I Will Try Not to Sing Out of Key

Songs sometimes say it all, right?

As I leave Florida later today, I leave behind very little. My parents and a few precious friends. Most memories are good ones and I take them with me.

Ever notice how goodbye songs are really breakup songs? I don't feel like I'm breaking up with anyone. You all will be with me always. Besides, I'll be back for visits and reunions.

Plus I never lose touch. Unless you deserve it. That's how *I* roll.

But still, some of these songs hit home as I travel to make my own somewhere else.

"If you need me, call me. No matter where you are. No matter how far."

"Rain keeps fallin' down, down, down."

"I'm tired of holding on to a feeling I know is gone. I do believe that I've had enough."

"Weep not for the memories."

"And in time I will fade away..."

Saved the best for last.

"Who's to say where the wind will take you? Who's to say what it is will break you? I don't know which way the wind will blow. Who's to know when the time is comin' round? Don't wanna see you cry. I know that this is not goodbye."

Not even getting into all the country songs out there. Standards and all.

A special thank you to those who made this year easier and more enjoyable. Come skiing.

Bye.

You Know Jim Johnson's Rooting for Smash Mouth

Time is running out for you to vote in the final round of Hillary's campaign song contest. Your votes narrowed down the initial choices, and they've added some of your great suggestions.

Please take a moment to cast your vote.

Hill's feelin' the love.

Oh, my.

Isn't It Over Yet?

Sent an email to local loved ones:

Hi favorite people,

It looks as though I'm finally getting out of Florida. Tuesday the movers are packing us up, Wednesday they are taking everything away and Thursday we close on our house.

Goodbye Tampa. Hello Colorado Springs. For real this time. Hope my new superintendent is ready.

Please keep in touch via this email address or through my website. Plus my cell phone works.

We will be staying at Best Friend Becky's House while shopping around for our own abode. Positive thoughts for our twenty-five year friendship that will hopefully continue to thrive despite my children and attitude up her ass starting next week sometime.

Seriously. Positive thoughts.

And keep in touch.

Katie

Best response:

I couldn't be more happy for you, Katie. Yet another road, endless
adventures and a family who loves you so (including me). I'm proud of you,
my friend.

You are one of the few constants I can rely on and for that, thank you.
To me it's worth more than a winning lotto ticket. I wish you all my
love, luck and faith in your new journey. Advice for your new city:

A) You only get one chance to make a first impression.
B) You only get one chance to make a first impression.
(Meant to be redundant!)
C) Re-train your kids to stop saying "ya'll" and "fixin' to" before you get there. . . Don't want them held back a class because no one there speaks Red-Neck.
D) Trade in your bathing suits and flip-flops for long johns and shovels.
E) Mountains are real - not big sand dunes in the distance.
F) Your first day of work, end every sentence with: "Or so the prophecy would make us think."
G) On your second day of work, pat the Principal on the head and say, "Good Boy." (or girl should it be the case)
H) Before you "shop for your own abode", put Becky's finger in warm water while she's sleeping.
I) On your first day at your new home, open up all the windows and doors and crank "Paul's Boutique" in every direction.
J) Have a safe trip and don't forget us when you're famous.

I love you, Katie.

Cat

A Message From John Edwards

My friend is working hard for the good Senator from North Carolina. So proud! Her regular emails remind me that he is an honorable man with some great ideas who should not be discounted amidst all the Obama/Clinton noise.

Check it out.

My Answers: DCCC 2007 New Directions Survey (Part Four)

PART VII: ENERGY AND THE ENVIRONMENT
How concerned are you about Republican proposals to weaken Clean Air Act and Clean Water Act protections?
- Very concerned (added): they are harming our planet.

How serious a threat do you consider global warming?
- Very serious

Should Congress investigate allegations of price gouging by big oil companies?
- Yes (added): prove you work for the people.

Which of the following will help America achieve energy independence?
- Raising the mileage standards on all new cars and trucks, developing renewable energy sources, encouraging consumer conservation, investing in energy efficiency technology

PART VIII: HEALTH CARE
Should every American be guaranteed access to quality health care?
-Yes

Should Congress take steps to extend universal health care coverage to every child?
- Yes

Should Congress extend health care coverage to all low-income Americans who can't afford health insurance?
- Yes

Should scientists and doctors be allowed to pursue stem cell research for the treatment of Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, diabetes, spinal cord injuries and other tragic conditions?
- Yes

My Answers: DCCC 2007 New Directions Survey (Part Three)

PART V: RETIREMENT SECURITY - SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE
Which political party do you trust most to guarantee your retirement security?
- Democrats

Do you favor or oppose renewed Republican efforts to privatize Social Security?
- No

Should the Medicare prescription drug benefit plan be reformed to make it less confusing to seniors?
- Yes

Should the Medicare prescription drug benefit plan be reformed to allow the government to negotiate lower drug prices with the big drug companies?
- Yes

PART VI - EDUCATION
How does America's educational system rank compared to other industrialized nations?
- (added): Our elementary and secondary schools are falling behind because of lack of parental involvement and an unwillingness to invest in our kids and teachers. Our universities have similar problems but are doing much better at offering a world-class education to students all over the world. Unfortunately, many students outside this country are better qualified to attend college than our own kids.

Do you think the federal government should provide more aid to Americans who want to continue their education beyond high school?
- (added): Yes, we'd only benefit in a more educated work force.

Which Democratic initiative will help more Americans afford college? (Check all that apply.)
- Cutting student loan interest rates, increasing college tuition tax deductions, increasing Pell grants

My Answers: DCCC 2007 New Directions Survey (Part Two)

PART III: IRAQ, OTHER FOREIGN POLICY AND TERRORISM

Rate President Bush's handling of the war in Iraq:
- Disastrous

Should Democrats in Congress press for a set time frame for bringing our troops home from Iraq?
- Yes

Aside from the war in Iraq, how do you rate President Bush's foreign policy record?
- Disastrous

How has the international community's perception of America changed under the Bush Administration?
- It's gotten worse.

Which political party do you trust most to combat terrorism and protect America against future attacks?
- Democrats (added): Shape up.

PART IV: THE ECONOMY
How would you rate the current state of the American economy?
- Poor (added): For too many.

Which of the following would strengthen our nation's economy?
- Targeted middle-class tax relief

Currently, my most pressing personal financial concern is:
- (added) selling a house in a piss-poor real estate market

How important is raising the minimum wage to the economic security of working families?
- Very important

My Answers: DCCC 2007 New Directions Survey (Part One)

Part I: LEGISLATIVE PRIORITIES (We are to rank them.)
1- Crossed out "Setting a new course in Iraq" and wrote "Bring our troops home."
2- Protecting our nation from the threat of terrorism (and then I added) by improving our standing abroad.
3- Expanding access to affordable health care.
4- Improving educational opportunities.
5- Taking swift action to stop global warming.

PART II: RESTORING STRONG LEADERSHIP IN CONGRESS
What is your outlook for America in 2007 compared to 2006?
-Better

How important is eliminating the Republican culture of corruption in Congress to restoring the public's faith in our government?
- Very Important

How important is it for Congress to reassert its constitutionally mandated role as a co-equal branch of government and once again fulfill its oversight responsibility?
- Very Important (and I added): You can do this by standing strong for the American people instead of caving in to the President every time he turns into a bully. Stand up to him!

How aggressively should Democrats investigate potentially illegal and unconstitutional actions by the Bush Administration?
- Very Aggressively (added): If we don't, who will?

Bras and Panties and Ronald Reagan

Some of my favorite friends gathered with me last night to say goodbye. The night was perfect - lovely breeze, gracious hosts, and yummy food. I didn't even get tipsy, wanting to stay clear and focused and refrain from the sentimental hogwash that comes with too many glasses of wine.

Yet, even sober, I still showed everyone the results of my super-successful cosmetic surgery. Well, not everyone. Some were glued to basketball and missed the real show.

Poor bastards.

Anyway, we laughed and talked about everything from the existence of God to standing for the flag. They teased me about post-surgery antics like my penchant for rubbing bruised and battered breasts. Localized massage and pain management to one person is masturbatory foreplay to another.

They're gonna miss me something awful.

And I'm going to miss them.

They are kind and considerate and surrounded me with much love for the past year.

And talk about the best going-away presents. One doll got me a Ronald Reagan Action Figure.

Check it:

And he talks, too! Listen to one of his sample phrases.

Swallowed a bit of vomit, didn't you? A tutorial is included to learn more about one of my least favorite presidents of all time.

Come to think of it, maybe this gift could serve another purpose. Ronnie's the perfect size to be my new favorite love toy.

And guess what else? I got a cute little bra and pantie set. Put it on this morning and can't take it off. Perfect for cleaning house.

Especially dusting the fans.



Oops, that little tattoo is showing. Oh well. A girl's gotta get her kicks somehow.

Gotta go take the trash out.

My neighbors are gonna miss me, too.

I Already Said it Once, Why Say it Again?

What is Memorial Day all about?

For most people, Monday is just another day off. It’s an occasion to sleep late, relax at the beach, or enjoy potato salad at family barbeques.

Several years ago, my family started a new tradition of observing certain holidays by honoring the reasons they became holidays in the first place. On the Fourth of July, for example, we take turns reading the Declaration of Independence. Charities devoted to former soldiers need help on Veteran’s Day and urban renewal projects look for volunteers on Martin Luther King Day. On Labor Day, we watch Grapes of Wrath. See the pattern? We acknowledge the meaning behind days off, teach our children some history, and serve our community at the same time. Everyone wins.

Memorial Day is an annual opportunity to pay tribute to those who have died for our country. There are many ways to demonstrate our appreciation and remembering them is the least we can do. Grateful Americans attend services at military cemeteries and wear red poppies to show they haven’t forgotten the fallen. Flags are proudly displayed, Taps is played, speeches made, and graves visited.

Early in this new “family tradition”, I remember looking around a tranquil Bay Pines National Cemetery in St. Petersburg during its Memorial Day ceremony and feeling embarrassed at all the empty seats. After the terrorist attacks on 9/11, attendance rose sharply and finding parking spaces became more difficult. Seats continue to fill as Afghanistan and Iraq remind us of sacrifices our soldiers continue to make on a daily basis. Yet, I will be saddened Monday morning that more people aren’t in attendance when I sit down and pin poppies on my children’s shirts. Is an hour too much to give to those who have given everything for our country, for us?

When people ask about my plans this weekend, I will measure my words and try not to sound sanctimonious. I will appeal to their sense of patriotism, especially in this day and age, and invite them to make the drive to St. Petersburg or any locally organized observances. There are many to choose from and a beautiful morning is expected. It’s also one of those rare moments when we can all come together, put aside our differences, and say thank you to millions of sons and daughters who have paid the ultimate price for our liberty and freedom.

I will also tell them it only lasts a short while, leaving plenty of time to head back to the beach, barbeque or bed. Then I will ask them again to please, join us.

Elia Ain't No Oprah

This is what's referred to as our "End of the Year Pep Talk."

An attempt to get teachers active, moving, motivated.

Look around, MaryEllen. Most of your teachers look about as stirred-up as a cesspool.

The Springs - More Queer Friendly?

Good. That means I'll be able to find a decent interior decorator.

They're gonna love me...

h/t Addison (who makes the yummiest cupcakes EVER)

First Grade Flew By

This past year, I have chronicled my acting-single-parent adventures. However, this has also been a challenging time for my children. I am constantly amazed and impressed by their ability to tune into what they're feeling, express it, and carry on bravely. My little heroes and all.

Here they are not so long ago...


And now they are headed toward second grade.

So I'd like to take a minute (as I did last year and the year before) to remark about the unique gifts each one brings to our family.

This will help during inevitable therapy sessions: "Yes, I wrote about love toys. But I also gave you a shout out and that's gotta count for something."

Oldest - Grandpa calls you "Kissinger", Daddy says you're a diplomat, but I think of you as our healer. You excel at promoting peace wherever you go. So kind and considerate, always first to help those in need. I've watched you console a wounded teammate, comfort your crying brother, and hug anyone who might need some love. When brother left his sneakers at Tae Kwon Do, you offered to lend him yours. And no one was surprised.

However, you are not to be taken advantage of. More and more, I catch you sticking up for yourself. "You're not the boss of me!" has become one of your favorite sayings.

Speaking of sayings, I love how you take my phrases (that I didn't even realize I said so often) and make them your own. "Just so you know" comes out as "So just you know." Especially funny is when you're on the phone. "So...how's it going with you?" you ask like a little man. And always give time for the other person to answer.

I am proud of how well you do in school and sports and just about everything else you attempt. Most importantly, you are a good person. Son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin, and friend - we are all so fortunate to know and love you.

Youngest - My tough little guy with a heart of gold. I love how brave you are, always willing to stand up for what you believe in and express yourself. You argue like a champ! But never to alienate, always to learn. And to be understood. You smile brightest when touching our hearts, whether through a hug or kiss or an emphatic, "I think you're wonderful!"

Making others laugh is one of your talents. Especially through dancing or making funny faces. Thank goodness you inherited your father's gift for joke telling - never once goofing up a punch line. I'm proud of your good grades and teacher's praise. You are an excellent athlete and supportive when others need that extra encouragement.

Luckily you and your brother haven't outgrown snuggling in bed on weekend mornings. It's one of my favorite activities and never do I feel more loved. Stay strong, my beautiful boy, and know that your entire family is behind you. Always.

Here's to a wonderful summer. (I give us three days before we're ready to tear our hair out. Still. Happy thoughts!)

I Like Him

I really do.

So there.

h/t Michael

Hey, Family Values Voter, Whatcha Thinkin?

h/t Elizabeth

What Would You Do During Your Last Few Days in Tampa?

I'm open to suggestions.

Restaurants, attractions, nonsense, and distractions.

Keep this in mind:

• I'm a grown woman.
• A wife and mom for crying out loud.
• Despite the hot bod.
• So keep it legal.
• And entertaining.

Lemme know either through comments or email.

So much to do, so little time.

They're After Me. Either That Or I'm Drunk.

Even though I haven't been drinking. Yet.

Check it:

Got home Monday and found a basketball on my front lawn.


Got home yesterday and found three blackened tennis balls on my front lawn.


And the basketball is still there.

Someone's trying to send me a message and I'm hearing it. Loud and clear. They're saying:

I have balls.
I have big balls.
I have black balls.
The Masons are after me.
I need to get the f*ck out of town.

That's right, folks. Crazy like a *fox*.

A Good First Step

The Pasco, Pinellas and Hillsborough Democrats invite you to our first Union Picnic!

"Celebrating the Legacy of Labor"
Click here for FLYER
Please Join us on Saturday, June 2, 2007 at Anderson Park

map

Time: 12:30 - 3:30

Hotdogs and Hamburgers will be provided for all you flesh-eaters.
Bring a covered dish to share.

RSVP: unionpicnic@gmail.com

Local Democratic leaders will address:

• Impasse on Union Contracts
• Unfair Collective Bargaining Agreements
• Diluted Worker's Rights

Donations Welcome

Always With the Gas

"Gasoline price gouging should be made a federal crime before the summer price increases hurt more American families."

From MoveOn.org:

Hearings start today on H.R. 1252, a House bill that would make gas price gouging a federal crime, punishable by 10 years in prison. Speaker Pelosi has said she'll move the bill to a vote this week—if there's the two-thirds majority required to fast track the bill through the process.

Oil company lobbyists are frantically trying to stop the bill. Your representative needs to hear from you today. Will you sign our petition asking Congress to pass the price-gouging bill—and then send it to your friends?

Charlie and Kelly Sitting in a Tree

The governor has a girlfriend. And this is news.

Where should we start?

She's had an earthworm in her mouth. How does Charlie compare?

Then there's the part about testing "78 percent masculine".

...nah, too easy.

From DFA - Impeach Him

If George Bush won't fire U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, then Congress can. And must.

For more information and to demand that Congress act, click here.

If It's Organic, Don't Panic

Delivers throughout Colorado. They use organic food and local farmers.

This could be cool.

h/t Michele

Goodbye Sticks of Fire. It's Been Fun.

Remember a year ago when I was supposed to move to Colorado? Well, we finally sold our house and I’m ending my long goodbye. This is my last post for Sticks of Fire.

Hold your applause. Please.

I’ve already said so long and those thoughts still stand. This past year has been tough, but an extra twelve months have been a blessing in so many ways. I got to meet more of you gems, participate in the governor’s race, and spend time with loved ones who will be mourned and missed.

Read it again. I meant every word.

Now - allow me to look forward for a moment. Colorado Springs…

My new home is known as the Evangelical Capital of the World. Most residents are to the right of Rove. My family of four will effectively double the Jewish population. This is a bit scary. Yes, moving next door to Focus on the Family is frightening to my liberal sensibilities. Yet such a move also provides me an opportunity to make a difference. To get in there and ruffle some feathers, convert conservatives and help out my fellow activists.

Because they are outnumbered, liberals in The Springs are a tight knit group. During my many visits, I’ve been welcomed with open arms and look forward to working on issues relating to tolerance, choice, and other ways to make the area a better place to live. My experiences with new neighbors, writers, activists and bloggers out west leads me to look back at my old peeps in Florida one last time and offer this bit of advice:

Get your act together.

Republicans are kicking your ass when it comes to organizing and fundraising. They hustle and recruit where you have ignored and neglected. Please move into the suburbs and get to know families who are making their home there. Don’t blow off rural voters waving confederate flags, such people are voting against their own self-interest because Dems have forgotten them.

Local liberals - stop talking and listen for change.

My party is catering to those who wouldn’t give Jim Davis the money he needed to win. Yet who can blame big donors? They opened their wallets for Betty Castor and Mel Martinez still walked away with a victory. I wouldn’t want to flush my funds down the toilet either. Not for a party that doesn’t know how to win.

Too many activists are waiting for calls that never come. Boston, up to its eyeballs in Democrats, excels at utilizing the talents of local players. Busy bees running the show for Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, and President Clinton opened the door and allowed me to walk in and participate. Local precinct captains couldn’t get enough of my wicked ways. Such inclusion shows. Dems run the show there. Florida Dems lose more elections every year and couldn’t care less about young movers and shakers. Republicans take them though. And again, it shows.

Unpopular war and unpopular President and we still didn’t do as well as we should have in the last election. Results were shameful. And a direct indictment of how our state party and local party conducts itself.

In the midst of all this - how do bloggers respond?

They’re too busy arguing over who is really progressive to give a shit.

Real productive, guys.

Hard-working writers out there who champion Democratic candidates are being booted out of the tent because they also write about their kids or art or love toys.

Lonely libs, in case you haven’t noticed, we can’t afford to lose any more people. Bloggers who attract those uninterested in politics or those who lean to the left but are unsure should be embraced instead of scorned. Make room for everyone who wants to help the progressive cause. Even if they only work for us part time. Stop focusing on what divides us and build a bridge or two. Wipe away the hate from your eyes and discover what we have in common.

Or continue to isolate yourselves from those who don’t tow the company line completely. Which makes you as bad as those neocons you rail against.

Pay attention, I’m almost finished - You are driving away potential supporters because you embody all that is ugly and distasteful about politics.

As you look around at a landscape that rejects your values because you can’t articulate them in a way that includes everyone, I gotta ask: How’s that working for you?

Oh, keep on keeping on, elitist Democrats, don’t let me stop you. Keep isolating yourselves and erasing all that is noble about the political process.

And keep crying the morning after elections.

There. I’m out.

***cross-posted at Sticks***

Back to Normal

Yes, folks, weekends are no longer spent healing a wound or moaning about my bowels. I can now resume normal activity and you know what that means?

I sit home with a movie and a glass of wine and talk to the television.

Last night I watched the newest documentary about my all-time favorite artist. I own every record John Lennon ever recorded and even one of his lithographs. Once, I ditched all my friends (or did they ditch me?) on a Friday night back in 1988 to watch Imagine with a bunch of aging hippies.

The times, they have hardly a'changed.

Anyway, if you're looking for a good movie about an inspirational human being unfairly targeted by our government (see if you can count how many similarities between wartime then and wartime now) - rent this dandy flick.

*sigh*

It's good to be back.

Nastiness in Blog Land

When my students display acts of cruelty and/or violence, there are plenty of consequences. One such consequence that I insist upon is they write the following quote and we talk about what it means.

The quote:

If Others Disrespect Me Or Give Me Flack
I'll Stop And Think Before I React
Knowing That They're Going Through Insecure Stages
I'll Take The Opportunity To Exercise Patience
I'll See It As A Chance To Help The Other Person
Nip It In The Bud Before It Can Worsen
A Chance For Me To Be Strong And Sure
As I Think On The Buddhas Who Have Come Before
As I Praise And Respect The Good They've Done
Knowing Only Love Can Conquer Hate In Every Situation
We Need Other People In Order To Create
The Circumstances For The Learning That We're Here To Generate
Situations That Bring Up Our Deepest Fears
So We Can Work To Release Them Until They're Cleared
Therefore, It Only Makes Sense
To Thank Our Enemies Despite Their Intent

It helps that the quote is from a pretty amazing Beastie Boys song. (MCA is the original JewBu.)

Anyway, when others online spew hate and nastiness because they can't disagree politely, it helps me to listen to this song and remember the words.

I'll be glad if it helps anyone else out, too.

Wanna Walk for Change?

Real change starts when politics get local. In just over a week since Obama '08 announced the June 9th Walk for Change, over 800 neighborhood walks have been planned in communities across the country.

Is there one near you?

Protect Our States. End the War.

Here's an idea from the Democratic Party,

Tornadoes in Kansas. Fires in California, Georgia and Florida. Floods in Missouri. We simply don't have the resources to handle catastrophic events across our country.

Those resources are missing because of the war in Iraq.

Tell President Bush to bring our troops and equipment back where they're needed most -- here at home.

Put What's On My Chest, On Your Car

Get your free bumper sticker while supplies last.

From the Edwards' campaign.

Keep The Momentum Going

Hope is alive for teachers in Hillsborough County. From an email I received...

We are continuing to build an organization to run for the District 3 seat
on the School Board.

My hope is to show everyone we we're in this to win for all teachers.
Please visit http://www.fredburns.com/ and consider contributing to my
campaign. The more money we have in the early stages of the campaign will
show any opponent we're a force to be reckoned with. If money is tight,
please consider working with us in a volunteer capacity. If you decide to
volunteer, you will be contacted when we're ready to get your group together for
a meeting.

Either way, anything you can do to help is greatly appreciated. I don't
know about you, but I'm really looking forward to our summer vacation.
We'll need all the rest and relaxation we can get to prepare for the 6/7
schedule next year. I have a feeling I'll be seeing many of you at Board
meetings later this year as we continue to speak to them about our concerns.

Help Choose Hillary's Campaign Song

Vote for your favorite.

Or come up with an idea of your own.

Hey, I have a the perfect tune...

Death Penalty is Back

Charlie Crist is set to begin signing death warrants again now that practices are in place to make the process more humane.

We should care about the way the death penalty is carried out and show some care that murderers don't suffer. After all, such concern separates us from the bad guys.

However, like most liberals with sense, I do believe that allowing murderers to live is an affront to us all. The old argument that poor men of color are singled out doesn't sway me a bit. Let's include all (mostly) men who commit murder. Women, too. Equality is equality, right?

The answer is simply more, not less, truly horrific killers should not be allowed to breathe air. Period.

The death penalty doesn't prevent crime? Well, we know those particular murderers put to death won't be killing anyone else, don't we? I'd even open up the definition of 'heinous crime' to include pedophiles as well. But that's me. I'm an old testament kinda gal.

Last, but not least, victims' families deserve closure. They deserve some peace. After all, they've been through enough.

We all have.

So let's bring it back.

Oh How I Love Me Some Beastie Boys

Mike D sportin' a Will Ferrell 'do, Adrock pumping out some serious energy, and MCA looking hot despite a head of grey hair, or maybe because of it. These boys put a smile on my face every time.

Enjoy their jam.

h/t gar

Yom Yerushalayim

I know we're supposed to be afraid of Israel and all, but I love it there. Walking the city streets of Tel Aviv, strolling through the gardens in Haifa, breathing in the hot desert air of Negev, or floating on the Dead Sea - the country is one giant success story. And Jerusalem is its heartbeat.

We all need a promised land and despite one wicked spider bite, my jaunt through Israel was peaceful and enjoyable.

And I wanna go back again. Someday.

Until then, here's to another 40 years of a united Jerusalem. (Plus my kids sound like little angels when they sing this song. So there's that.)

Big Wheels Keep On Turnin'

Would you recommend a moving company?

One that will *not* wreck our sh*t?

Or would you instead like to warn us about a particular hauler?

Please, by all means, use the comments below or email me at once.

Thanks for all you do.

More Signs Teachers Need a Break

Next Friday is the last day of school for teachers in Hillsborough County.

No secret - we enjoy (unpaid) time off just like the kids. Here's last years' list of tell-tale signs that educators need some space.

As this school year draws to a close, we:

- can list five ways watching The Sopranos in class complies with curriculum guidelines.

- hate each other. Really.

- start accepting current events from Us magazine. About Paris Hilton. Cause apparently she matters.

- write op-ed pieces criticizing the superintendent.

- respond to ineffective parents with wit and sarcasm. And then act surprised when they blow a brain cell.

- forgot how to explain Voodoo Economics five weeks ago. Or why it matters.

- stop shaving.

- find ourselves responding to students' questions with, "Seriously? Are you *high*?"

- giggle like fifteen year-olds at faculty meetings every time the principal mentions "Harry Wong."

- yawn and scratch ourselves inappropriately.

- daydream about weekend plans during Monday morning announcements.

- gladly interrupt a lecture on jingoism so Ruthie can teach us how to text message more effectively.

I Like Her

I really do.

So there.

What Not To Miss About Tampa Bay

So far, I'm still leaving. And I've gone over all that I will miss about this area.

However, to remain fair and balanced, I will not miss...

horny bugs.

rednecks.

humidity.

you.

My Mommy and Me

I wrote this last year and it still stands...

A million thanks go out to the woman who has put up with this look for thirty-seven years.



She rocked, changed diapers, and rolled her eyes - cried, praised, and threw up hands in despair - encouraged, empowered, and counseled to no avail. A few times, she even administered an enema. This past week alone, she babysat her grandsons several times without a single complaint. Claimed she actually enjoyed it.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. You are everything I hope to be and more.

Except I'd like to avoid the enemas.

So Much to Miss About Tampa Bay

Remember when I thought I was moving to Colorado Springs a year ago?

Now that I'm actually leaving, I'm still going to miss...

Hudson Beach sunsets.

Bayshore walks with my boys.

my parents.

Bo's ice cream.

you.

Pray for Me

I pray every day. (C'mon, think about my life. Wouldn't you?) Feels good and gives me time to reflect on ways to be a better person.

All my life, I've been into the power of prayer, the power of positive thoughts. We can make ourselves sick, so it stands to reason we can make ourselves well, too. Right? Of course, right.

Then I read this article. F*cked me all up.

Most thought-provoking quote in a sea of thought-provoking quotes:

You could prove to the satisfaction of every scientist that intercessory prayer
works if you set up a simple experiment. Get a billion Christians to pray for a
single amputee. Get them to pray that God regrow that missing limb. This happens
to salamanders every day, presumably without prayer; this is within the capacity
of God. I find it interesting that people of faith only tend to pray for
conditions that are self-limiting.

He's right, ya know. He's. Right.

So what are we doing on our knees every night?

Pasco County Democratic Meeting this Saturday

And they'll feed ya, too!

Saturday, May 12, 2007 - 10:00am (breakfast *9:15am)
Suggested Donation: $6

Location: Land O Lakes Community Center
5401 Land O Lakes Blvd., Land O'Lakes, FL
map

Special Guests!

Carol Mehlman
Immigration Law Attorney
Topic: Changes in Immigration Law

Melissa Meehan
Coastal Organizer Southern Alliance for Clean Energy
Topic: Clean Energy Solutions for Global Warming Problems

***Delegate Forms***
We are still collecting forms for the 2007 Florida State Convention!
If you are interested in attending the convention, please bring your forms to this meeting!

We will be holding elections on June 16.

from United for Peace and Justice

Yesterday, President Bush vetoed the $124 billion Iraq war funding bill, because it included a timid troop withdrawal plan.

Democrats in Congress shouldn't have to compromise with the arrogant, incompetent administration that led us into war, rather than stand up for us and our troops.

If we do not create a national outcry right now, Congress will capitulate and simply give Bush the money he wants to continue the war.

Let's make some noise!

• Don't get up from your computer until you've sent a letter to the editor of your local paper -- you can do so here, with just a few clicks.
• Call local radio talk shows, and jam the Capitol Hill switchboard (202-224-3121) with calls to your senators and representatives. Click here for talking points.
• Download and deliver "The People's Emergency Funding Bill," by fax or in person, to your representative's and senators' local and Washington DC offices. (Click here to find their office addresses and fax numbers.)
• Find out if there is an activity already planned near you, and then call everyone you know and urge them to join you there. Be sure to bring a sign with a clear message -- e.g, Congress: Stand Up to Bush! More actions are listed on MoveOn.org.
• If you can't find a local protest, you can put one together quickly, with even just a friend or two.

Here are a few ideas:

***Street Actions: vigils, rallies, cell-phone-a-thons, street theater;
***Banner Drop: Make big banners, and hang them from highway overpasses, buildings or other prominent places;
***Actions Inside and/or Outside Congressional Offices: Read letters from military families, hold a vigil, organize a picket, or do street theater.

Wrong, Immoral, and Irresponsible

A new ad featuring John Bruhns, a former sergeant in the Army, is directed by Oliver Stone and includes a voice over by Ron Kovic—the author of Born on the Fourth of July and outspoken Vietnam War veteran.

Good stuff.

Watch it here.

Burns for the Board?

Got an email from this guy. Says he wants to run for the Hillsborough County School Board.

Here's how I will help you:

1. I will not travel to any conferences or meetings that do not
benefit District 3. Some Board Members attend functions that needlessly
spend your tax dollars without any benefit to their District.
Instead, I will use my time traveling to your meetings listening to
your concerns.

2. As a Board member, I will visit every school in my District at
least twice a year to talk with students, teachers, administrators and the
support staff. These "town hall" meetings will help me use your input when
voting on important items like curriculum changes and new policies and
procedures. They will also help me when I have discussions with the
administration on the many issues we all care about. If asked, I will
gladly visit other schools in different districts to gather valuable
input.

3. I am a fiscal conservative and will do everything I can to
eliminate unnecessary expenditures. I will also closely scrutinize every
expense and organizational change to ensure it benefits parents, teachers,
students, and all taxpayers.

4. For the first time, the Board will have a person who has recent
teaching experience, and I will use that experience to shape decisions that will
help all teachers at the elementary, middle, and high school levels.

Getting involved in every aspect of government and representation is important; however, we have more influence in local races and local representation.

So get involved. And get to know Fred.

At least he signs the correspondence he sends to me. And that's gotta count for something.

Loverboy Strikes Again

Seems whenever I write for the Trib in praise of teachers, this guy goes bezerk. (Doesn't the handwriting scream "Angry White Male!"?)

Check out his previous love letters. This one mailed to my house about a year ago and another to school this past January.

Here is his current bit of nonsense in the form of a postcard mailed to my home.


Normally I wouldn't give him a platform (we all know the crazies come here to play) but he doesn't seem to respond to my Internet writing. Only the Trib articles. About education.

What a guy.

Teaching Has Its Good Points

If I took a writer's job in the mainstream press, then I could no longer be active politically. If I took a job in politics, then I could no longer write about love toys.

For these and so many other reasons, I'm going to continue teaching in Colorado.

Interviews usually include the principal or AP asking about my favorite teaching moment. I have several. Here's one.

Best part of teaching Humanities is toward the end of each unit when I schedule a debate. For this particular time frame, the debate would center around whether the United States should send more troops to Vietnam.

My students were well-versed in our topic. We'd read newspaper editorials and studied the textbook. We'd listened to pro-and-anti war songs, deciphering lyrics and discussing the poetry of the 1960s. My students were ready to formulate their own opinions.

Brilliant young minds filled each class, yet I would sometimes pick the smartest kids for the most challenging side of the argument. For this exercise, Phillip* was on the side that argued for more troops.

"I can't do this, Ms. Robinson," he told me after the bell rang.

"Oh?" I asked. "Why not?"

"My whole family is anti-war," he said. "Never been anything but anti-war. Dad even ran to Canada so he could avoid the draft. I can't think of any good reason to send soldiers off to die. Especially Vietnam."

"Okay," I said, nodding, feeling his angst.

"I can switch sides?" he asked, visibly relieved.

"No," I said, gently. "I'm not asking that you agree with the position.
Just that you take it. And argue effectively."

"But, I can't..."

"I'm glad you told me how you feel about it, I really am. But I've told
the class before: It's important to understand the side you're against. The
only way to do that, is to argue for that side. This will be good for you,
Phillip. Learn why they believe the way they do and then try to convince me. I
look forward to seeing what you come up with."

Phillip spent the week studying at the library and peppering me with questions after class. He worked hard and was visibly shaken by the assignment.

The following week, Phillip kicked serious ass. He talked about the need to contain communism, the evils that would be unleashed on the world if its unchecked aggression spread throughout Southeast Asia. He argued with passion about the call of duty and made us all see that the arguments in favor of escalation in Vietnam could not be dismissed as just the rantings of a few war pigs out to sacrifice our sons. I was thrilled for him. Yes, a part of me felt scared that Phillip's peaceful sensibilities had been corrupted by my lectures and The Ballad of the Green Berets. But still, he had learned.

At the end of the class, Phillip approached me and asked about his grade.

"You earned an A," I said.

"But if you had been alive back then and a decision-maker, would I have convinced you to support the war?"

I paused and smiled at Phillip.

"If anyone could have made me believe in the domino effect, it would have been you."

Wasn't good enough.

"Come on, Ms. Robinson. I'm pretty sure you're anti-war. Would I have changed your mind? Don't back out on this. Would you have agreed with me?"

I took a big breath and told the truth.

"Although you made a compelling argument, and we don't really know how
either of us would have conducted ourselves in such a long-ago time and place,
I'm afraid I probably wouldn't have agreed with you."

Big smile.

"That's okay, Ms. Robinson. I wouldn't have agreed with me either."

And then Phillip walked out of my classroom. Ready for the world.

*details changed. cause of the crazies.

Not Gonna Jinx Us

No way.

Just gonna say it's time for going-away parties to commence. Cause I'm about up out of here.

For real this time.

Ready for Summer

New Favorite T-Shirts

Can't decide which one I like more.





Or

When a bacterial infection threatens your very existence, it's good to laugh.

Indeed.

Patient Problems

Almost died last weekend. Funny story.

But first, let me say that for too long, I was one of the healthy ones. Decades would go by. I'd get a sniffle, maybe, but that's it. And it wasn't anything some meditation, a subliminal tape and herbal tea couldn't solve.

I touched on it earlier, too many antibiotics equals one upset tummy. Tried to work through it on my own and last Sunday realized there was no way around a trip to the emergency room. Then I was admitted and spent the next four days trying to get better despite the hospital's lame ass food and one uncomfortable flex sig.

Is it c diff?

Not sure. One thing's for certain - ain't no pepto bismol curing this particular ailment.

I'm home now - going through helpful advice and then there's this. Here's to a happy ending.