A Facebook Conversation - Ongoing

The family and I took a little road trip. To Scranton. Pennsylvania. In the wintertime.

My cousin got married a few months back and so we're going to celebrate his nuptials with big to-do tonight at the Parish Center. In Scranton. Pennsylvania.

On the way, while reading, listening to music, yelling at my children to pipe down, and checking email - I made it a point to update my status periodically on Facebook.

'Cause I'm a multi-tasking queen. Here is a conversation I had with a couple of my closest online buddies. (I took out all references to porn. 'Cause I'm a lady, as well.)

Catherine is packing and getting ready for the big road trip in the morning.

Julie: PLEASE drive safe and don't talk to strangers - don't even look at them!!!

Brother: Took a look down a northbound road. Right away I made my choice. Headed out to my big four-wheeler. I was tired of my own voice. Took a beat on the northern plains. And just rolled that power on...

Husband: Is that Springsteen?

Julie: I don't get it.

Brother: Roll Me Away. Good road trip song. Don't get me wrong, Julie. Bob Seger is no Whitesnake...or any other shit you rolled to in the 80's.

Julie: I am so feeling right at home!!! Thank you!!! Whitesnake is Cathy. I can't even name a song they sang. BUT, I do love that you remember the good old days!!!

Catherine is thinking that maybe soy nog and brandy isn't the best drink when trying to pack for an early mornin' shove off.

Dalia: Too bad you can't swing thru Jersey on the way home.

Catherine is roadtrippin' it to Raleigh. Call me if something comes up!

Brother: Your friend Julie sent me a Facebook Friend Request. Funny, after all these years, chick still wants me.

Becky: Safe trip you guys! Have fun!

Catherine is eating apples at Burger King where pics of local hero Ray Miley killing bears hang. Love it.

Sister: Yeah, but isn't it cool that BK has apple slices?

Catherine is amazed. If you roll down the window in South Carolina, you can actually smell racism. And SuperDave's feet.

Chase: And yet, isn't Florida where the largest Confederate Flag flies, right in your city, if I'm not mistaken ... get over it, Florida's no better. Ever been to east Pasco?

John: She lived in Wesley Chapel and lives currently in Lutz Chase, I figure she knows to one degree or another that Florida isn't far from "Deliverance."

Ron: Paddle faster, I hear banjo music!!

Chase: I'm aware of that John, my point is that pointing a finger at South Carolina is a bit ironic, considering Florida's own issues. Racism is everywhere, I would say there are parts of South Carolina where it's rampant, and parts where it's not, just like any state.

Sara: Tell the Old Ball Coach the Hawkeyes are going to hand it to them on the 1st! And then run like hell...safely of course.

Catherine is leaving Raleigh with a chill in the air and the car until Husband gets some coffee.

Catherine is listening to Snoop and reading Stephen Colbert's book somewhere in Virginia. Hope we don't get shot.

Catherine is in Philadelphia. Smells delightful.

Catherine about to walk the streets of Philadelphia and spread some brotherly love.

Adam: Remember that the guy sitting on the steam vent isn't Santa, so don't let the kids sit on his lap.

Catherine is eating at The Plough. Free booze. May never leave.

Husband: FREE? Who said I'm payin'?

Becky: C'mon, you know we make you guys pay for it one way or another...

Catherine is going to see The Liberty Bell and Independence Hall this morning. Hope we don't get jumped by those burly Homeland Security guards.

Adam: ahhh...nothing like an afternoon filled with tourist-centered revisionist history.

Catherine: It wasn't bad. I still got teary-eyed and proud and sh*t. But Betsy Ross's house? That sh*t was totally made up.

Catherine is heading to Scranton. You heard me.

June: Cool! My grandmother lives there!

Catherine is surrounded by drunks, graves, and the rolling hills of Pennsylvania.

Steve: That sounds like me last night.

Catherine: Except that I'm related to most of the people in the graves here. And most of the drunks, too.