voters get an entire day in which to take part in a process that lasts only a few minutes. In a caucus, interested party members must arrive on time for the 7pm straw poll or miss out entirely. Then they get to spend another hour or two listening to their neighbors argue over resolutions and whether Ernie the Neighborhood Drunk is fit to be an election judge.

After a long day of working and/or taking care of the kids, how happy do you think people were to crowd into a smelly classroom, sit and stare at me while I carried the nine and counted my toes trying to make the numbers come together on my Delegate Math Work Sheet?

Other friends who were stuck at more crowded caucuses had similar stories of tension and boredom.

One co-worker had to pay $22 for the privilege of volunteering as a delegate to the county assembly. That’s what she gets for registering Republican. I told her to cheer up; maybe she’ll get to kick Doug Bruce once for all of us.

An especially fun moment occurred when caucus-goers realized the straw poll wasn’t binding.

“You mean a delegate can attend the county assembly and stand for someone else? What’s to stop one of you from supporting Obama here tonight and then voting for Ralph Nader?”

What’s stopping me? Ummm. How about healthy brain cells and a bit of integrity?

Another co-worker told me about angry Edwards supporters who just couldn’t accept the fact that he’s no longer a viable option. Another colleague mentioned long-winded Ron Paul enthusiasts who wanted to argue until midnight because “this event should mean something more important than getting home in time to watch The Colbert Report.”

However, today our caucus is a thing of the past. Barack Obama and Mitt Romney won – which explains a lot about Colorado. Perhaps we’d have the same outcome if we were a primary state. Nevertheless, holding primaries is a more democratic way to ensure that as many as possible are involved in the process.

Of course, if Ernie the Drunk could fit a 7pm caucus into his busy schedule, what’s your excuse?