At What Price, Vanity?

I ain't gonna front, y'all. Recovery from surgery is still kicking my ass.

After any major overhaul, docs prescribe antibiotics to prevent infection. Defenses are lowered so the victim, err patient, is susceptible to all kinds of problems. Like strep throat. Another dose of antibiotics is prescribed.

Week or two later, all is right with the world.

Except maybe not.

After five or six days experiencing the kind of pain normally only associated with Guinea worm disease, I finally went to my primary care physician. Turns out, all those antibiotics kill good bacteria as well. Good bacteria cleans out our digestive tract and makes us smile the kind of smile that can only come from regularity.

The bratt diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast and tea) is only so much help. Anyone else have any suggestions, I'd appreciate it. Just don't tell me to blow it out my ass.

Will Be There in Spirit

Governor Howard Dean
Chair, Democratic National Committee

Will be in Denver at a benefit for
the Colorado Democratic Party

THURSDAY, MAY 10, 2007
6:30 - 7:30 p.m. (doors open at 6:00 p.m.)
PIPEFITTERS LOCAL 208 UNION HALL
6350 N. Broadway
Denver, CO 80216

TICKETS $30
Reserve a spot with your credit card at:
http://coloradodems.us/events/deanmay
or call (303) 623-4762.

To pay by check, please drop off at 777 Santa Fe Drive, Denver, CO 80204 or pay at the door the day of the event

Who's Meaner: Liberals or Conservatives?

I am many things rolled into one complicated and yummy mess.

Politically, though, I self-identify as a liberal, progressive Democrat.

Democrat thing is easy. I'm registered as a Dem and have worked for them since I was eighteen.

What makes me liberal/progressive? Coupla things. I am:

pro-choice.

pro-union.

almost always anti-war.

a card-carrying member of the ACLU.

funny.

funny-looking.

a fan of the whole "de-criminalizing drugs" thing.

good in bed.

in favor of gay marriage.

in favor of our government caring more for the poor and the sick.

in favor of universal health care.

Jewish.

listening to NPR.

for gun control.

for the separation of church and state.

open to new ideas.

sickened at the sight of Ronald Reagan.

working hard to reverse the effects of global warming.

a delight.

I am also against affirmative action and for the death penalty. Big fan of Israel, too. These are conservative viewpoints. And, for some, means I am not, in fact, liberal.

I say nonsense. Means I'm a *free-thinking* liberal. Best kind.

My views don't keep me at odds with anyone really. Friends with members of all political parties and persuasions. Told you. I'm a delight. However, I do sometimes get hate mail and nasty comments about such views.

Which leads to a rather startling discovery.

Liberals are way meaner than conservatives. Who knew? And better yet, why? Conservatives who disagree with me are almost always polite. Whether offering me eternal salvation, good talks, or good times, they come across as polite, complimentary and concerned. Some tease and joke about my flower-child ways, but the correspondence and, in some instances, subsequent friendships are positive and enlightening.

Liberals who disagree with me hate my ass. They threaten my job, resort to personal attacks without an ounce of humor, and send nasty-grams that would make Rosie O'Donnell shudder. I may write 400 posts that champion the left-wing, three or four that do not are picked apart and misconstrued.

At any rate, I'm just surprised is all. Why are conservatives so nice when it's clear we disagree on just about everything? Are you hoping I'll come around?

Well, keep hoping. I may disagree with your politics, but I like your hearts and souls. And that's more important anyway.

Hey, I Know That Pregnant Lady!

Last night, teachers were out in force telling local media and our school board about the bad decision-making process that results in less planning time for teachers next year. (Watch the videos and spot familiar faces!)

Most every MSM outlet is on the bandwagon, trying to imply that now elementary, middle and high school teachers will be teaching an equal amount of time. Keep repeating that lie and no doubt most will start to believe it.

In the end, though, we all know that this is going to hurt our kids, our community, ourselves. Less time for everything because of a lack of leadership or accountability.

Related news:

"In the past few weeks, 702 teachers were notified their jobs are being cut in August because of course and schedule changes, said Joe Perez, a district personnel services manager."

A new video has been added here regarding last night's demonstration.

Another take on the meeting.

And yet another.

National Call-In Day to Support the Freedom of Choice Act

Wednesday, April 25
Call 202-224-3121

Use NARAL's script:"Please cosponsor the Freedom of Choice Act (H.R.1964/S.1173) to codify Roe v. Wade and guarantee the right to choose for future generations of women."

If you can't call, click here to send an email to your members of Congress in support of the Freedom of Choice Act. Please take a moment to call - phone calls are still the most effective way to get the attention of your members of Congress.

Pasco County is joining the 50 State Outreach again!

We have planned 3 events that you can join up with this Saturday:

1. Dade City - East Pasco

The East Pasco Democrats will be walking Precinct 19 in Dade City on Saturday. For fun, let's also see how many confederate flags we can count.

Click here to join this walk through the Democratic National Committee (DNC)

______________________________________________________________

2. Heritage Pines - Northwest Pasco

The Heritage Pines Democratic Club will be organizing their precinct for a walk through the neighborhood, and a phone bank. Try not to get hit by all the old folks out in their walkers.

Click here to join this walk through the Democratic National Committee (DNC)

______________________________________________________________

3. New Port Richey - West Pasco

Ron Rice will be organizing the Pasco County outreach, and is planning a phone bank on the West side of Pasco County. Where the men are men and the sheep are nervous.

Click here to join this walk through the Democratic National Committee (DNC)

This I Like

Shannon Peck is a teacher at Freedom High School who perfectly outlines exactly why educators are protesting tonight. Read more here.

So proud of my fellow teachers. If you can make it to tonight's school board meeting, throw some support our way. We need all the help we can get.

An Assessment

Yesterday marked six weeks since surgery. A glorious moment when all bandages can be removed and regular activity resumed. (No, not picture worthy yet.)

Many of you (read: two or three) have remarked that cosmetic surgery will no longer be considered after reading about my recovery. Let me tell you this - getting well after such surgery is a lengthy and arduous process. Forgive me if I complained a bit too loudly. I hated lying around, doing nothing and never got used to the aches and pains resulting from trying to actually get up and *do* something.

Still. Worth it. If I only outlined the negatives, let me change that right now.

Do you exercise daily, weigh less than you should, yet still wanna hurl when getting out of the shower? A tummy tuck/breast reduction might be for you. Worked for me anyway.

Benefits:

- Three words: goodbye granny panties.

- Wearing a bathing suit without causing psychological harm in others.

- Going into Victoria's Secret and buying a bra right off the rack. (This beats having to ask salespeople who stutter, look confused, and then angrily get out the catalog to "place an order for one of those big sizes.")

- Walking around the house in pajamas. Family members no longer close their eyes and look away in an attempt to go to their happy place, muttering "Put on a robe for Christ's sake."

- Wearing a t-shirt and shorts and leaving behind all the previously necessary contraptions that used to keep everything in place.

- Pissing off angry, ugly, fat feminists.

- Being able to purchase undergarments that don't require a small loan to afford.

- Giving away forty-five different underwire bras, gut-be-gones and girdles to Goodwill because you will never, ever need them again.

- Letting him reach for you without worries.

- Showing him what's next with the lights *on*.

I said it about the Brazilian wax and I'll say it about this: Go for it, girls. You won't be sorry.

I Guess That Means The Losers Remain Teachers

An email I received:

Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?

Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in an elementary, middle or high school classroom for 1 school year. Each will be provided with a copy of his/her school district's curriculum and a class of 28-32 students.

Each class will have a minimum of five learning-disabled children, three with A.D.D., one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three students will be labeled with severe behavior problems.

Each business person must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance, with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organize, or create their materials accordingly. They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences. They must also stand in their doorway between class changes to monitor the hallways.

In addition, they will complete fire drills, tornado drills, and [Code Red] drills for shooting attacks each month.

They must attend workshops, faculty meetings, and curriculum development meetings. They must also tutor students who are behind and strive to get their 2 non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the PSSA tests or ______. If they are sick or having a bad day, they must not let it show.

Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, and math into the program. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment to motivate students at all times. If all students do not wish to cooperate, work, or learn, the teacher will be held responsible.

The business people will only have access to the public golf course on the weekends, but with their new salary, they may not be able to afford it. There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and lunch will be limited to thirty minutes, which is not counted as part of their work day. The business people will be permitted to use a student restroom, as long as another Survival candidate can supervise their class.

If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials before, or after, school. However, they cannot surpass their monthly limit of copies. The business people must continually advance their education, at their expense, and on their own time.

The winner of this season of Survivor will be allowed to return to his/her job.

h/t Patricia

The Drama Continues

Parents feel free to criticize teachers, especially parents who have troubled children. They don't realize we're on the same team.

And they sure as hell can't stand up to the same scrutiny.

First, acquaint yourself with the story. Then read the mom's rebuttal.

If the school would let the parent know when a child skipped class, that would
be great also. Alot of times he is put in another class and teachers forget
and call him absent.

He tells me that he doesn't have any homework. He never had homework in his classes in middle school . Everything was done in the classroom. I am not told any different from any teacher until final grades come out. Maybe someone should show interest in Adam and get him back on track, instead of just failing him with no conference with his parents. Has anyone set a conference with me?? other than an IEP meeting in December, I got no communication, until we discovered Edline reports, in March. Superior's teachers are too busy to be involved with someone like Adam. He had A's and B's and C's in middle school. I believe it is the teachers that are not experienced enough to deal with Adam. There are ways to teach Adam and make him want to do good. But most teachers just give up as you have and give him F's

My response:

Hi there,

So nice to hear from you again.

I'm not sure you understand the role of a high school teacher or our policies here at Superior High School. Luckily, I'm happy to help.

We are trying to prepare our students for the real world where they will be held accountable for their actions. Our educators know how to teach and deal with all kinds of students, Adam included. We do not benefit from parents assigning blame when they've never attended a conference night (we have four a year), requested a private meeting, or set foot inside our classrooms. Your son has many issues, most of which began long before he arrived in our school. Perhaps you'd do better to sort out those particular problems before coming down on his teachers. We see Adam for fifty minutes a day and cannot possibly undo sixteen years of unaccountability and bad
habits.

If Adam comes to class prepared and eager to learn, I will gladly
do the rest. An "F" is a reflection of his work or lack thereof, Mrs. Moonhead,
not a reflection of the teacher. Adam will never learn to be a responsible adult
if his mother continues to make excuses and blame others.

Please read this more than once if you need to: When Adam doesn't work, then his consequence here is a failing grade. When Adam breaks our rules, his consequence is
detention or suspension. If these consequences don't work, then I'd suggest
holding him accountable at home. After all, Mrs. Moonhead, you see him for more
than fifty minutes every day. It's really up to you.

We can only help those who help themselves.

Have a wonderful weekend.

She sent back another email quickly and her final decision should surprise no one. I want to tell her that Adam has exhausted his options and that I'm the only show in town. I want to tell her, "Good luck with that." I want to tell her to get help before it's too late.

But I won't. Less than five weeks left in the school year, I am hoping she takes a deep breath and thinks about it.

Anyway, I'll give her the last word. This is her final email. So far, anyway.

I really see now why you have no success with Adam. I want another teacher
assigned. You are something else I tell you.

The Tampa Tribune Thinks Teachers Are Lazy

Reading the paper this weekend did not help to cure whatever stomach virus made its way into my system. (Or, as Oldest put it when answering the phone, "Mommy can't talk right now. She has the poops.")

Of course I'm talking about the latest attack on educators. This time in the editorial pages of the Trib.

Here is my response:

Dear Editor:

Your recent editorial attacking teachers won't help the public understand what is at stake in our high schools next year. You spent too little space outlining our superintendent's inadequate communication skills and too much time imploring teachers to play along.

Parents left out of redistricting discussions last year, teachers left out of scheduling decisions this year. Tell me: What is the best way to handle such a display of totalitarian leadership and the inevitable fall-out that occurs?

Instead of stressing the benefits of teachers and administrators working together, you continue to try pitting teacher against teacher, once again comparing high
school teachers to elementary school teachers. Divide and conquer will not work
in this situation. Most teachers are disappointed and frustrated with leadership
that devalues all of us. Repeating Elia's talking points, suggesting a raise
most of us aren't banking on, only makes your views less legitimate.

Teachers are not calling on co-workers to do the bare minimum. We aren't
threatening when we speak the truth about our ever-growing list of duties and
responsibilities at odds with enough hours in the day. We aren't whining when we
point out the difficulties resulting from a lack of quality leadership that
undermines our very existence and a community that misunderstands our roles.
Your editorial, with half-truths and faulty comparisons, does nothing to improve
the situation.

And you suggest we respond with silence. You believe we should play along. What kind of lesson would that teach our kids?

Our students are watching a superintendent who does her own thing no matter who is harmed. They are watching a school board give in to her every whim. They are
also watching their teachers come together to speak out against bad policies that
will negatively affect everyone. They are watching us speak up for our schools,
our jobs, our passion. Students are watching us speak up for them.

Haven't you heard? Those who can, teach. We can and we will fight for
what's right. Our students deserve nothing less.

There. My stomach feels much better.

My Sister Calls This: Spoken Like a Man Who Doesn't Have Kids

My brother hasn't had any children yet. But that doesn't stop him from dispensing valuable advice. From time to time, I will chronicle his words of wisdom here. So that future generations will benefit from his genius.

Boys discover their penises around toddler time. And thus begins a lifelong love affair.

Once, when I was bathing my babies and Oldest grabbed onto himself, I winced and said,

"Sweetie, you wanna relax? That's gotta hurt."

I attempted to move his baby hand away. Didn't want the kid to damage himself. Brother, who was visiting, closed his eyes and shook his head.

"Katie," he said, "don't ever tell a man how to touch his testicles."

Long pause.

"Ever."

What did I say? Genius. Another:

My nephew doesn't want his pacifier. Keeps spitting it out.

Brother's advice:

"Secure the pacifier with a rubber band around the kid's head. When he spits it out - WAPOW - goes right back in. That'll teach him."

Dude should write a book.

What Would You Tell Two Precious Seven Year-Olds

When they look at flagpoles and ask, "Who died, Mommy?"

You Don't Have to Be a Laid-Off Trib Reporter to be Sick of Media Consolidation

The FCC is again threatening to loosen media ownership rules—allowing a few massive corporations to swallow up even more local newspapers, radio stations, and TV stations. On Monday, April 30th, the FCC is coming to Tampa for a rare public hearing on media ownership.

In wake of all the layoffs at The Tampa Tribune, the FCC couldn't come at a better time.

This may be the only time the FCC will be in Tampa. The hearing will feature an open mic for you to speak personally to three of the five FCC commissioners about media consolidation.

Here are the details:

WHAT: FCC Hearing on Media Ownership
WHEN: 4 p.m. to 11 p.m., Monday, April 30th
WHERE: Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center , Louise Lykes Ferguson Hall, 1010 North W.C. MacInnes Place , Tampa, FL

For details or driving directions, click here.

If you want help preparing your testimony, there are workshops in Tampa on Thursday and next Saturday. For details, click the link above. Or just come on April 30th and speak from the heart.

Weekend Plans

I'm down with Earth Day. Obviously. Liberal and all.

However, I cannot stand being outdoors unless it's cloudy and hovering around seventy degrees. Or colder. Big fan! Unfortunately for me, Florida is not conducive to that kind of weather and so I stay inside.

A lot.

Oh, I want our environment preserved. For generations to come, though, not for me. Please. I'm an indoors girl.

Defenders of Wildlife is all kinds of excited about this year's celebration:

What could be a better time to celebrate the beauty and importance of the
world’s precious ecosystems and its amazing wildlife than to actually experience
nature’s wonder with a child in your life?

Take Defenders of Wildlife’s Earth Day Future Pledge!
Promise to take your child, grandchild, niece, nephew or another young person in
your life out to enjoy nature this weekend at a wildlife refuge, park or forest
near you.

Founded 37 years ago, Earth Day has always been about celebrating the rich
natural heritage that we’ll leave to future generations. That’s why it’s so
important that we take the time to experience the joy of nature with the young
people in our lives.

No thanks. You go, though. Enjoy.

Lowry Park is having its own Earth Day celebration this Sunday from 11am-4pm. Lots of presentations, ways to get involved, music, etc.

Now that sounds like something I can get behind. If the sun isn't out.

NBC Sure Does Suck

The good news is, though, they seem to listen.

Take the Don Imus nonsense. Never was a fan of the Grump Man and never understood why so many talented and influential people graced him with their presence. His jokes were stale, humor offensive. Plus he has the face of a deflated tire.

So not hot.

After years of slurs against women and black people, NBC got an earful from their own employees, along with thousands of other concerned citizens, and gave Don the boot.

Then came the tragedy at Virginia Tech and NBC went and plastered video and pictures of the shooter all over their television stations. Giving the murderer exactly what he wanted - fame and notoriety.

What does this tell angry, misunderstood, removed-from-reality wanna-be murderers out there?

They will be heard. They will be feared. They will be admired.

They will be famous.

All they have to do is kill lots of people.

Thanks, NBC.

Not An Oliver Stone Fan, But...

MoveOn is launching an important new project with their friends at VoteVets.org that will use the power of internet video to help spread the truth about how veterans and military families feel about the war.

The project is called VideoVets: Bring Our Troops Home and it contains some of the most compelling stories about this war that you've ever heard. These brave men and women want to put us on a course to start bringing our troops home.

Please watch these videos and tell us which one you think is most compelling.

Academy Award winning director Oliver Stone will take the video you choose and turn it into a TV ad—spreading this message even further.

Take part today.

Embarrassing

Floriduh - again.

Sometimes These Posts Just Write Themselves

Some background: Parents send nastygrams to teachers every day. Here is an example of one such parents' initial contact with me. I changed nothing except the kid's name and identifying characteristics.

Enjoy. Or not. Completely up to you.

Her email:

I am very upset on why you keep doing note book checks and giving Adam "F's"when Adam has a problem with organization. He just cant get organized. Why don't you try grading him on his history skills. You are grading someone who has Asbergers Disorder. That is his disability. They don't have any organizational skills.
Please change how you grade my son. You are failing him for his disability.

This was my response:

Dear Mrs. Moonhead,

Nice to meet you.

Since you were polite enough to introduce yourself, let me do the same. I'm Catherine Robinson, Adam's History teacher. Adam came to find himself in my 2nd period class after disturbing several other classrooms this year at Superior High School. When Adam was caught throwing rocks at the school's windows, he led several teachers on a foot chase down the street and into a restaurant before surrendering. Therefore, it should not surprise you that Adam's presence in my classroom has been distracting for other students and he has shown little concern for my classroom's policies or assignments.

While I would love nothing more than to grade your child based on his history skills, I cannot. See, Adam has only turned in two assignments. He'd much rather throw Skittles at his fellow students. Adam's lack of organization is the least of his issues and not really a factor in my grading system. Appreciate your feedback, though.

In related news, I had to write a referral because Adam was in school yesterday but did not attend my class. Student Affairs has no record of him signing out.

Is truancy also a sign of Asperger's Syndrome?

You take care.

Sincerely,
Catherine Durkin Robinson

Hey. At least I wrote "Dear" and "Sincerely". That's gotta count for something.

Supreme Court - Bad Move

Senator John Edwards released the following statement about today's 5-4 Supreme Court ruling upholding the federal abortion ban.

"I could not disagree more strongly with today's Supreme Court decision. The ban upheld by the Court is an ill-considered and sweeping prohibition that does not even take account for serious threats to the health of individual women. This hard right turn is a stark reminder of why Democrats cannot afford to lose the 2008 election. Too much is at stake - starting with, as the Court made all too clear today, a woman's right to choose."

A Colorado Cause

Will be moving there soon. (Thinking positive and all.) So here's a little something to make it a more progressive home for all of us.

Don't let James Dobson drown out your voice.

The second parent adoption bill, HB 1330, has been passed by the
legislature and sent to Governor Ritter's desk to sign. This bill would allow a
second parent to adopt a child already adopted by a single parent. It’s an
important bill that would strengthen the families of same-sex couples.

Governor Ritter previously expressed support for this
sensible and compassionate bill. The bill also is supported by a wide range of
organizations representing mainstream Coloradans. But Dobson and
other radical right leaders are trying to drown out our support for this bill by
urging their supporters to express their opposition to the Governor.

Don't let Dobson and the radical right drown out your voice.
Click here to sign a petition supporting HB 1330 and basic fairness for ALL
Colorado families.

Small World

I don't believe in conspiracy theories.

Except for PMS, which totally does not exist, and was created by men who conspired to explain why females aren't equal to males. Because every month we are a hormonal mess. And we shouldn't be paid the same as men, who are hormonally fine every day of the year. Until someone breaks up with them or fires them or flunks them. Then they go ape shit and kill people.

But I digress.

Somewhere along the way women bought into PMS, but that doesn't make it legitimate. Be a b*tch, just don't blame it on your body. Whole thing is nonsense.

Where was I? Oh yes.

I don't believe in conspiracy theories.

Cause people who do are kinda nuts. And I got enough problems.

The other day, I was over at Tampa BLAB and came across this delightful diatribe.

I know that dude!

Grew up with his daughter and, along with everyone I've ever cared about, we still keep in touch today. I've even written about her a few times.

Charlie Cumpstone ain't part of no conspiracy. I know his kids. And they'd talk.

But boy. Do I have stories.

She Works Hard for the Money

Equal Pay Day is April 24th, the day on which women's wages catch up to men's wages for the prior year. To this day, women make just 77 cents for every dollar a man makes.

Here's what you can do:

• Write a letter to your congressman or senator encouraging them to support Senator Clinton's Paycheck Fairness Act. Click here for a sample letter.
• Email your friends about the legislation, and encourage them to do the same.
• Write a letter to the editor discussing the importance of Equal Pay.
• Click here to find out what the pay gap is in your state!

The O-Train Comes to Tampa

My kids and I got kicked out of the Barack Obama rally yesterday. And I wasn't even drunk.

Breaks down like this: When I called about the event last week, I asked if I could purchase a ticket for myself and take my two children along.

"How old are they?" the volunteer asked.

"Seven," I said.

"Sure," she said.

Yesterday, my boys and I got to the event and picked up my ticket. We waited in line about a half-hour and then walked past the gate and into the Cuban Club.

Which, by the way, I hadn't been to since the late 80s. Still smells like clove cigarettes. Used to be a regular at the Club's basement concerts. Last event: Suicidal Tendencies. I am not proud of this.

Anyway, as I'm experiencing flashbacks, a tall, skinny, blonde ran up to us and said,

"You all will have to leave."

I couldn't believe it. Hadn't even asked someone to feel my new breasts and belly. Yet.

"Why?" I asked.

"Your children need tickets or they'll have to wait outside."

"They can't wait outside without me. They're only seven."

"Then you're going to have to leave. Or you can go buy them tickets."

"They're seven," I repeated, incredulous. "A bit young to make a political contribution. They don't even know if they're supporting Senator Obama yet."

Nothing. Not even a smile. I took a deep breath and tried to go to my happy place. Was *not* going to pay an extra $50 for two kids who were more interested in Nintendo games than presidential hopefuls.


Have I mentioned they're seven?

"Listen," I said, "I talked to the campaign and..."

"They need tickets."

Okay, let's take a step back. I've been to dozens, damn near a hundred, political events. I've even helped organize a few. You never *ever* kick out kids.

Never. Ever.

"The campaign said..."

"Look, I'm just a volunteer," she said through a snarl. "Please leave."

I've been treated better at Bush rallies.

So I left. What else could I do? Then I decided to talk to someone in charge. Blondie wasn't going to have the last word.

Met three African-American women at the main table and said,

"My children and I were kicked out."

Explained the situation and all three women went nuts. Could not believe that we'd been told to leave. They grabbed two tickets and assured me this was a terrible mistake. Even gave me some bumper stickers. Then they walked me back inside to attend the event. I blew a kiss at Blondie and decided to move on mentally.

After the initial drama, I had a good time. Saw a few familiar faces. Stogie was all kinds of nice. Plenty of Pasco Dems. Joe Redner was there. Nice ass for an old guy.


I almost asked for free tickets to Mon's. Dying to go there before I move away. More than you know.

Back to the O-Train.

Place was packed. Senator Obama is more than a politician. I've never felt such energy at a rally before, people reacted with vigorous, animated, pumped-up enthusiasm - he's more like a rock star. He talked about how the country is ready to turn a page and start over. As I stood there in the sun, taking in his message of hope and renewal, I felt an optimism I hadn't felt since a young governor from Arkansas took the world by storm fifteen years ago. Felt awesome.

As Obama was leaving, he came over and shook hands with my little boys. Asked them how they were doing and shook my hand as well. Dude was so close, I could smell his cologne.

Hot.

By that time, I'd sort of forgotten all about Blondie. Even the best campaigns attract psycho hosebeasts.

Here is the Man of the Moment talking to my children who finally put down their Nintendos to say hello.



He's trying hard not to look at my perky breasts.


But who isn't?

Afterwards, Youngest said, "Mommy that was cool! I met Barack Obama and I did a report on him at school!"

Way cool, kid.

Okay, that's my Barack Obama story. Back to work, peeps.

Good Medicine

"Onward and upward, Kitefliers - we rise higher against the wind than with it!" - Kari Goetz

Most of my friends fall into two different categories. Ones with children lead relatively quiet lives, content with staying home except when Pampered Chef or scrapbook parties invade the neighborhood. Ones without children enjoy weekend debauchery and late night antics.

I find myself somewhere in-between these two extremes. Not interested in purchasing parties (although there is one very special exception) and over the drunken party routine, I shine brightest at theatre or gallery events, yummy wine tastings, lectures and political events.

Still awake?

Oh, I enjoy the tequila once in a while, but at thirty-seven years of age, grownup gatherings are my honey-and-cinnamon soaked cup of tea.

With husband out of town and dating outside the union still basically frowned-upon by most of society, plus my friends are so not interested, most of the time I attend such events alone. Whatever. Turns out, I'm pretty good company.

Last night was such an occasion. I ventured outdoors for the first time since surgery to attend The March of the Kitefliers before it ends its successful and celebrated run. I'm glad I did.

I won't pretend that watching The Karate Kid with my parents and children didn't tempt me to stay home. I almost gave in but a few well-timed emails imploring me to get off my ass and do something coaxed me out of my pajamas and sent me into downtown Tampa on a beautiful and windy evening.

So worth it.

David Jenkins and the rest of his talented company put on a thought-provoking, entertaining and funny show. What a likable group of characters! I know these people, hell, I am one of these people. They were banging out the well-written angst most of us go through when making the leap to Responsible Adult Land. We don't make that leap to grown-up jobs and lives without some serious trepidation.

Those of us with a brain and ability to use it anyway.

So I related to the issues. And let me just say that I'm impressed with the talent in this neck of the woods. Tampa has it going on - all you have to do is find it.

I can't help but wonder, and perhaps David can help me with this one: Are his tattoos real?

And where can I find a t-shirt that says "Little Lebowski Urban Achiever" - one of many witty shirts the characters wear.

I had a great time. If you can make the 4pm showing this afternoon, I highly recommend it.

Maybe weekends aren't so bad after all.

Moments in Mommy Magic

Youngest cried today because he had a sore toe. Put some medicine on said toe and gave him the same advice my Nana gave me so many years ago.

"Pee-pee in the shower, kid. You'll never have this problem again."

He looked at me and tried not to laugh.

"If it's organic, don't panic?" he asked.

I love my kids.

Weekends Suck

Who doesn't love two days off?

Umm. Me. That's who.

Breaks down like this: I go, go, go all week. Working, writing, mommy-ing. Good times. Keeps me focused on something other than the house is/isn't selling, my family is fragmented, everyone has a life but me, does this blouse make me look fat, etc.

Saturday arrives and, oh, I've got a few things going on, but most of the time I play with my kids and think about my life.

Thinking leads to dwelling and dwelling leads to blubbering. KnowwhatImean?

Rentals and YouTube are only so effective.

Then it becomes painfully clear.

This ain't livin'.

Front Page of Today's Trib

Hillsborough Teachers Actively Fighting Added Class Time

Some points to consider:

• School board members said this decision was Elia's to make and they won't try to reverse her decision this year. I believe that if enough teachers come together to warn of problems once this plan take effect and those problems come to fruition next year, the board will have plenty of ammunition and can throw Elia out. Fingers crossed.
• Michael Schutz, a teacher from Plant, asked a rowdy heckler at the last school board meeting to stop and told the person they were hurting the movement. I've expressed my concern to others about several teachers who are, seriously, insane and my desire NOT to be associated with them. Seriously. Insane.
• Elia clearly shows her incompetence when several board members remark that they heard about this rather huge change from parents and teachers instead of the superintendent. Others who heard from Elia said that she never told them the implications. Seriously. Insane.
• Elia said no one in the school district is going to lose their job. She's full of shit.
• Faliero hit the nail on the head. "People are finally reacting," she said. "They are actually standing for something. It's about time."

Democratic Divas

A new group of active, fabulous progressive women is forming in the Tampa Bay area.

What: Opening Lunch
When: April 21, 2007
Where: Giordano's
Time: Noon - 2pm
Other: The restaurant is located at 1131 Causeway Boulevard; Brandon
813.655.2828

Come join the fun!

Lessons to be Learned

My co-workers watch the news every day while eating lunch in our planning office. By the time I get there, the news is finished and Montel Williams is usually shouting about something. I almost always turn off the television and enjoy my nutritious meal in silence. However, the other day I left it on and paid the price in lost brain cells.

Montel's guest was talking about her traumatic experiences with a video voyeur. Whatever. One woman's creep is another woman's dreamboat. Seems this particular Peeping Tom set up a camera to film Montel's teary-eyed guest getting out of the shower (in a well-lit bathroom with open-for-the-world-to-see shutters) every day for six years. Please. I've had healthier relationships that didn't last as long. Victim cried through two commercial breaks and compared herself to a rape victim. Three times.

I know. B*tch has probably never been raped. Perp does a whole lot more than just watch your boobies.

The other day, a Pasco County woman choked on a piece of steak. Her boyfriend called 911 and was horribly mistreated. Several dispatchers, who should be fired if they hadn't resigned, either wouldn't or couldn't explain the Heimlich maneuver until finally someone walked the distraught and hysterical man through the process. Boyfriend tried and failed and the woman died.

Lesson: If you are naked and yawning and stretching in front of an open window, don't be surprised if someone notices. And takes pictures.

Lesson: If you are heavy, it's difficult to work the Heimlich maneuver on you. So enjoy those dead animals *cautiously*.

In both cases, others acted in horrendous and/or criminal manners. In both cases, the victims played a part in their own demise.

Just thought someone should point that out.

The People Have Spoken

Who is listening?

Well. We know who isn't: every Republican running for President.

See for yourself. Then maybe donate a buck or two. Good cause and all.

Virtual Town Hall Meeting on Iraq

The other night, seven Democratic candidates for president spoke directly to tens of thousands of progressives from coast to coast. Listening to the candidates compete for who has the best plan to bring our troops home—well, it's a big change from 2004. The visions they laid out could hardly be more different from our current administration's approach.

Now it's time for the final step: we all vote on which candidate is best able to lead the country out of the war in Iraq. We need to show that progressives will reward candidates who stand strong on Iraq.

And if you couldn't make it to a party, you're in luck! We captured it all on tape and in print. So, read or listen to the candidates' words first, and then cast your vote.

Only MoveOn members can officially vote, but the rest can vote here in the comments.

I know. I rock.

UPDATE: Now, here are the full results from the Virtual Town Hall vote (remember, this does not imply a MoveOn endorsement):

Sen. Barack Obama
28%
www.BarackObama.com

Sen. John Edwards
25%
www.JohnEdwards.com

Rep. Dennis Kucinich
17%
www.Kucinich.us

Gov. Bill Richardson
12%
www.RichardsonForPresident.com

Sen. Hillary Clinton
11%
www.HillaryClinton.com

Sen. Joe Biden
6%
www.JoeBiden.com

Sen. Chris Dodd
1%

McCain: Far Removed From Reality

Having recently returned from Iraq, I was encouraged by the signs of progress I saw on the ground being made there under the leadership of General Petraeus. If you did not see it, I hope you will also read an op-ed I wrote on the topic for last Sunday's Washington Post. The ongoing war in Iraq and the broader fight against terrorism is the preeminent issue of our time. We must be steadfast in our efforts and cannot surrender the battle before we have given this new strategy, a strategy for which I have long advocated, a chance to work.

Senator McCain is way out of step with the American people on this one. Can't wait until he self-destructs.

A Light of Hope

Clean sources of renewable energy like wind, solar, geothermal, and energy crops reduce global warming pollution, create jobs, save consumers money, and increase America’s energy independence and security.

A bill expected in the Senate would require utilities to have 15 percent of their electricity come from these clean, renewable sources by 2020.

Please urge your senators to support this strong renewable electricity standard.

Smokin' Hot Teachers

Nice to see and hear that teachers are angry as hell and not gonna take it anymore.

How can our district say that this plan will save them from having to hire more teachers? Already the numbers of dropped units and subsequently displaced (read: jobless) teachers are growing every day.

Call your neighborhood school and ask how many teachers won't be back next year. You'll be surprised.

An Offer I Can't Refuse

I'm rocking the (temporarily) single parent routine, right? Juggling work, school, Tae Kwon Do and piano lessons. Trying to fit it all in. Without medication.

Like my mom would say, "Shove a broom up my arse so I can sweep as I go along."

Which brings me to Hebrew School. Every Sunday morning, my kids get dragged, kicking and screaming (like every other Jewish kid in America), to learn about the rituals and responsibilities associated with being one of the Chosen People. I use that time to run home and take a poop in peace.

Feel me?

Today I got this "friendly reminder":

Important Notice
Please join us for the First Grade Family Education Day
"Shabbat Can Be"
This Sunday
9:30 a.m. to 12:00 noon

Cantor will teach parents ways to create a Warm and Nurturing Shabbat Home Experience.

Meaningful home Jewish rituals will also be discussed.

The children will be brought in part way through the program for Art Project and to Participate....

Don't let your child be the only one without a parent present! (Become an enlightened parent so that you can more intelligently discuss these topics with your child.)

Bagels, Coffee, and Juice will be served.

Looks like this Sunday I will be enjoying complex carbohydrates while fellow parents invade my personal space to talk about meaningful rituals that don't include private poops. Of course I'll be there. Don't want mine to be the *only children without a parent present*.

Gotta love Jewish guilt.

From Pasco Dems

The Florida Democratic Party will hold its 2007 State Convention October 26-28 at Disney's Yacht and Beach Club Resort in Lake Buena Vista.

If you are interested in becoming a convention Delegate representing Pasco County, you must contact us soon. The qualifying period for potential Delegates is April 16 through June 18, 2007.
Pasco County will hold Delegate Elections on Saturday, July 14, 2007 at the monthly meeting. Please review the following documents to qualify:

Delegate Qualification Form,
2007 State Convention Delegate Selection Rules,
Loyalty Oath

Delegate Qualification Forms must be submitted to the County DEC Chair, Vice Chair, State Committeeman or State Committeewoman by June 18, 2007.

Alison Berke Morano: alison.morano@gmail.com
Calvin Branche: cbranche@earthlink.net
Angella Bowman: angella.bowman@gmail.com
Matt Murphy: mmurphy3@tampabay.rr.com

The Florida Democratic Party will be releasing hotel room and other Convention information in the coming weeks. I hope you will make plans to attend what I know will be an exciting weekend.

If you have any questions, please feel free to call Party Headquarters (850-222-3411) and someone will be happy to assist you.

New Favorite Bumper Sticker

The Long Goodbye Continues

We have 6 1/2 weeks until school ends. My house has been on the market for over a year.

Lowered the price. Again.

All who believe in the power of prayer - say a few so my house finally sells and you can be rid of me once and for all.

The rest - throw a few positive thoughts my way.

Thanks.

Status Check

Four weeks since breast reduction/tummy tuck.

In an effort to keep all two of you informed (you're welcome), I thought I'd report honestly what to expect if you decide to go the nip/tuck route.

Think long and hard before going under the knife. First of all, lose every unnecessary pound and get in shape. You'll thank me later. I got down to my goal weight and stayed in shape for years after the boys were born before realizing that nothing but surgical intervention was going to make me bathing suit-worthy again. If I went through the pain and discomfort that comes from major surgery only to look in the mirror and see a fat ass or thunder thighs or flabby arms - I'd drive off the nearest cliff. No, it's hard enough going through all this and seeing that (sighofrelief) I am now proportionate. Only thing keeping me sane.

Keep in mind that for at least four weeks post-body trauma, you will not be able to (or more importantly) even want to:

• wax
• exercise
• clean
• practice yoga
• do the grown-up
• stay up past 9:30pm, even on weekends
• drink wine or tequila
• dance

You will be so swollen, so sore, the only clothes that will fit or feel comfortable are oversized shirts and sweatpants. Which means you'll feel frumpy. And so not sexy. And fat. Despite the fact that you've actually lost weight. Doesn't matter. You'll still feel ugly and look even worse.

The tegaderms or steri-strips that cover your wounds will itch. The only real comfort will come in the form of localized massage. This is not something you can do in public without being brought up on charges, so just grin and bear it. Or go into your office, draw the curtains, and play with yourself while moaning with relief. Co-workers *love* that.

You'll get at least two more bills from the hospital. For added expenses.

You won't feel like eating much. People will worry that you're wasting away. Especially Mom, who says she's seen better legs on Ethiopian children. When your appetite finally returns, you will eat three pieces of pizza in one sitting only to hear Dad say, "Keep eating like that and your tummy tuck will have been a huge waste of money."

Yeah. Family is great.

So, once again, prepare and really consider your options before making the "Dr. 90210" leap. And don't say I didn't warn you.

An Easter Outing

Pile my kids into the car for two reasons:

• pick up essentials (read: Tylenol and a six-pack) at Publix
• rent The Karate Kid from Blockbuster

That's it. No other reason to venture out wearing only a housecoat because everything else is in the laundry (and the only clean shirts available don't fit over swollen, post-surgery boobs) and besides, every ounce of energy left weeks earlier with no forewarding address.

Pull into the parking lot and G*DDAMN IT Publix is closed. Because of Easter.

"That's okay, Mommy," oldest says, "we can do this again tomorrow."

At least my extra-large shirts will be out of the dryer by then.

We search for our movie. Browze through entire store twice before asking Teenager Assistant Manager who's blowing bubblegum in everyone's general direction.

"That was checked out a half-hour ago."

Of course. Cause I'm not the only Mom jonesing for a Ralph Macchio moment.

"Good!" youngest says. "We can rent Star Wars again!"

"No," I say, "let's look for one where we don't know all the dialogue."

The Princess Bride. Willow. Goonies. All out.

Superman is now an updated version rated PG-13. So that's out.

After fifteen minutes and heading quickly into Migraine Territory, I tell the kids to pick something they haven't seen before. Youngest picks a cartoon rated G and Oldest picks a football film rated PG.

Fine. Let's go.

Not until we're in the car do I look carefully at their choices. Cartoon has a (what the f*ck?) lead character wearing A YANKEES CAP. Fantastic. And the football movie? What's this? Comes with a recommendation from the DOVE FOUNDATION? And was "brought to you" by a Baptist church!?!?!?!

No six-pack as far as the eye can see. And I'm all out of Tylenol.

Get a Life

Can you read a website written by someone you'd never want to meet? Or, better yet, someone you'd probably dislike and want to throw from a moving vehicle?

I can't. I pick writers like I pick friends. If someone seems shallow or unlikeable, for whatever reason, then his/her writing is dead to me. No matter how colorful his cadence or powerful her prose.

This filters into other areas as well. Mel Gibson might direct an important film, I'd never know. Wagner's operas sound like nails on a chalkboard and Tom Cruise turns my stomach. A few times, I've even met someone whose work I admire (coughDennisMillercough) but if they make a bad impression, then I can't get past it. They are never appreciated in the same way again.

I guess I have an aversion to assholes. In real life, on-line, and everywhere in between.

Political points of view don't matter. Conservatives can charm and fascinate while fellow progressives can come across as dour and pointless. Besides, I'd be a lonely girl if I only adored those who shine like me. How many liberal, vegetarian Jews of Irish descent do *you* know?

That's why I'm baffled by haters. You know the type - they read a website only to complain in comments or send emails riddled with insults and threats. Come on. Isn't there a Dukes of Hazzard episode you could be watching instead?

To my own little band of haters, I must say you are horribly misguided. You don't really know me. If we met, you'd walk away with giggles and happy thoughts. Ask around. I'm a delight. And my guess is, you know this. You're just hoping I start wearing baggy clothes and give that evangelical point of view a ride.

One of these days, right?

Well, keep on reading. And hoping. Don't let me stop you. Or my failure to understand your weird and wacky ways.

Happy Easter!

To all my Christian peeps and everyone enjoying the holiday. Especially those poor little lambs.

What would Jesus do?

Enjoy.

Upcoming Events

THINK GLOBAL

Next Tuesday—April 10th—at 7:15pm, MoveOn is using the Internet to connect presidential candidates directly to the people.

Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, John Edwards, Bill Richardson, Dennis Kucinich, and Joe Biden will answer questions from MoveOn.org's 3.2 million members in the first of three unprecedented virtual town hall meetings. The topic: Iraq.

You can sign up to attend a local house party and experience the virtual town hall with others by going here.

ACT LOCAL

Hillsborough County's School Board will meet to discuss outrageous policies and practices that will further reduce the effectiveness of our schools. Perhaps that's a good enough reason to put down your Steak-Um sandwich and get off the couch for a few hours.

Who: The School Board
Where: 901 E. Kennedy Blvd.
When: Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Time: 6pm

The Real Thing

I receive lots of Happy Passover wishes. This year, my brother's tops the list.

Know what I love about Passover?

Coca-Cola puts out its original "sugar" formula of Coke Classic in two
liter bottles. Instead of that cheap christian, high fructose corn syrup crap.

Time to stock up, thanks jews!

It really doesn't get any better.

Keep Your Money Green

Sweating over your taxes?

Before you cut that check to Uncle Sam, be sure to learn about the various tax credits and other incentives that can help reduce your tax bill while at the same time encouraging energy conservation.

While you're at it, find out how you can spread the word about green tax breaks and help keep our taxes green.

And hey -- that's just one way to you can jumpstart your celebration of Earth Day, April 22. Check out some other ways at Sierra Club's Earth Day website.

Calling Brown-Waite Constituents

The House will soon vote on Representative Rush Holt's paperless voting machine ban. But last-minute opposition is trying to do away with the crucial deadline of paper voting in time for the 2008 presidential election.Years of grassroots pressure have advanced the fight for secure, verified elections to this point. Now we need to put it over the top.

Your representative is home on recess, so it's a perfect time to call her local office.

Can you ask Congresswoman Ginny Brown-Waite to co-sponsor the Holt paper voting bill (H.R. 811) and defend the bill's 2008 deadline?

Congresswoman Ginny Brown-Waite
District Offices:
Brooksville: 352-799-8354
Dade City: 352-567-6707

From the Florida Dems

Last week, a State House panel voted on party lines to reject common sense legislation to require a paper trail for Florida elections with Republicans voting against. Republican Dennis Baxley, a staunch opponent of fair elections, lashed out in response to criticism: "The fact is some people just don't like the outcome of elections so they question the integrity of the system."

Even Republican Governor Charlie Crist (who we're pretty sure liked the outcome of the 2006 election) is on our side because a verifiable paper trail just makes sense. We have to restore the people's confidence in elections, and that means requiring a paper trail.

Read More!

You Could Be a Star

And for a good cause, too.

More Passover Humor

Cute or lame.

You decide.

Not Saved

I'm Jewish. Converted in a conservative synagogue and now attend a reform temple. Turns out, perhaps I missed my calling.

Took a fun quiz (is there any other kind?) to see which religion suits me and discovered my answers are more in line with Traditional Quakers. Who knew?

My results break down like this:

1. Liberal Quakers (100%)
2. Secular Humanism (99%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (97%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (89%)
5. Neo-Pagan (86%)
6. Theravada Buddhism (82%)
7. New Age (78%)
8. Reform Judaism (73%)
9. Bahá'í Faith (72%)
10. Orthodox Quaker (71%)
11. Jainism (69%)
12. Mahayana Buddhism (67%)
13. Nontheist (67%)
14. Taoism (63%)
15. Scientology (52%)
16. Islam (50%)
17. Orthodox Judaism (50%)
18. New Thought (47%)
19. Hinduism (43%)
20. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (42%)
21. Seventh Day Adventist (40%)
22. Sikhism (40%)
23. Jehovah's Witness (34%)
24. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (33%)
25. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (27%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (25%)
27. Roman Catholic (25%)

I interpret these (at times disturbing) numbers (Scientology - seriously?) to mean that most religions, and by default most of us, are more alike than different.

Such an interpretation probably bumps me up to at least 83% Buddhist. Or 84. At least. But since Buddhists and Secular Humanists (big fan!) don't serve mandel bread. Ever. I think I'll stay where I'm at.

Thanks though.

h/t Steve

Yuck

Something slightly obscene about a superintendent who breaks the backs of her teachers while profiting from their hard work.

Dontcha think?

Matzoh is Very Binding

Ever wanted to try matzoh? This'll cure that particular urge.

Why would someone attend a gefilte fish festival?

h/t Dalia

A Good Pesach to All

Main reason Dad doesn't do Passover with us - the hour long reading before dinner. See, Dad believes reading shouldn't be done at the table, but on the toilet as God intended.

Here's a Passover reading even Dad could get behind. Try it out tonight.

The Two-Minute Haggadah
A Passover service for the impatient.

Opening prayers:
Thanks, God, for creating wine. (Drink wine.)
Thanks for creating produce. (Eat parsley.)

Overview: Once we were slaves in Egypt . Now we're free. That's why
we're doing this.

Four questions:
1. What's up with the matzoh?
2. What's the deal with horseradish?
3. What's with the dipping of the herbs?
4. What's this whole slouching at the table business?

Answers:
1. When we left Egypt , we were in a hurry. There was no time for making decent bread.
2. Life was bitter, like horseradish.
3. It's called symbolism.
4. Free people get to slouch.

Funny story: Once, these five rabbis talked all night, then it was
morning.(Heat soup now.)

The four kinds of children and how to deal with them:
Wise child-explain Passover.
Simple child-explain Passover slowly.
Silent child-explain Passover loudly.
Wicked child-browbeat in front of the relatives.

Speaking of children: We hid some matzoh. Whoever finds it gets five
bucks.

The story of Passover: It's a long time ago. We're slaves in Egypt .
Pharaoh is a nightmare. We cry out for help. God brings plagues upon the Egyptians. We escape, bake some matzoh. God parts the Red Sea . We make it through; the Egyptians aren't so lucky. We wander 40 years in the desert, eat manna, get the Torah, wind up in Israel , get a new temple, enjoy several years without being persecuted again. (Let brisket cool now.)

The 10 Plagues: Blood, Frogs, Lice-you name it.

The singing of "Dayenu": If God had gotten us out of Egypt and not punished our enemies, it would've been enough. If he'd punished our enemies and not parted the Red Sea , it would've been enough. If he'd parted the Red Sea -(Remove gefilte fish from refrigerator now.)

Eat matzoh. Drink more wine. Slouch.

Thanks again, God, for everything.

SERVE MEAL.

h/t Becky

Something to Do

Senator Barack Obama will be in Ybor City on Sunday, April 15th at 2pm. For details and tickets, call 813.258.2224. See you then.

h/t Stogie

Help Florida House 13 - Christine Jennings

The Pasco Democrats received a personal request from Christine Jennings. Ms. Jennings needs our help! She has asked us to get the message out that we need to bring more media attention to Florida's Congressional District 13, and the faulty voting machines. Will you help us help Christine by contacting the Lou Dobbs show and the Oprah Winfrey show and ask them to please give attention to this issue?

In light of the recent discovery of a delay in transmitting results from some of the machines used in the Florida elections, she believes she has an even stronger case. In addition, Speaker Pelosi has convened a special investigation into the District 13 results. (Yesterday it was announced that the investigation will move forward beginning April 17).

If you can help her by writing letters to The Oprah Winfrey Show and Lou Dobbs Tonight, please let us know - and send it to us, so we can get it to her for her own records.

Contact Information

Oprah Winfrey


Lou Dobbs