I Don't Want a Doctor Who Believes in a Talking Snake

If there are people out there who think we left all the loo-loos back in Colorado Springs, think again. They're everywhere, folks. Even in beautiful downtown Lutz.

Took my children to the doctor recently and he noticed their school shirts. Started quizzing them on Hebrew and the bullet points of certain Biblical stories.

"Are you Jewish?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "No, but I take Hebrew lessons at my church. I'm fascinated by you Jews. In fact, I take my family to the Holy Land all the time. We love it there. Have you ever been?"

I blinked a few times. "As a matter of fact, I have been to Israel."

"No, not Israel. I mean the Holy Land Experience in Orlando."

I threw up a little in my mouth.

"It's better than Disney World," he said.

Dr. Crazypants went on to explain. That this is a good time.


Right.

This is normal, family fun.


Right.

Needless to say, I'm looking for a new pediatrician. One who isn't certifiably, batshit insane.