According to Each Child's Needs

One of my online buddies recently posted about his own quandary and it hit home. Like me, Dave's trying to decide between public and private school for his kids. For the last five years, I've taught in public schools and so I've listened to arguments for and against all the different choices regarding how to educate one's children.

Everyone has an opinion, but none matter and here's why. When deciding which school to send your kids, only you can know for sure what your children need. And to hell with what everyone else thinks.

What are the arguments for a public school education? Several people, teachers and parents alike, say that those educated in public schools are more well-rounded and learn better how to tackle problems independently.

What a load of rubbish.

Do these people actually know anyone educated in a private school setting? I know a few and they are delightful, smart, and tolerant. Some are self-important, but let's face it, snobs can be found anywhere - from prep schools to the AP classes at your local high school. Let's not pretend otherwise.

I went to public schools my entire life, but the reason I am strong and independent has to do with my DNA (Nana's in there somewhere) and the women in my life (Mom's strength, Aunt Mimi's mouthiness, and the hurricane-force that is Aunt Jeanne). I am the way I am because of those influences, not because of anything a teacher or bully ever taught me.

Not to diminish the importance of a good education, I just learned more about how to deal with differences and life's difficulties around the kitchen table every night, not behind a desk during the day.

I'm also not convinced that public schools offer real life experiences. I've worked full-time since the age of sixteen. Never have I been made to endure sexual harrassment, bullies, or physical assault in the workplace. I would never, ever put up with such nonsense. How can I ask my children to put up with it?

Such daily drama encourages bitterness, not strength.

What do your children need? That's the question to be answered.

If they benefit from a strong religious household with dedicated and self-motivated parents, perhaps homeschooling is the way to go. I've seen it work wonders with kids who have a habit of hanging with the wrong crowd. There are also dozens of activities homeschooled kids can attend at the local public school or YMCA to encourage good social skills.

Are your family's morals and values represented in a nearby school that is a comfortable and safe haven in which to learn? Then that parochial school would be the best choice.

If your kids are shy, closed-off, in need of special attention, or easy-going and relaxed or gifted and talented (God help you) - perhaps a public school is best.

Since my kids were two and a half years old, they've needed structure, organization, and discipline. They are the types of kids who respond well to order and supervision, an environment that calls for academic and athletic excellence.

Plus I like uniforms. Zero tolerance policy for behavior issues that get in the way of learning. That sort of thing.

I know, gulp. A Catholic or Jewish day school is looking like the best option for the Robinson boys. Public school fanatics? Your answer simply doesn't work for everyone.

Handle it.