Turns Out I’m An Inmigrant. Who Knew?

Disclosure: I write speeches and presentations for people with great ideas who don’t want the audience to fall asleep. So there’s that.

Thursday night, I ventured out to Bambino’s for dinner with my fellow Dems.

Remember what happened the last time I went to one of Allison’s meetings?

Right. I’m still trying to block it out.

Anyway, I avoided cheese and dirty looks and tried to enjoy myself. Glass of wine and someone mentioned they liked my site.

Good start.

Dave Gardner got up and gave an interesting talk about sustainability.

And when I say “interesting” think “Ben Stein on downers.”

Actually, Dave’s presentation wasn’t bad. Just dry. No rock and roll or double-entendres that make me get all perky and alert. Instead, Dave talked about growth and how the incentives given by local government to entice more people into this area are dooming us to disaster. I know, right? Thank God I had wine.

Plus, if we don’t act now, soon we’ll run out of water. And won’t that suck?

I would have applauded Dave’s courage to take on the folks migrating here from other parts of the country, but oh wait.

He’s talking about me.

Me.

So that makes me, umm, part of the problem.

Not that I’m offended. Actually, quite the opposite. I’d love to leave. And I’m working on it. But for now…how can I rail against growth without someone calling me a hypocrite and asking, “What about you, b*tch?”

Let’s face it. I’ve got enough problems.

Regardless, I’m on Dave’s side. Although, I would argue that Dave should “Michael Moore” it up just a bit with some humor and sarcasm.

Big fan.

Or maybe he should show off his legs. Sex sells after all.

If someone like me – a pseudo-vegan raising two vegetarians who walks to work every day, recycles and switched to green lightbulbs long ago – if I’m nodding off during his presentation, how in the hell are we going to get neocon, rightwing, meateating, Neanderthals on our side?

I hear Neanderthals like them some legs. So there’s that.