Just Donated to Barack's Campaign - What's Elite About That?

It's a shame that Rev. Wright turned on Barack Obama this past week and is trying so desperately to sabotage Obama's presidential campaign. Won't know the real answers behind his public meltdown for years, I'm sure.

Meanwhile, no one cares that John McCain proudly accepted the endorsement of a whacked-out preacher who blames the sins of New Orleans for Hurricane Katrina.

White crazy's okay, I suppose. We're used to that.

I'm not really concerned one way or the other about Wright or Hagee. I'm concerned about health care. Getting our troops out of Iraq.

Hell, Obama's answers about gas prices are better than McCain's.



Let the mouthbreathers who are easily manipulated worry about how what's good for one candidate isn't good for another.

I'm concerned with what really matters.

Holy Smoke

Mom returned recently from Medjugorje. She endured a good deal of ribbing from Husband with her usual good-natured laugh.

Good thing. A real fanatic would've killed him.

Him: Did you have a good time?

Her: It's not about having a good time. It's about a spiritual journey you have to feel with an open heart and an open mind.

Him: Did you take any pictures?

Her: I took a few, but it's impossible to capture the spirit of the place on film. You really have to feel it. I didn't want to miss a single feeling so I just absorbed everything instead of worrying about pictures.

Him: Couldn't figure out the new camera, huh? Well, did you at least pick me up a shirt or something? How about the one that says, "I Opened My Heart and Mind and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt." I could always use one of them.

According to Each Child's Needs

One of my online buddies recently posted about his own quandary and it hit home. Like me, Dave's trying to decide between public and private school for his kids. For the last five years, I've taught in public schools and so I've listened to arguments for and against all the different choices regarding how to educate one's children.

Everyone has an opinion, but none matter and here's why. When deciding which school to send your kids, only you can know for sure what your children need. And to hell with what everyone else thinks.

What are the arguments for a public school education? Several people, teachers and parents alike, say that those educated in public schools are more well-rounded and learn better how to tackle problems independently.

What a load of rubbish.

Do these people actually know anyone educated in a private school setting? I know a few and they are delightful, smart, and tolerant. Some are self-important, but let's face it, snobs can be found anywhere - from prep schools to the AP classes at your local high school. Let's not pretend otherwise.

I went to public schools my entire life, but the reason I am strong and independent has to do with my DNA (Nana's in there somewhere) and the women in my life (Mom's strength, Aunt Mimi's mouthiness, and the hurricane-force that is Aunt Jeanne). I am the way I am because of those influences, not because of anything a teacher or bully ever taught me.

Not to diminish the importance of a good education, I just learned more about how to deal with differences and life's difficulties around the kitchen table every night, not behind a desk during the day.

I'm also not convinced that public schools offer real life experiences. I've worked full-time since the age of sixteen. Never have I been made to endure sexual harrassment, bullies, or physical assault in the workplace. I would never, ever put up with such nonsense. How can I ask my children to put up with it?

Such daily drama encourages bitterness, not strength.

What do your children need? That's the question to be answered.

If they benefit from a strong religious household with dedicated and self-motivated parents, perhaps homeschooling is the way to go. I've seen it work wonders with kids who have a habit of hanging with the wrong crowd. There are also dozens of activities homeschooled kids can attend at the local public school or YMCA to encourage good social skills.

Are your family's morals and values represented in a nearby school that is a comfortable and safe haven in which to learn? Then that parochial school would be the best choice.

If your kids are shy, closed-off, in need of special attention, or easy-going and relaxed or gifted and talented (God help you) - perhaps a public school is best.

Since my kids were two and a half years old, they've needed structure, organization, and discipline. They are the types of kids who respond well to order and supervision, an environment that calls for academic and athletic excellence.

Plus I like uniforms. Zero tolerance policy for behavior issues that get in the way of learning. That sort of thing.

I know, gulp. A Catholic or Jewish day school is looking like the best option for the Robinson boys. Public school fanatics? Your answer simply doesn't work for everyone.

Handle it.

Where are all the blossoms? Isn't springtime supposed to be a rebirth? Why is everything so dead and dry?

I spent an inordinate amount of time outdoors this past week.

I do not enjoy outdoor activity of any kind. My skin, hair, and temperment are better suited for temperature-controlled rooms adorned with artwork and interesting people who buy me drinks while we discuss the ways in which George W. Bush has destroyed the middle class.

Nevertheless, my children went on a field trip Thursday to Colorado Springs' idea of a zoo and they needed parent volunteers to supervise. I'm sure I was not their first choice, since Youngest's teacher ignored me and talked through my children instead.

Example: "You can tell your mother that the bus will be leaving at 1pm."

I know. Ridiculous.

At some point, though, they realized beggars can't be choosers. And so I rode on a bus with about 30 second graders and tried not to gouge my own eyes out. Upside: I got to meet Larry, Curly, and Moe for myself.

One of them wore this t-shirt: "I Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time."

Well. Doesn't that just about sum it up?

Actually, the kids in question weren't so bad. They were loud. Obnoxious. They got into trouble and were reprimanded by Miss Blah Blah several times. And one of them had his mom with him. Decked out in biker clothing, she looked like Cher from Mask. The kids reminded me of my own special needs students who've learned long ago that being yelled at is better than being ignored. Larry, Curly, and Moe simply seek out negative attention because it's better than nothing.

Halfway through the day, Youngest remarked, "Now I know why Larry yells at everyone. I just heard his mom yelling at him. She's kind of mean."

Plus we saw a monkey eat its own fecal matter. All in all, my children learned a lot that day.

On Friday, I chaperoned my own students on their Community Service Day, last one of the year (thank God), where they planted seedlings at Bear Creek Park. I supervised the teenagers, but did not participate.

"Ms. Robinson," one of my students said, "why don't you plant trees with us?"

"I didn't break the law and therefore am not required to complete community service hours."

"Don't you want to get your hands dirty?"

"I do not."

"You could contribute to the community."

"My entire teaching career has been a contribution to the community. Now get to work."

Halfway through the day, Lou, a supervisor of parks and recreation, offered me a bottle of water. I politely declined.

"You need water here, ma'am."

I could barely hear him because my ears were covered with a wool cap and hoodie to block out the forty degree weather and 45 mile per hour winds. In April.

"I'm aware it's dry," I said, after he repeated himself. "But due to budget cuts thanks to a Republican-run town, there aren't any bathrooms except that blue port-o-potty about a mile across the tundra. Since I don't feel like dodging snakes and branches falling from dead trees, I'm going to go with 'no thank you.' At least until I can get back to civilization again. Lou."

He just stared at me.

As a rule, Parks Department people do not get me.

But I bet if I were in a temperature-controlled room sipping a cosmopolitan and talking with fabulous people, they would have laughed their asses off.

I've Got Subway on my Mind

Last night Oldest got on the phone with my brother to complain about a tummy ache.

"It's the matzoh, Uncle Mike. I'm all bound up."

Husband suggested we stop the whole "kosher for Passover nonsense before someone busts a colon."

Brother concurred.

"What kind of religion makes you eat stale cardboard for eight days straight?" he asked. "As if living where it snows in April isn't hardship enough. Give the kid some carbs for Christ's sake."

Well. For somebody's sake anyway.

Fun Conversations with Co-Workers - Ongoing

Co-Worker #1: I was talking with one of our students, Zed*, and we were discussing lies and how terrible they are and I mentioned George Washington never telling a lie and the cherry tree and Zed had no idea what I was talking about.

Me: Okay.

Co-Worker #1: Social Studies teachers don't teach about George Washington and the cherry tree anymore? What's wrong with you people?

Me: Those stories never happened. Why would we teach something that never happened?

Co-Worker #1: I know they never happened, but they're good stories. They make people feel good. We've got to keep certain myths alive, Catherine!

Me: That's what Christian schools are for.

Thankyouverymuch. I will be here all ze week.

What a Whopper

There is a human rights crisis in Florida's fields. Farm laborers are being paid poverty wages while working long hours without overtime pay. There is even physical abuse and wage fraud by crew leaders, supervisors, and growers.

There is a simple solution. Workers have asked Burger King to pay just one penny more per pound for tomatoes and ensure that the increase is passed on to tomato pickers in the form of increased wages. While other fast food corporations have already agreed to this small change, Burger King has so far refused to help workers out of poverty.

Sign the petition today and stand up for workers.

Our friends at the Coalition of Immokalee Workers have been championing farm laborers' rights for years. We worked with them to take on McDonalds and Taco Bell and won.

We'll win this one, too.

An Assignment

A local paper asked me to write a few words for each of the three major candidates, as if they were being sworn in as President on Inauguration Day.

This is what I sent them:

John McCain: "They said the nation wouldn't support an old man out of touch with reality. They said people would reject my plan to spend 100 more years in Iraq and eventually invade the rest of the world. They wrote me off when I chose Dick Cheney as my running mate, saying it showed an unwillingness to break with the Bush administration. But we showed them, didn't we, Dicky? Four more years!"

Hillary Clinton:"I did not get here on my own. Pioneers such as Jannette Rankin, the first woman elected to Congress, and Hattie Carraway, the first woman elected to the Senate, paved the way. Heck, even Nancy Pelosi played a part. Our victory is the result of their hard work and sacrifice. Of course, they never had to campaign with an opinionated man who can't keep his hands to himself, but enough about James Carville. Maybe I do deserve some credit."

President Barack Obama: "Today we begin to move our country forward. All over this nation, people have been crying out for change. We must come together to build a better tomorrow. But first things first. Jesse, Al, Clarence, where you at? Let's get fabulous up in this piece."

The editor thought the last part was racist ("Ummm, I made it clear that he should be President. How is that racist?") but anyway, I rewrote it and to my surprise they published it yesterday.

Barack Obama: "All over this nation, people have made a choice between today and yesterday; with great hope and enthusiasm they have chosen the future over the past. To that end, it is my hope that in the future Dick Cheney takes George Bush on a few hunting trips and that Ted Kennedy drives them. Vice President Clinton, you feelin' me?"

I Thought Living in Florida during the 2000 Elections Was Embarrassing -

But that was before I moved to Colorado Springs.

My community actually voted for this guy.

Where are all the Republican pundits who pounced on Obama for saying that Pennsylvania voters are bitter? Why aren't they condemning a truly elitist remark?

Then there's this - a musical about life in The Springs.

"The things people laughed at in New York were not at all the things that they laughed at in Colorado Springs," Ackerman said. "When I said, 'Every day I pray to Jesus in my car on my way to work,' people in New York laughed at that. But in Colorado, people were like, 'Yeah, I do that, too.' "

While the rise of evangelism isn't new to Coloradans, Blake thinks "This Beautiful City" will deliver a bigger shock to a New York audience.

"That's because I am a New York liberal, and I do think this piece is frightening. Just the idea that this rise in evangelicalism is not contained to Colorado Springs. It's spreading. And it's creeping into various parts of all our lives without our even realizing it. So it is actually quite threatening."

You might be thinking, "What's so embarrassing about that?"

Right. Well. You don't live here.

Big Day

This happened last week, but I wanted to run it today to show where my support is at.



Any leader who can reference historical figures one day and Jay-Z the next...



is my kind of candidate.

To my Pennsylvania peeps, don't forget to vote!

Striving for Excellence and Falling Just Short of the Mark

My children's principal might very well be unhinged.

His boss called me last week all angry that they're "losing good kids and it's got to stop." I'm realistic and understand there is little or nothing the school can do. Teachers are overwhelmed and don't have the time or inclination to worry about all their students. The children who require their attention the most are going to get it. I also know that if Administration were to kick out the aggressive and under performing kids, parents would sue.

Still, the teachers could have shown some understanding and, what my mother-in-law calls, sachel. If kindness were shown, Husband and I would never have complained to Principal's superiors.

Principal's Boss thanked me for bringing it to her attention and promised that "she'd get on him".

Then my next-door neighbor, Trudy*, tells me this bit of nonsense:

Trudy is moving next week and went to the front office to tell them her new address and contact information. For emergencies and sh*t. Principal told Trudy that since she's moving to another district, she's got to withdraw her children.

"There are only twenty-five days left in the school year," Trudy said.

"You should have thought about that before you decided to move," Principal said.

Cause they put children first. I gave her Principal's Boss's direct line and told her to go to town on the man. Enough is enough.

A smart, well-behaved boy that lives a few doors down isn't going to that school anymore either.

"What's going on, Duncan*?" I said. "We haven't seen you around school for a while."

"Mom pulled me out," he said. "I'm getting home schooled now."

Jeez, when non-Christian Fundies are pulling their kids out, you know the school system is going to hell.

Happy Passover

How I Learned More From Colbert Than ABC News

h/t Elizabeth

Are You In Danger of Raising a Wimp?

You might be one of those parents.

And when I say "you", I mean "you".

Do you have:

--an image of your child silk-screened onto a tote bag?
--a Nannycam?
--a consultant who child-proofs your home?
--a role as executive manager of your child's life?
--a shopping cart liner?
--a life plan mapped out for your three-year-old?
--the idea that free play is a waste of time that detracts from achievement?
--a belief there are far too many sex perverts out there to let your kids play outdoors?
--dinner regularly with the kids, in a car, en route to different activities?
--to complete your child's homework or paper on one or more occasions?
--a need to contact the teacher or administrator to protest a grade your child received?
--a need to call the school demanding that your child be given a part, or a better part, in a play?
--a fear of leaving your child, who is more than three months old, with anyone including your own parents?
--a psychologist hired to test your child in the hopes of finding a problem?
--the intense need to finish something your child is struggling with?
--to pay your kid every time he or his team wins a game or every time he gets a good grade?
--to make a trip to school just to bring a paper or homework your child left at home?
--to get your kid into Harvard, Princeton, Yale or some other Ivy or you'll feel like a failure?
--GPS on your kid's cellphone?
--to tell your kid he/she is brilliant all the time?
--to tell your child that second best is not good enough?
--the sneaking suspicion that you might be doing too much for your child—after all, no one did so much for you and you turned out OK—but you fear that without your vigilance your child will be "left behind"?

Just to prove I'm not above self-introspection, let's take a look again at the above list. Okay...I'm not afraid of sex perverts as much as I am afraid of bears. And I can't executive manage my own life, let alone my two children's lives - which are really just 24-hours of sports talk.

Seriously. I'd die of boredom.

And I think Harvard or Yale would be pretty terrific, but let's say they get into University of Florida instead. I wouldn't be the failure. They would.

There.

As far as the rest of the list goes, clearly my parenting skills aren't as hard core. But if you recognize yourself in any of the above bullet points, you might need some help.

So here's a book.

You're welcome.

Let it Snow

An email exchange yesterday...

To:Husband
From:Catherine
Subject: Look Outside

It's snowing. Sideways. My perfectly adorable car is in the garage because I think it's important for the sake of the environment and my waistline to walk. Doesn't seem so important now, though.

Wanna leave work early and pick me up?

I'm kidding.

Not really.

To: Catherine
From: Husband
Subject: Snow looks lovely in your hair

I can do that if you'd like.

To: Husband
From: Catherine
Subject: Chivalry Is Dead

Nah. I can walk in this weather.

It matches my soul.

To: Catherine
From: Husband
Subject: So Is Feminism

Ummm..you now have a soul?

And so I walked home. A fire truck pulled over and two firefighters asked me if I wanted a lift. Hot. Firemen. Fantasy come true. But I said no. Cause I've got my pride. And a wedding ring.

Snow hit me from all sides. I kept mumbling, "It's April. It's April. It's April."

If it snows today, I'm leaving the ring at home.

Health Care You Keep

Stand Tall for America, people.

You're Missing the Pope For This?

My mother retired in February. She goes to shows, takes Culinary Art classes, and entertains out-of-town guests. It’s only a matter of time before she learns needlepoint and shuffleboard. Your typical, retiree-in-Florida nonsense.

Yesterday, she took off for Medjugorje.

I know. I’d never heard of it either.

Apparently, though, this little village in Bosnia-Herzegovina is quite a hit with a certain someone named The Blessed Mother. Appeared there in 1981, before the town got cable, to proclaim that God is real and watching us. Fantastic. So *my* blessed mother decided to join other Catholics around the world for what the religious call a pilgrimage.

I call it Crazy Talk.

Leave it to the Virgin Mary to book a remote village in a war-torn country. Surely God’s baby mama could have done better than that – at the very least, she could have gone somewhere with four-star accommodations and wireless internet access.

But whatever.

I’m a bit worried about my mom traveling to that part of the world just to get spiritual fulfillment and renewal. Not when Vegas is just a few hours away. When I think about all the whackjobs in Bosnia and danger waiting around every corner...

Wait a minute, what am I thinking? The Virgin Mary wouldn’t have picked a dangerous neighborhood, right? She leaves those areas to Gabriel or Lucifer. The Virgin Mary is too classy to appear just anywhere.

Okay. I feel better now.

I’m sure my mom and company are hoping that Mary makes another appearance while they’re in town. But I told my mom not to get her hopes up. Holy Girlfriend is busy dealing with Darfur and Beyonce’s musical career. She doesn't have time to be worrying about a bunch of tourists who are wearing sweatpants, comfortable shoes, and bartering for Miraculous Medals.

The priest who’s leading this particular party has been there before. On his last trip, Priest went to his hotel room after a long day and was ready for sleep. But when he looked out his hotel window, he saw that the lights up at the monument were still on. So he went up there to pray one last time.

Devoted man of the cloth and all.

The next morning, he told everyone about praying up there before the lights went off and everyone was all, “Padre, there are no lights up there.”

Cue the choir.

Sure enough, Priest hasn’t seen lights since.

Everyone was all ooohing and ahhhing and blathering about miracles. Not me, though. I was pissed on his behalf.

Mary, probably off somewhere getting a corn removed, says, “Dude dragged his cookies all the way to Bosnia. Shine a light on the poor bastard; give him a thrill.” Either that or Priest had sipped some serious Bosnian booze.

Personally, I’d demand a refund.

So positive thoughts for my mom and the rest of the retired Catholics who’re traveling halfway across the world just to see some lights. God bless ‘em.

Hate it Here - Ongoing

Like my friend Melissa said, "Back in Boston, they'd never schedule prom on Passover."

Elizabeth Levine made the right choice.

Besides, I hear prom is overrated. Of course...I wouldn't know for sure. I never attended mine.

But my friends went. Julie got arrested. Cathy's date was two hours late and passed out in illegal narcotics before the end of the evening. Becky's date won "Cutest Couple" - with someone else.

I didn't miss much.

What's unfortunate here is that Jewish kids in Colorado Springs who'd *like* to attend school-sanctioned events too often have to choose between a religious ritual with family and what is, for some, a fun and exciting rite-of-passage with friends.

Like I said, Elizabeth Levine made the right choice. She'll have more fun at a seder Saturday night, anyway. Cause nothing says "good times" like remembering slavery and celebrating when God killed all those Egyptian kids.

What a town.

Wow - You Don't Say

A large study offers the strongest evidence yet that a diet the government recommends for lowering blood pressure can save people from heart attack and stroke. The plan, called the DASH diet, favors fruits, vegetables, whole grains, low-fat milk and plant-based protein over meat.

Many studies have shown that vegetarians seem to have a lower risk of obesity, coronary heart disease (which causes heart attack), high blood pressure, diabetes mellitus and some forms of cancer.

Out of almost fifty recipes for GERD-inflicted patients, less than five have meat. Interesting.

Vegetarian diets that include generous amounts of vegetables, fruits, whole grains and legumes are high in fiber and phytochemicals. Vegetarian diets often are lower in calories than are nonvegetarian diets. All of these factors benefit people with diabetes.

Plus vegetarians are thinner, cuter, and tastier. I could go on and on.

...And I'll Be Glad If It Helps Anyone Else Out, Too.

Longtime readers know I'm a Beastie Boys fan.

Seriously. Huge.

In fact, when my students react aggressively to a negative situation, after they've calmed down, and in addition to many other methods of intervention, I often have them go to a designated non-violent corner of the classroom where they're asked to interpret the following lyrics from Bodhisattva Vow, my favorite Beastie Boys song.

If Others Disrespect Me Or Give Me Flack
I'll Stop And Think Before I React
Knowing That They're Going Through Insecure Stages
I'll Take The Opportunity To Exercise Patience
I'll See It As A Chance To Help The Other Person
Nip It In The Bud Before It Can Worsen
Only Love Can Conquer Hate In Every Situation
We Need Other People In Order To Create
The Circumstances For The Learning That We're Here To Generate
Situations That Bring Up Our Deepest Fears
So We Can Work To Release Them Until They're Cleared
Therefore, It Only Makes Sense
To Thank Our Enemies Despite Their Intent

Most of my students have never met a Jewish person who blends in Buddhism. (A JewBu, thankyouverymuch.) So they're not used to looking at their enemies in quite the same way that I am. Hopefully, this perspective helps to make them more well-rounded human beings.

Less likely to pull a Gat on your ass, at any rate.

This little ditty does more than just help my students. It helps me.

Everyone has That Song, right? That Song that picks you up when you're feeling down. The perfect anecdote to a troubled time. Keeps you sane while fruitlessly looking for Passover Matzo and dealing with store clerks who "never heard of it."

Yep. Here's my sanity song. Enjoy.

Bodhisattva Vow - Beastie Boys

Hillary Lost It

I was willing to look past the Bosnia thing. Yes, Hillary Clinton told people she arrived there in '96 under sniper fire when the landing was instead quiet and uneventful.

Whatever. Reagan told people he liberated Nazi camps.

But now she's taken an honest assessment from Barack Obama about rural voters' frustrations -

"It's not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

- and, with the help of the media, turned it into a shitstorm. For what? Certainly not for the sake of rural voters. She's not helping our country. Hillary Clinton is just desperately trying to win the Democratic nomination. And she doesn't care who she destroys to get there.

To a certain extent, this was always true about Bill and Hillary. But the good that President Clinton planned to do and actually did for our country in the 1990s, for me, made him the best possible candidate for office.

The same cannot be said, today, for his wife.

Desperate is so not hot. And this comment she made, in addition to being a lie, is also desperate and deplorable.

"I also disagree with Senator Obama's assertion that people in this country 'cling to guns' and have certain attitudes about immigration or trade simply out of frustration," Clinton added.

She said this with a straight face?

If Hillary Clinton somehow manages to lie and divide and hate her way to the top of the Democratic ticket, she can forget about my vote. She's not the best that we can do. She and her husband have allowed their impressive legacy to be tarnished by what is, at its core, a power-hungry grab to stay relevant.

Sad.

Hmmm...President McCain. The sound of it makes me sick. Hillary Clinton is moving us ever closer to that unfortunate reality.

I Don't Stand Alone

For those with money to throw away, the newest trend: Parenting Coaches.

What’s that? Check it out.

A Parenting Coach will observe how you interact with your children, explain the problem, and then tell you how to solve it.

In other words, a Parenting Coach is my Aunt Nora.

For the record, I don’t find anything wrong with clueless parents actually purchasing a clue and trying to better themselves for their children’s sake. Parents should take responsibility for what is the most important job in the world.

However, I find it interesting that a person who coaches for a living had this to say:

Why pay a stranger to meddle in your family affairs? Most simply want support and validation. Some are lured by the miracle cures on “Nanny 911.” Many live far from close family and friends and feel unsure of where to turn for reliable advice.

That’s the ticket.

They don’t have my mom, my dad, my siblings, my Uncle Joe, my Aunt Mimi, my cousins or years of wisdom stored and remembered from my Nana. In our society of fractured extended families, a professional is the next best thing.

Is it okay that I find that sorta sad? But wait a minute... It’s hard to face reality sometimes and the reality of it is – I’m one of those people who lives in a fractured extended family.

There are certain times when I feel it more than others. For example, my next door neighbor watches my children for about an hour after school each day. She’s moving in a few weeks. If I were near family, this wouldn’t be an issue. Luckily, Husband and I are able to work it out for the last few weeks of school. But when I think about how easy it *could* be...

Whenever Husband and I are faced with what seems like an insurmountable problem, we look to our family for help and advice. But I can’t help feeling a bit isolated from the lot of them who are back on the East Coast. Even when we lived in Florida, northern relatives visited quite often.

None of them come out here.

Without hesitation, friends are wonderful. We’ve got a few buddies here in Colorado Springs who understand what it’s like to be away from family. Andrea makes sure her kids and our kids hook up for not just the big things like holidays and birthdays, but for practice running a football and she always includes me for mid-week girls’ nights out.

Take Aaron and Melissa for example. Aaron signed on to be Husband’s assistant coach for our children’s flag football team. He’s out there every Saturday morning, running around and dealing with mouthbreathers - for *our* kids. Melissa attends the games. When our boys had their skating lesson recital, both Aaron and Melissa were there to cheer them on.

Hopefully, we all have made living far away from family a bit easier on each other.

But that doesn't mean we all don’t realize what we’re missing. We know. We just don’t know quite what to do about it yet.

My large and loving family is behind me one hundred and ten percent. And I wouldn’t be able to make it work so far away from them without their love and support.

But just because we can, does that mean we should? And what are we teaching our children?

Friends are terrific, but family is forever.

I'm afraid that lesson is getting lost somewhere over the Continental Divide.

Way to Be Supportive, Lou

Every child's sports team has a Lou - that loudmouth, know-it-all character from Parenthood.

For those who've never seen this outstanding cinematic salute to the most-rewarding yet worst-paying job ever, let me clue you in on one of its finer characters.

Lou is a pain in the ass. He stands on the sidelines of little-league games berating the parents, coach, kids, and sometimes his own child.

Sound familiar?

We have a Lou on our kids' flag-football team. Angry Mother's got female parts, sort of, but everything else is the same right down to dirty whiskers and beer breath.

Angry Mother tried to start an email fight with Husband (AKA Coach) last week. When she arrived at the game, all hungover and a half-hour late, she yelled at her kid to "throw long" and "run hard" while he ignored her and another Team Mother prayed for her.

I love this town.

Even her husband, at one point, had to tell her to be quiet.

I laughed heartily at her latest round of emails. Seems she's a nightmare for every team with which she's associated. Not just ours. Check it.

To: Parents
From: Mr. Robinson
Just a quick email to let everyone know that picture day is this Saturday, April 12th, 2008. Our scheduled time is 9:40a.

To: Mr. Robinson
From: Angry Mother
Practice???? If so, where? We have a problem with the changing of fields all the time. I know you said Inferior High* was always the practice site however, they are still moving back and forth. Maybe it will straighten out itself.

(Husband didn't respond back. Cause Angry Mother obviously can't read and plus he has a life to lead. Besides he got this quick follow-up.)

To: Mr. Robinson
From: Angry Mother
Sorry Mr. Robinson. The last email was supposed to go to another coach for my older child :(

Good to know. Misery loves company after all.

Is This a Sign?

Day before yesterday, I get another call from my children's principal. This time telling me that the kid with Down Syndrome pushed Youngest against the wall.

Fantastic.

"I investigated it, Ms. Robinson, and Youngest wasn't to blame. This attack was completely unprovoked."

No kidding.

Youngest didn't seem too upset about it.

"Did you push him back?" I asked.

"No," Youngest said. "He's handicapped. I just told him to calm down."

Good for him.

I sent off this letter that evening. An excerpt -

Dear School Board Members,

My twin sons attend Mouthbreather's Elementary. Their education this year has been fine and I'm pleased to say that their report cards have been excellent - both in behavior and academic categories. I've attended teacher conferences and have been in regular contact with Miss Blah Blah, who teaches Youngest, and Mrs. HooHah, who teaches Oldest.

Three of Youngest's classmates have caused conflict with both Oldest and Youngest and their names are Larry, Curly, and Moe.

(This is where I outline the nonsense. You can read about it here and here and here.)

Frustrated, I called a meeting for myself, my husband, Mrs. HoohHah, Miss Blah Blah and Mr. Principal on 04.03.08. Miss Blah Blah was especially defensive and said that Oldest and Youngest were equally to blame for these issues. I told her that I found this hard to believe since their report cards were so terrific and I'd received no such feedback before. I wondered if maybe these incidents occurred due to Larry, Curly and Moe's specific challenges.

Miss Blah Blah said all children had challenges and she would not label her students.

When we were trying to figure out why two smart and well-behaved children were such targets, Mr. Principal and both teachers suggested Oldest and Youngest's confidence, athleticism, and intelligence might be to blame. I'm not sure how to solve my children's confidence "problems", but a reasonable understanding of this situation seems beyond the grasp of the parties in play.

Therefore I am contacting you.

I am concerned with the actions of these children and even more concerned with the reactions of the educators involved, especially Miss Blah Blah. Her willingness to blame the victims (our children) has grown tiresome. Mr. Principal is always kind to me and my husband, but doesn't seem to hold his teachers accountable for their participation in what is obviously a mess of a situation.

A fair and equal education for all does not mean that every child is treated the same; it means that every child gets what he or she needs.

To indicate that children with disabilities, behavior problems and emotional needs are the same as the two well-behaved children that they are picking on is beyond the realm of my understanding.

Oldest and Youngest will not be attending Mouthbreathers Elementary next year. I cannot and will not put them into a situation where they are targeted for being confident and able students or athletes. I cannot and will not sit them in classrooms with teachers who blame them for being targeted and refuse to see that the behavior problems of special needs students are the real issue.

In summary, I am angry about the children who exhibit agressive behavior in Miss Blah Blah's class and the way they have pushed and punched Oldest and Youngest. But I am even more upset with Miss Blah Blah and Mrs. HooHah, who blame Oldest and Youngest for the attacks, and a principal who defends their right to do so.

I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,

Catherine Durkin Robinson

And the fun continues...

Not So Surprising

A report by ABC News shows that soldiers over in Iraq want to come home and are supporting the candidates working toward that end.

Shocker.

One such soldier said,

"My biggest issue is support for the military, military funding and our deployments, not having long deployments anymore. Because [the] majority of us are doing ...15-month deployments. So, it's tough on the soldiers and tough on the soldiers' families. Those are really my biggest issues."

Then Obama is your man.

No wonder John "100 more years" McCain wasn't mentioned.

Not even once.

h/t Steve

Thanks Bob Schaffer!

Big Oil Bob, that is...



I'm not one of these left-wingers who blames only oil companies and shady politicians for high gas prices.

Boneheads who own Hummers and other SUVs are a big part of the problem. I'm willing to bet that if more people walked, carpooled, used public transportation or simply stayed home - those prices would come down in a hurry. Big Oil is making outrageous profits because they can.

Still. Politicians like Bob Schaffer certainly aren't helping.

How Does Destroying Other Families Help Yours?

Vote No.

Ooooh - a pin!

Tuesday, April 8th, is North End Drinking Liberally’s monthly meeting.

Bring a guest and get a Drinking Liberally pin! (Limited to the first 5 regulars who bring a new guest.)

April’s meeting will be held at (you guessed it) 7:30pm at Champp’s Restaurant and Bar, located in the Shops at Briargate, 1765 Briargate Pkwy.

Kids can come, too, so no excuses; come join the crowd and the fun!

Is Everyone in This Town Bananas?

Husband was asked to be head coach for our children's flag football team. Only 2 kids showed up for the first game.

He sent this email out to all parents:

Hello Everyone!

Was great to meet part of the team on Saturday. Can't wait to meet the rest of the team.

We will definitely need some practice time and I'm hoping to do it this Thursday evening April 3rd at 5:30p behind Mouthbreathers* Elementary at Some Park Named After a Racist Cowboy*. It's an open field with plenty of room to practice. It would be great if some of the parents could help us on the field to get the kids acclimated to some plays.

Please confirm via email whether or not you'll be able to participate this Thursday.

Thanks everyone!

One of the absent parents sent him this reply, which copied the above email, which she obviously didn't read:

Mr. Robinson, great lack of communication.....

My husband took our son to Inferior High* Tonight, Friday. Needless to say this area's sports program might NOT be the best....

Angry Mother

PS will you be at there at 9 am Saturday, April 5th.?????????????????????????????

Oh dear God, give me strength. She mixed up the date and place and blamed Husband for it.

Wrong week to start this nonsense, sweetheart.

Can't wait to meet her in a few hours.

Create A Caption Contest

Three words: What a Mess

Met with my children's principal and teachers yesterday.

I'm still trying to process everything, so give me a minute. My demand to these educators - stop Tyler* yourselves or stop punishing my children when they stop him.

The principal is a nice guy. He means well. My children's teachers seem kind and patient as well. They assured me that bullying has no place in their school. They also believe that some bullying *probably* occurred. But no one has actually seen Tyler punch or push and so it's been impossible to document the nonsense.

Teacher #2 said that in the arguments she's witnessed, with nothing physical occurring, my boys were just as much to blame as the other kid. Because they're bold.

"Umm, you've never raised a red flag about my kids before," I said. "In fact, we just got the boys' report cards and they're near perfect. Now all of a sudden, today, they're part of the problem?"

Silence.

"Besides," I said, "being bold doesn't excuse bullying behavior. Tyler has certain challenges, does he not?"

"All children have challenges," Teacher #2 snapped. "I won't assign labels regarding our students."

"That's fine in the classroom," Husband said. "But here we are behind closed doors and don't you think Tyler's special needs have something to do with his outbursts?"

"They're just boys being boys," Teacher #1 said. "All of them."

"My children and Tyler are not equal," I said.

"To me they are," Teacher #2 said.

Fantastic.

So what else?

Well. Turns out our kids walk with a swagger. So there's that.

"I wouldn't say they're cocky," Principal continued. "But they are confident. They communicate well."

"Oldest is my strongest math student," Teacher #1 said.

"Youngest is my best reader," Teacher #2 said.

"They don't hesitate to say they're great basketball players," Principal said.

I was getting chastised because my children are..what exactly?

"These aren't bad things," Principal said. "Your children are also sensitive and sweet. Kind to everyone and very polite. It's just that their more mature qualities make them a bit of a target with the other kids who don't excel as much."

Wonderful.

I can work on their boldness and propensity to believe they are the next Michael Jordans. But I won't break their spirit or tell them to be less than who they are.

I suppose the latter problem comes down to this - keep them in a neighborhood school where they will either dumb themselves down to fit in or eventually isolate themselves in what - chess club?

The alternative might be to find somewhere they can learn alongside smart, well-behaved children. But the more affluent schools are filled with druggies and prep schools are filled with petulant snobs.

Hillel have any openings?

But therein lies the rub. Do children surrounded by likeminded children learn the necessary coping skills required to get along in the world?

On the other hand, do kids really lose anything by being allowed an education free from drama and underachieving bullies?

In the end, the principal and teachers said they would keep an eye out for swinging fists. They were confident that the talks and behavior plan in place with Tyler would work its magic. My kids seem fine, until they have to put this kid in his place again.

I'm glad the principal and teachers were confident things would improve.

I'm not confident about anything.

Except that this parenting gig is harder than it looks.

My Favorite Movie

In five seconds.



...more like twenty-two.

I gotta rent that again. It's been too long.

Should We Fight for South Ossetia?

I agree with Pat Buchanan.

Wow. That doesn't *feel* right, but it's true.

As Anatol Lieven writes in the Financial Times, McCain supports a restoration of Georgian rule over Abkhazia and South Ossetia, and NATO membership for Georgia and Ukraine. He wants to throw Russia out of the G-8 — and talks flippantly of bombing Iran.

Says McCain, "I would institute a policy called 'rogue state rollback.' I would arm, train, equip, both from without and from within, forces that would eventually overthrow the governments and install free and democratically elected governments."

Wonderful. A Second Crusade for Global Democracy. But with the Joint Chiefs warning of a war-weary Army and Marine Corps, who will fight all the new wars the neocons and their new champion have in store for us?

Next thing you know, I'll be wanting William Safire's new book...

Oh my.

Looks Like A Love Toy Collection

Nine year-olds can be vicious.

Especially girls.

In rural Georgia.

Special ed kids...what a surprise. And where were the parents?

God bless our teachers. We don't get paid nearly enough.

Chapter 5

The plot thickens...

Read all about it. Before it costs ya. (That's right, I'm talking to you, QJ)

And thanks.

Good One

Local radio stations and news outlets were had this morning. Someone sent them all an email that *seemed* legitimate...

It is with great regret that the district must inform our patrons that our CSAP exams must be retaken at the high school level. Over the last several days the district has been in contact with Colorado Department of Education (CDE) over a small fraction of exam booklets that were destroyed during transportation. The district has appealed that the damaged test booklets be waived from being included in the 2007-2008 CSAP results. Unfortunately, CDE has found that this would bring the district in under the required 95% of students to be tested and the appeal was denied.

Academy School District 20 prides itself upon a strong tradition of academic excellence. We believe that the students at Air Academy, Aspen Valley, Discovery Canyon, Liberty, Pine Creek, Rampart and The Classical Academy will rise to meet this setback with a great deal of resilient character and academic integrity.

CDE has agreed to allow an extended testing window of two weeks for the district to complete the exams. This testing window will occur April 7th through April 18th. Over the next few weeks, ninth and tenth grade students will be retaking the exams during their regularly scheduled English classes. Junior and senior English classes will not be affected.

Students were freaking out before officials announced it was an April Fool's joke.

Dad's Birthday Is Just Days Away...

I was so busy laughing, I forgot to be offended.

h/t Becky