When Is a Friendship Over?

I was talking with a girlfriend back in Tampa and she mentioned that one of her oldest friends had seemed to be drifting away from her for some time.

"Then two weeks ago we stopped talking altogether," she said with a shrug, "and so I suppose it's over."

Far from an authority on how to end acquaintances, I rather stink at it. Not counting the plethora of doomed alliances in high school and college, I simply don't let most people go nowadays. I meet wonderful folks wherever the wind takes me and hold on for life.

There are only a few exceptions to that rule. Recently I discovered that a good friend had made some seriously bad decisions and, although I won't reach out to tell him not to ever talk to me again, I seriously hope he does not. His lapses in judgment were that bad.

But more often than not, I keep in touch with the planet. And it seems to me that two weeks of silence is not reason enough to end a friendship.

Case in point - an old friend from Boston stopped emailing me back about a year and a half ago. No explanation, really, I just stopped hearing from him. Once quite close, after moving back to Tampa we'd email one another every other month or so. Therefore it was concerning, but not jarring, to lose touch completely. I would still email him - nothing confrontational, just pictures or the occasional joke - every once in a while. Because I can't help myself.

Few weeks ago, I finally got a response back. Seems his wife had been battling quite a serious illness. This old friend wrote me a lengthy email, explaining all his family had been through this past year, and how he looks forward to seeing me and my brood this summer.

I'm glad I never stopped reaching out.

Don't get me wrong - if I were under the impression that a previously close friend was backing off, I'd let him or her go. I'd stop the phone calls and emails altogether. Like my old friend Sharon used to say,

"Drop the reigns and let the horse keep on trottin'."

I don't chase anyone.

But instead of changing my number and moving on, I like remaining open and available. Feels better than ending a relationship.

Because you never know the dramas in a person's life. Or what role you'll play when they're ready to stage a comeback.