Why I Don't Miss Teaching

I've returned to the business world and couldn't be happier with my decision. Why? Because...

- when I gotta go, I gotta go. A college-educated woman shouldn't have to wait forty-five minutes for a bell to ring before she has to fight her way through hundreds of teenagers to urinate quickly and then rush back through those same teenagers in order to get to class on time.

- the pay is awful. At my new job, one of the guys told me to be patient because I might not make six figures for another year or so. Another year or so? Do you know how long it'd take me to make six figures as a teacher? Try never.

- if I need to call in sick, I don't have to worry about some weird substitute letting my students watch The Exorcist.

- I could do without hate mail, prank calls, and letters to the editor screaming about liberals in the classroom. Now I'm allowed to wear bikinis and write about love toys with little or no ramifications. Freedom never felt so free.

Do I miss anything about teaching? Yes. I miss...

- sparking a student's interest in current events.

- helping kids who need it.

- my girls. The special ed department at my last high school is filled with the best, most professional and supportive women I've ever had the pleasure to be around.

The rest of it wasn't so bad either. Gave me plenty to write about. And my memoir's almost finished...