Don't Forget to Vote

I'll do anything to get an "I Voted" sticker for my bustier. Check it.

3:30pm - Arrive at Jimmie B. Keel Library . Stop at Obama table and request Jimmy Buffet tickets. "They're free, right?" Volunteer Gestapo snorts. By the time she's done with me, I've promised to canvass, make phone calls, wave signs, and buy someone in the Tampa office two drinks on Election Night. When walking away, Oldest says, "Nothing is ever free, Mommy. Not even love. I learned that at school last week."

3:32pm - McCain supporter yells, "There's only one hero on the ticket, sweetheart! Vote for McCain!" Youngest says, "Right. That's gonna happen." Oldest rolls his eyes. When did they become teenagers?

3:35pm - Get in line and kids complain they're thirsty.

4pm - Still in line. Children bored and asking questions like: "What happens if there's a tie?" "How will Barack Obama know he's the winner?" and "Does your body ever run out of spit?"

4:30pm - Still in line. Oldest has to pee. I send them into the library together. Rest of line grateful.

5:00pm - Search for children who are playing computer game where George Bush is selling hot dogs on Pennsylvania Avenue. It's the only job he can get after January. Whoever makes the most hot dogs in a minute wins and gets to bop Bush on the head. Kids try to convince me it's *educational*.

5:30pm - Finally up to vote. Boys color in the ovals so they can "help hire the President and all those other guys."

5:32pm - Oldest accidentally colors in "yes" for Amendment 2. "Who are you working for?" I demand to know. Kid swears it's an accident. I'm still skeptical.

5:35pm - Try to scan in the ballot, which is rejected. Volunteer looks at me like I'm special needs. "You can't fill in both yes and no, ma'am." I wrinkle my nose. He says, "You can either get a new ballot or this amendment vote won't count." I look at Oldest. "It had to be 2, huh? Not Soil Conservation. Or the property tax amendment. Had to be 2."

5:37pm - Request a new ballot. Ask if new kid comes with it. Volunteer rolls his eyes. "Was it the President ballot or the Amendment ballot?" I mumble, "Amendment 2." I get a new ballot and go to our table. Children pissing and moaning about *hunger pangs.*

5:38pm - Amendment 2 isn't on the ballot they printed for me. Volunteer scowls. "Amendment 2 is on the Presidential ballot, ma'am. I'm going to print this out for you, but you better be careful. Three is your limit." Great. Dude sounds like my bartender.

5:45pm - Finally leave polling place. Rest of line grateful. Kids want to do this "online from now on."


If you vote with your children, you can take their stickers, too. Cause you'll have earned them.

Have fun. And do your part.