I hardly ever comment on celebrity news, especially celebrity break-up news. However, the
Kate Hudson-Chris Robinson relationship did play a small part in my own changing philosophy on marriage dos and don’ts - so I thought I’d share some of that here. And, as always, get ridiculed as a result.
As a newlywed, I had two deal breakers: no hitting or cheating. So far, so good. Discussing this with Becky over a year ago, she said,
“Define cheating.”
“Sex. Of any kind.”
Long pause.
“Really?” she asked. “After seventeen years together and two kids, you’d leave over one moment of weakness?”
“Sex doesn’t take just one moment. It should take at least fifteen if done properly.”
Then I stopped and considered her point. Like Dennis Prager says, when you’ve got it all figured out: think a second time. A little while later, my sister and I were talking about infidelity. She read
an article about Kate Hudson, who said maybe we aren’t supposed to be monogamous or with only one person our entire lives. I don’t necessarily agree, but I see her point. We all know serial philanderers out there who are otherwise terrific human beings. Maybe some people aren’t cut out for the whole “keep only unto her” commitment. Hudson said she wouldn’t cheat on her husband; however, if he strayed, she’d live with it. She just wouldn’t want to know the details.
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m with her.”
I’m not sure why I changed my mind. I can't share a tooth brush with someone else, much less share my husband with another woman. Still. Perhaps as I get older, I’ve learned more about myself and others and realize that sh*t sometimes happens. I’m less judgmental and whole lot more understanding than I used to be.
Whenever a famous couple breaks up, people say, “No one in Hollywood values marriage anymore.” That’s not necessarily true. Cut them some slack. How hard must it be to remain faithful when beautiful, dynamic and successful people are always available for a good time? Even those involved in a solid marriage – I don’t know how they do it. Kate Hudson alone has turned down Luke Wilson, Matthew McConaughey, and probably dozens more. Matthew McConaughey! Give the girl an award. I’m not sure I’d
end a marriage over Owen Wilson, though. After a month or two, he'll probably start leaving dirty underwear around the house and then she’s gotta spend quality time training him, too. What’s the point? I often tell my friends who get the itch: buy a toy and skip the drama. Easy for me to say, though. I’ve never been tempted by Brad Pitt.
It's hard enough when normal men turn on the charm. I’ve managed to stay right girl, but it hasn’t always been easy and let's not pretend otherwise. I laugh when someone says with their head held high,
“I love my wife so much, if that
Alias chick were standing here naked, I’d say no.”
Don’t believe that guy. He’s cruising for hookers in the family car with a bumper sticker that says: I Believe in Marriage. Trust me, have him tested. I’d rather hear someone say they’ve resisted the hottie today and will try their best again tomorrow. At least that’s a realistic approach. Never say never.
When
An Indecent Proposal came out years ago, I asked my mom if she’d let dad have sex with someone who was willing to pay a million dollars for the treat.
“I’d let him do it for half,” Mom said.
I used to think she was nuts. Now I’m not so sure.
By the way, my husband never had such a deal breaker with me. Perhaps he’s more evolved or just incredibly cocky. I’ve come over to his way of thinking and as a result, nothing has really changed. So far, so good.
