I've Got Some Good News and Some Bad News

The other day, Oldest had a sore neck. Slept on it wrong or something. He complained about his neck for a few minutes so I gave him love and an ice pack. Then he complained some more. And some more.

Time for tough love.

"You sound like an old Jewish man," I said. "You do have some Irish in ya. The Irish don't complain. Remember that."

So this post is not a complaint.

For those who've been reading awhile, you know I added dead fishies to my vegan diet in a totally unscientific experiment aimed at raising my platelet count. For the past few years, I've battled ITP. But last year, my little whipper snappers had been multiplying. My numbers were getting better and better. Recently they started to dive. A few people thought protein in my diet might help and I was willing to try.

Visited Hot Hematologist yesterday and my numbers are still low.

So the experiment didn't work. Which means I'll go back to my cruelty-free ways.

There is an upside to this - I will likely lose the five pounds I've gained these past eight weeks. I can say goodbye to fish breath, yucky aftertaste, and mercury in my bloodstream. I can also go back to the quiet superiority we vegans secretly feel.

Over all of you.

A part of me is bummed. On some level, I know we can only do so much regarding our health. We can eat right. Exercise. Meditate and yoga it up and practice positive thinking. But we can't do anything about environmental factors or our DNA.

And that's sorta scary. To a control freak and health nut like me.

Healthy platelets are around 250. My normal spectrum these past few years started at 66 and went up to 101. I'm now down to 67. The only side effect is that I bruise easily. Not so bad. But there's nothing I can do to bring up my numbers. And there's nothing I can do if they get lower.

Those with really low numbers bleed internally and then that's all folks.

Although I'd like to see my children graduate from college, I'm not afraid to die. If I found out this week was it, I wouldn't change a thing about my diet, my loves, my heartbreaks, my life. Carpe diem and all that nonsense.

Well, maybe I'd go buy a new Rabbit.

I'm just struck by the randomness of it all. Humbled that nothing is promised except for right f*cking now. Blessed that I get a reminder to cherish those who stand by me. To spread some love - with a side of sass - and laugh just a little bit harder every day. As I stared at the stars last night and my little boys in bed, I felt nothing but gratitude for such a reminder. Because time is leading us all somewhere. And the journey is precious.

Maybe that's why I'm not complaining.